Category: Son of Stuck Funky

Head Games

Link to today’s strip

Apparently Dinkle, who’s obviously spent way, way too much time hanging around that school, has no idea how actual tunnels work. And apparently TheAuthor, who’s spent way, way too much time re-visiting one of his old Act I stalwarts, has no idea how to make Dinkle funny without invoking his old, long-since dead and buried persona. Or even when he does, as aptly demonstrated today.

Of course the one glaringly obvious flaw in this “joke” (other than the aforementioned tunnel fail) is that Dinkle, who apparently NEVER leaves the school grounds except for infrequent sex romps and massages, must have seen the big inflatable football helmet before. But for the sake of his creepy fantasy, the reader has to pretend this is the first he’s heard of it. OK Tom, whatever. Like I always say, no point in having suddenly start making sense now.

Megaphoning It In

Link to today’s strip

“Easy there, Becky…you’re beginning to sound like your mother.”

“I see my influence is finally rubbing off on you, Becky.”

(No third panel at all)

There, three “jokes” right off the top of my head that would have worked better than having the constantly cackling Dinkle make a stupid irrelevant reference to a character from a different strip no one cares about. This is one of those times when I just can’t grasp the logic at work here, unless it’s just pure unmitigated laziness, in which case I understand completely.

How many FW readers are even going to get that “joke”? I’d bet that they’ll both be confused and be forced to resort to going to the official Batom Inc. website, clicking on “complete cast of characters” and scrolling through the detailed information within in order to…oh, wait. Never mind.

Bland Camp

Link to today’s strip

TFH is sailing off to Bora Bora (or did he say Oradell?) this week on the good ship “WinkerHate”, so I’m bravely stepping into the box to pinch-snark, so to speak. So let’s see what fabulous, engrossing and hilarious tale Our Hero has cooked up for us this week…

Uh-oh, that empty-sleeve-flapping-in-the-breeze-like sound in the air can only mean one thing: it’s band camp joke season again. And right on cue, there’s Dinkle, smirking and cackling and waxing nostalgic about how things used to be back before he retired. Many years ago. From his job as band director. I think he was deaf at one time too, although he appears to hear everything just fine now. He just celebrated his 50th wedding anniversary, you know, in case you just recently started reading the strip or something.

Last year’s band camp arc ended on a cliffhanger as Becky apparently reached the boiling point re: her mother’s incessant meddling. Then everything suddenly stopped so Batom could get Les & Cayla’s wedding in before all the leaves in Westview fell (and it was a close call, let me tell ya). Not that I especially care about “resolving” that arc, I think it’s pretty safe to say that no one else does either. One meddlesome old coot per arc is one too many as it is. But still, it was pretty strange how he just abandoned that storyline cold like that. My guess: he fell asleep, woke up, thought he’d finished it, submitted it, no one noticed/checked/cared and that was that. What, you have a better explanation???

Ring of Shame

The second most surprising thing about today’s strip: Montoni’s has a modern touchscreen point-of-sale system. you’d expect to see an old-time ch-ching! cash register behind the counter.

The real story here is how Rachel “I’m only a blonde on Sundays” O’Conner cleverly finagles a real engagement ring from her dishwasher fiancé. Fashioning a ring out of Wally’s I.O.U. initially seemed sweet and spontaneous. Now she makes it clear to Wally that she intends to wear that damn thing on her finger every day, informing every Montoni’s customer who asks “What’s this?” that Wally didn’t buy her a ring.