Epicus Doomus

Old Lame Syne

I guess Les isn’t hosting his New Year’s party this year and all I can say about that is thank f*cking God. Anyone who lived through THAT trauma knows exactly what I mean. Anyhow, Cory and his lady friend Rocky obviously decided to take the lamest possible approach to their NYE planning, opting to sit on mom and dad’s sofa while the geriatric Funk-Man staggers off to bed at quarter to twelve, fully living up to his “my life is already over” philosophy.

The punch line here left me a little baffled…”they know, they know”. What, that they can tell time? Or that they’re unbelievably lame? While I never really “liked” Cory, he sure was more enjoyable when he was a surly disagreeable punk instead of boring Corporal Winkerbean.

Hope everyone has a happy New Year, looking forward to another fun-filled year of prestige arcs and filler (mostly filler)! Enjoy!

Ewww Leers Eve

Link to today’s strip

“Charming”?? More like the quintessential creepy pervy uncle, leering at girls less than (ha) half his age (although in his defense, EVERYONE appears younger than Funky) with a disgusting smirk on his face. Then again, by Westviewian standards that could indeed pass for “charm”, so who am I to say?

I’m kind of confused as I though Cory was leaving as recently as yesterday. Sometimes those Sunday strips happen in an alternate Funkyverse (gak) where things are not always as they seem. Or TB did all the weekday strips at once then did all the Sunday ones and just plain screwed up the continuity (again). Either or.

The Pun Never Ends

Today’s Strip

I have to assume that this is what happens to TB too: he starts a task, then gets distracted by his undying love for unspeakably awful punnery and sadistically terrible wordplay. On the plus side, however, at least Funky is seated, which spares us the sight of his bulbous, humongous ass. When you read FW every day you have to find the small victories wherever you can. Check out those snazzy bifocals though, such amazing attention to detail.

Coming next week: Funky discovers a rare, autographed first draft copy of “Fallen Star”. He puts it on Ebay and sells it for seven cents to the high bidder, a “Ohiocancerfan65”. Hilarity ensues.

It’s been an epic two weeks here at SoSF…pills, bullying, Metamucil, Halloween, Funky’s attic and old FW gags from 1978. It’s been a blast as always, but it’s time for me to step aside to make way for the fantastic comedy stylings of the one, the only…BeckoningChasm (beginning Monday)! See you in the comment section gang and, as always, stay f*cking Funky!!!

Hold The Mayo

Today’s Strip

While I’m not 100% sure about this, I believe this “I Chong” was an pre-Lisa Act I bit he used to do semi-regularly as a way to squeeze more of his famous bad puns and awful wordplay in there despite there being no storyline reason to do so. I remember it vaguely, sort of, I guess, but not anything specific about it. And the gag holds up about as well as you’d expect a forty year old gag to hold up, which is to say not at all. I don’t think I’ve heard a Mayo Clinic gag since Johnny Carson retired.

So not only is Funky not helping Holly at all, but he’s going to get squiggles all over the back of his favorite Montoni’s shirt and end up tracking even more squiggles throughout the house. Nice going there, fatso.

Jury-Rigged Plot Device

So today the huge Holly/Cory comic book caper mega-arc more or less “officially” begins! Yes, the seemingly-eternal wait is at long last finally over! Cory’s looking snazzy with his new “military spec” haircut…a lot sharper than his mom, who apparently gets her hair done at a lesbian barber college for the blind. No offense to blind lesbians intended, of course.

BatTom does a nice job capturing the look of FaceToFacebook’s layout, especially for someone who openly hates that dadgummed “technology” crap as much as he does. He also does a nice job capturing Cory’s sudden eyebrow injury in panel three, although I have no doubt that modern medicine (featuring technology!) can at least try to repair them so Cory can resume at least a somewhat “normal” life when he (inevitably) returns to Westview to a) work at WHS, b) work at Montoni’s or c) work at the Korner.

Not too long ago, The Grand Finale was a frequent topic around these parts (TGF being how TB decides to end FW). My present working theory is that Cory, who will escape the military mostly unscathed, will return home a “fine young man” who will begin dating and eventually marry (ugh) Westview’s resident “fine young woman”, thus bringing the Moores and Winkerbeans together at long last in a sort of unholy alliance of wry smirking, rapid aging and sudden weight gain which will culminate in the birth of Lisa Jr. on Xmas Day, at which point our collective heads will explode and SoSF will cease to exist. My back-up theory is that nothing whatsoever will happen, which is definitely far more likely.