Jupiter Goons

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And as you can see in the header, we’re off to La-La Land again. No, not Hollywood, as the Starbuck Jones movie and Boy Lisa’s struggles as an aspiring storyboarder guy with a new family to support arcs are dead in the water and circling slowly around the drain. No, I’m talking about LA-LA LAND, BanTom’s vivid little old-timey (sigh) comic book company fantasy world. Forget the insane muttering about the Starbuck Jones film, forget Boy Lisa’s Frankie-esque sneer, forget the fact that Jessica and Skylar are apparently taking the long way to California, none of that matters. It’s only a matter of time until one of these cretins says “hey, I wonder what Batom Comics was like in the olden days?” and bam, just like that it’s Cigar Guy and the two retro morons again, babbling away about imaginary comic books. All f*cking week.

Still though, this drivel is pretty funny in its own way. So Mason has been employed as the SJ male lead for a few YEARS now and they just recently signed his female co-star? Ummm, yeah, OK Tom, whatever you say. At this pace these idiots will still be laboring over this screenplay for years to come.

A Hole (Where My Comic Book Shop Used To Be)

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That’s right FW readers, on “his way” to work at the Korner, Harry routinely passes by yet another comic book shop, “The Black Hole” owned and operated by “Nick The Geek”. I am assuming that Crazy must be taking the long way to work or something. Anyhow, the two morons lament the state of the comic book business, make a stupid comic book reference and (zzzzzzzzz). You’ve seen it all before, over and over again. And something tells me it won’t be the last time either.

Status: Woe

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Har har har, these goth chicks today, amirite? You know, with all the rings and so on. Because in Westview, when you commit to something it’s for LIFE, damn it!

But seriously, it’s a real shame that there isn’t anyone to gently inform BanMan that maybe it’s time to just stop with the high school-centric premises, as this was definitely one of the most stupid and listless WHS arcs he’s ever done, which is really saying something. What’s next, a week’s worth of gags about fire drills? Water fountains? The way the floor gets slippery when the custodians mop it? If FW gets any more mundane it’ll just feature the characters standing there yawning day after day. And truth be told, it’d most likely be a huge step up.

So Does “Listless Pile Of Crap”

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Again, we see yet another Westviewian completely stripped of all free will and miserably going through the motions as if there’s simply no other way. Which kind of sums up FW’s entire run rather perfectly when you think about it. It’s almost impossible to believe that he’s somehow grinding an entire week out of this pitiful premise, yet here we are. And now he’s so desperate for content he’s resorting to using CODY to deliver his painfully bad class ring gags. He really needs to get out more and expand upon this “whatever happens to fall within my field of vision at any given time” approach he has to dreaming up these premises of his.

It’s Been Done

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Cody really should check in with Wally here, he once made a paper ring so nice he actually used it to convince a woman to MARRY him! True story!

But enough about war veterans without dogs, that’s so last week. This week we’re still immersed in the compelling and socially relevant world of high school class ring purchasing. I’m amazed that he never chose to tackle this issue before, seeing how it’s the most mundane premise imaginable and all. It’s just such natural BanTom fodder. I’m anxious to see just how many hilarious ring-related gags he has lined up for use in this premise. My current guess is zero and I’m standing pat with that.