beckoningchasm

It’s A Lot Like A Comic Strip But Without The Jokes

I was kind of hoping (as I’m sure most of you were) that Sunday’s Dinkle was a one-off, but all hopes come to Funky Winkerbean to die. I’d be happy to have a week of John and Harry talking about an event that they’ve never been to, but when the chance to shovel in Dinkle rears its ugly head, Batiuk jumps in with both feet.

I hate characters like Les and Darrin, but it’s Dinkle that really pushes the loathing lever to FULL. Both Les and Darrin are obnoxious, untalented dullards who whine when the universe rewards them richly, but neither one is treated like a sage wise oracle the way Dinkle is. And he is utterly undeserving of such worship, but he’s based on a beloved teacher of Batiuk so he gets lionized.

Gah. I say Gah again, sir.

Watch Out, The World’s Behind You

Link to today’s strip.

As always, Sunday’s strips are a mystery unavailable beforehand. But like a cold, damp Montoni’s pizza where you can taste nothing but grease, they’re a mystery whose solution is never fun.

I assume we’re going to get more of Wally’s graduation party, with perhaps a bit of sermonizing on the plight of the immigrant. The problem, as always, is that Batiuk refuses to do the minimal research necessary to get the facts right, so all his arguments end up being just flat out wrong.

You’d think his desperate attempts to appear Significant would make him refine his methods so he doesn’t come off as Willfully Ignorant. But I guess chasing awards doesn’t leave much time for anything other than Flash comics.

Break a Wish

Link to today’s strip.

Not much to say about this one…it’s okay, but the fact that Rachel’s wish was for Wally to become a night manager at a pizza place–well. It’s hard to think of anything sadder. Although I’m sure Batiuk regards that as a challenge and will get right to work on that.

I have to say, that’s the most unappetizing pizza I’ve ever seen. It looks cold and damp. This might be a testament to Chuck Ayers’ drawing skills, but I think he’s going in the wrong direction.

Charles made an interesting observation in yesterday’s comments, to wit: “H-1B visas are temporary work permits for foreigners who have specialty skills. Washing dishes at or assistant managing a pizza place is not one of those skills. Adeela’s literally taking a job a local American could do.’

That got me to thinking…why was Adeela here in the first place? I have to assume that H-1B visas are given to foreigners whose skills are pre-existing. In other words, they’ve already been trained in a specialty that few Americans have.

Adeela, though, was going to school here in the US to acquire her architecture degree…in other words, she was given an H-1B based on a skill she did not already possess.

Could it possibly work that way? “Oh, here’s a Muslim woman who wants an H-1B visa. What? She doesn’t have a specialty skill? Oh, well, I’m sure she’ll go to college here and get one. Next!”

Batiuk should really stick to things he knows about, or at least learn to use Google.

Let’s Make Adeela!

Link to today’s strip.

Well, those of you who said that Adeela will end up working at Montoni’s–please go to the ticket booth to collect your winnings!

I’m rather surprised that Wally, only a few minutes into his new position, felt that he could go over Funky’s head and hire someone to work–and on someone else’s shift, too. That’s pretty damn bold, and not in his character at all. I kind of thought he’d be all cringey and cowardly, and he’d meekly ask for another favor before presenting Adeela as a possible hire.

I think Batiuk thought we’d all be surprised by this development, but it was honestly pretty inevitable. The only thing he could do with Adeela was either send her back to Miseristan or make her part of the regular cast. And I’m sure he thought that if he kept her around, those awards would start rolling in. I guess she’s not quite as punchable as the worst characters here, but she doesn’t really bring anything to the strip (other than making Batiuk’s thirst for awards even more obvious). She’s just a distaff Wally, a sack of misery pushed here and there by forces she’s decided she cannot fight.

I guess Funky’s dialogue proves that Rachel is quitting–I’m not sure what a “day person” is, but it probably wasn’t Wally. Wally was a dishwasher (and I’m sure that will still be his primary role), and “day person” sounds like someone who actually runs the place…which sounds an awful lot like like Funky, come to think.

Well, there’s no way that Adeela is going to replace Funky, because as a female, she’s incapable of so many things in Westview. But, whatever her role in the restaurant, I’m sure that architecture degree will come in super handy.

Night of the Living Manager

Link to today’s strip.

I remember when Dullard left, Funky was worrying about filling his position and Wally volunteered for the job. Funky dismissed the offer out of hand, and now we know why: you can’t be a manager if you don’t have a degree. Why, the absurdity! Being a degree-less schmo is fine if you’re just washing the disease off the plates, but manager? Never!

Apparently, though, someone was hired to manage the place during the night…someone who we’ve never seen, and whose existence has never even been hinted about. (But probably had a degree.) I suspect this being quit so that it could join its fellow cryptids like the Fresno Nightcrawler, the Flatwoods Monster or the Hopkinsville aliens.

By the way, is Funky talking about a closing manager? Because I would think the night would have much bigger crowds than the lunch shift, with that much more responsibility as well. Wally still seems right on the edge of frail, so I don’t know what a large, boisterous crowd would do to him. Ha! I kid…like Montoni’s ever had a large crowd.

A closing manager for Montoni’s would just add up the mediocre receipts, see that the equipment looks clean enough, cage the apes, weep quietly and so on.

Not much else to say about this one…it’s dull, unfunny and the events therein (Wally being a manager) will be ignored in the future anyway, so that boring, poorly-constructed word-play can be made.

Nice to see that continuity is still as much ignored as always. The other day, Tony had a red sweater. Today, it’s black. Either someone in quality control slipped up, or Tony was covered in blood and it has now coagulated.