Son of Stuck Funky – Page 749 – Son of Stuck Funky

Funky Say WHAT

Greetings, fellow snarkers, BChasm back for another stint (I almost wrote “stink”) in the Funky Winkerbean guest-host-o-rama.

For a comic strip that continually confounds me, today’s episode is a grand-slam home run. I have no idea whatsoever what is supposed to be conveyed by Funky’s expression and dialogue in panel three. His words say “I’m astonished to the point of horror” but his face is swept with the bemusement that, aside from the smirk, is the most prevalent facial expression in Westview. Replace Holly’s dialogue with “I found a dozen pies” and his expression suddenly makes perfect sense.

Taking a wild stab here, I’m going to assume that Funky is a fan of Starbuck Jones (wasn’t that the comic he urged his younger self to buy?) and is amazed that Cory has even heard of such a thing. Perhaps the two of them actually share a characteristic, other than unending cynicism.

This is quite a surprise to me. The reason it’s surprising is that in all my recent reading of Funky Winkerbean (since the tail end of the Gay Promeggedon) I cannot recall a single area in which Funky expresses any interest at all. Well, there’s Steve Earle I suppose. But other than that, Funky seems to have no interests, hobbies or anything that distinguishes him from the pizza dough he endlessly kneads. Other than owning the only healthy business in Westview, he seems to have no purpose.

Well, okay, he does serve one function. But “He was one of Les Moore’s foils” is not going to be much of an epitaph.

Dimming of the Day

I hope everyone enjoyed Epicus’ guest stint these last couple
of weeks! Tune in tomorrow when Beckoning Chasm
takes a turn in the SoSF wheelhouse.

I was tempted to go with a “dark/light” theme in the post title, but thought better of it. Whatever other complaints can be laid at Batiuk’s doorstep, he’s always presented the biracial aspect of Les and Cayla’s relationship in a matter-of-fact style (of course, his eradication of almost all her racial characteristics is another story). But Cayla has spent most of her nearly five years with Les competing against rivals living (Susan) and dead (Lisa), while Les remained completely oblivious to her devotion. That’s why when TB decides to show Les and Cayla getting romantic, it just rings totally false.

Notice Les’ face in panel 2: instead of a contented smile, he offers a haughty, sidelong glance as if to say, “Good Lord, woman, what are you talking about now?” Cayla is observing the end of Daylight Savings Time (Crankshaft is observing it too, in a strip that at least tries to be funny). Les musters what little charm he possesses, and he shares with his Cayla what he likes about the early dusk: it allows him to sit with her in the dark and imagine he’s with Lisa.

The Pun Never Ends

Today’s Strip

I have to assume that this is what happens to TB too: he starts a task, then gets distracted by his undying love for unspeakably awful punnery and sadistically terrible wordplay. On the plus side, however, at least Funky is seated, which spares us the sight of his bulbous, humongous ass. When you read FW every day you have to find the small victories wherever you can. Check out those snazzy bifocals though, such amazing attention to detail.

Coming next week: Funky discovers a rare, autographed first draft copy of “Fallen Star”. He puts it on Ebay and sells it for seven cents to the high bidder, a “Ohiocancerfan65”. Hilarity ensues.

It’s been an epic two weeks here at SoSF…pills, bullying, Metamucil, Halloween, Funky’s attic and old FW gags from 1978. It’s been a blast as always, but it’s time for me to step aside to make way for the fantastic comedy stylings of the one, the only…BeckoningChasm (beginning Monday)! See you in the comment section gang and, as always, stay f*cking Funky!!!

Hold The Mayo

Today’s Strip

While I’m not 100% sure about this, I believe this “I Chong” was an pre-Lisa Act I bit he used to do semi-regularly as a way to squeeze more of his famous bad puns and awful wordplay in there despite there being no storyline reason to do so. I remember it vaguely, sort of, I guess, but not anything specific about it. And the gag holds up about as well as you’d expect a forty year old gag to hold up, which is to say not at all. I don’t think I’ve heard a Mayo Clinic gag since Johnny Carson retired.

So not only is Funky not helping Holly at all, but he’s going to get squiggles all over the back of his favorite Montoni’s shirt and end up tracking even more squiggles throughout the house. Nice going there, fatso.

Jury-Rigged Plot Device

So today the huge Holly/Cory comic book caper mega-arc more or less “officially” begins! Yes, the seemingly-eternal wait is at long last finally over! Cory’s looking snazzy with his new “military spec” haircut…a lot sharper than his mom, who apparently gets her hair done at a lesbian barber college for the blind. No offense to blind lesbians intended, of course.

BatTom does a nice job capturing the look of FaceToFacebook’s layout, especially for someone who openly hates that dadgummed “technology” crap as much as he does. He also does a nice job capturing Cory’s sudden eyebrow injury in panel three, although I have no doubt that modern medicine (featuring technology!) can at least try to repair them so Cory can resume at least a somewhat “normal” life when he (inevitably) returns to Westview to a) work at WHS, b) work at Montoni’s or c) work at the Korner.

Not too long ago, The Grand Finale was a frequent topic around these parts (TGF being how TB decides to end FW). My present working theory is that Cory, who will escape the military mostly unscathed, will return home a “fine young man” who will begin dating and eventually marry (ugh) Westview’s resident “fine young woman”, thus bringing the Moores and Winkerbeans together at long last in a sort of unholy alliance of wry smirking, rapid aging and sudden weight gain which will culminate in the birth of Lisa Jr. on Xmas Day, at which point our collective heads will explode and SoSF will cease to exist. My back-up theory is that nothing whatsoever will happen, which is definitely far more likely.