ComicBookHarriet

Just Like Howard the Duck in Guardians of the Galaxy.

Whelp, it’s been a fun two weeks at the helm. In fourteen days, we learned that Chester Hagglemore wants to meet with Pete for some reason. And that Darin does at least occasionally visit his parents. I feel like we’ve accomplished a lot.

Beckoning Chasm gets to see us through to the end of the month and beyond. Think we’ll know what Chester has planned by then? Think again! Ann Fairgood in the masthead heralds at least a brief stopover in grandparents’ land.

It is weird, it’s been so long since there has been any kind of suspense in these strips. Some question that you KNOW will actually (probably) get answered. Batiuk doesn’t know how to weave suspense into his day to day, so when he accidentally gets any at all he drags it out to a week of envelope opening.

One thought I’d like to leave you with: What if it IS actually scary inside Darin’s head? What if…hidden under his bland milquetoast nature…his brain is a twisted kaleidoscope of terrifying imagery that would make Hieronymus Bosch double take? This is my personal headcanon now.

Right. The taxi thing.

Link to Today’s Strip.

Either Chester has two homes with one located in Ohio, (admittedly possible) or (more likely) Batiuk has forgotten that he established that Chester’s comics palace is located in New York.

Darin is actually referring to the elder Fairgoods, his adoptive parents! For the first time since last March. He called them ‘Mom and Dad’ then, but now calls them ‘The Grandparents,’ which is weird. Unless you’re a Funkysnark Addict or Batiuk Defender TrueFan, you will just assume that they’re visiting Darin’s grandparents.

And wow…that last panel…I haven’t seen nerdy homo-romantic chemistry between two allegedly hetero-males like THAT since Poe and Finn, Or Magneto and Professor-X. The Flash and Green Lantern. Frodo and Sam. Captain America and Bucky…

Huh, maybe Batiuk is actually intentionally referencing comics here…

It also took me second to get the ‘Uber’ joke. In my comicdom myopia I was associating it with the idea that Nichtize’s Ubermencsh was a inspiration for Superman, and the irony of Jewish comics writers appropriating a proto-Nazi concept. And also how creepy it was the vaguely Semitic looking Pete associating the ‘Ayran’ looking Darin with anything even tangentially Nazi.

And then I was like…ohhhh Uber….like the car thing…

Spot Six Differences!

Wow! Bob Weber of Slylock Fox would be proud of today’s offering.

At first I thought there was something wrong, and they simply hadn’t updated the strips. Because today is a reprint of yesterday’s strip. But upon further inspection there do seem to be tiny, subtle differences between yesterday and today. See if you can find all six!

It took me hours and hours, but I finally found one: The cosmic treadmill that Pete and Darin bought on their second honeymoon is in the background of panel two! How many can you find?

What a fun and interactive game Batiuk has given us. It may not progress the plot, deepen the characters, or be even in the least bit interesting or funny, but at least it fills a Friday shaped hole in our week. One more box checked off as we all coast inevitably to an obscure retirement, and an unlauded death.

So Fun!

Bloop Bloop.

There is less than nothing going on today.

This is like when horrible one note authors attempt to pad out their paychecks by writing the same story again, but gender flipped or from the guy’s perspective this time! We have reached Life and Death or Grey levels of storytelling here people.

So because there is no plot to speak of. I’ll just point out some tidbits I noticed in each panel.

Panel 1.) Boy Lisa’s table seems positioned in the middle of the room, instead of up against a wall, and his overhead light seems to be behind his head AND pointed away from his workstation. He asks if the text is ‘more script changes’ which means that they regularly get TEXTS of script changes in a major motion picture sequel. Pete has a tiny phone.

Panel 2.) You know that this is California because of the medical marijuana growing right outside the window. Pete’s hands are the size of his head and the bags under his eyes have drifted so far down his cheek they might as well be Tony Montana scars. Pete’s phone has grown in size.

Panel 3.) Boy Lisa’s desk light is now in front of him. His face is a horrifying mask with terrible pencil eyebrows drawn all the way up on his forehead. He is apparently wearing a black v-neck t-shirt like a total tool. We can see that Pete’s now minuscule cell phone isn’t even a touchscreen smart phone, but rather some knockoff blackberry-lite. I link a picture of my phone, for reference. Sad, cheap, pathetic reference.

“Variant” Curiosity

Link to Today’s Comic.

Yeah, yeah Chester, “purely out of curiosity.” I said the same thing when I went to go see Magic Mike. There’s nothing ‘pure’ about it. At least we’ve confirmed for sure that the Komix Korner basically sells porn.

I am wondering just what Chester means by “the other half.” He’s been shown to collect Starbuck Jones, The Amazing Mister Sponge, The Lunar Cadets, and whatever the heck Chicken Coop Charlie and Pork Chop Chuck is. He has Batman and Superman on the gates to his private palace. He can’t be one of those really insufferable comics fans that turns their nose up at anything that isn’t Saga or something.

Also Variant covers are a massive scam. I have a friend who checks online and tells her comics shop beforehand which cover of the next Transformers comics she likes. If she doesn’t get the one she wants, she buys it TWICE. Madness!