Quasi Fake Humor

“. . . it’s worth more now as a quasi fake computer than it was a real computer”.

This has to take the prize as most awkward, crappy sentence in the history of Funky Winkerbean, if not comic strips as a whole. I mean, wow. There’s a word just obviously missing “as a real computer”, for starters, showcasing the lack of crap-giving on the author’s part and the fact that nobody else reads these strips before they’re printed. Then there’s just the fact that so many words mean literally nothing. It’s now a “quasi fake” computer? What does “quasi fake” even mean? It’s either fake or not. It’s like saying Lisa was “quasi dead”. If anything it’s more of a real computer now, since before it was blatantly cartoony, making wisecracks, and now it’s just an Alexa/Siri knockoff. Take a bow, Tom Batiuk, this has to be your peak.
Oh, and Chester apparently has something worth two-million dollars sitting around the abandoned old building where Pete and Darin work all day. And somehow a piece of junk from a movie a year ago is now worth millions of dollars.

No, It’s a Different Holtron

It’s also the Holtron that until recently was sitting around totally unused and forgotten in a random Westview High classroom, so I don’t see how it’s worth getting all worked up about. But of course like everything else to do with the Starbuck Jones movie, it’s the most awesome, mind-blowing thing ever, even though we have no idea why, since none of the actual movie was ever shown.

And what the hell?  Darin is apparently a computer programmer now?  And one so advanced he can reprogram a computer from the seventies to have internet connectivity and respond to voice command?  I’m amazed to be saying this, but apparently his talents are seriously wasted.  He got an MBA, works as an artist, and is an expert computer programmer?  I know he did the “pizza app” and all but just completely changing your characters on a whim for a “gag” like this is silly.

It’s super weird how Batiuk brought back Holtron and keeps using it regularly, when he has so many other unresolved plots and totally forgotten characters. I’d be shocked if there was anyone reading this strip who rejoiced when Holtron came back.
What’s totally typical for Batiuk is making what is apparently an Amazon Echo joke about five years after the Echo first came out, though.

It’s Funny Because They Think They’re Rock Stars

Aw, isn’t that sweet, the comic book creators are helping the comic book store owner out with something comic book related going on at his comic book store! Who would have seen that coming? And what a refreshing change of pace for this strip to focus on comic books for a change.
Two things about this strip. It’s kind of funny how nobody in this strip calls or e-mails anybody for simple questions like this. I mean it’s obvious why not; if they did then Batiuk wouldn’t be able to stretch crap like this into multi-week arcs. I also think it’s kind of funny how neither Pete nor Darrin have to check with their boss or with family to see if they have any scheduling conflicts. Comic books always take priority after all.

Someone Sure Likes Drawing Bricks

I know it’s not exactly a huge company, but I’m still kind of shocked that someone can just walk in off the street totally unannounced right into where Pete and Darrin work. Now why couldn’t that have been what the epic gun violence storyline was about?
Pete’s face in the second panel is absolutely hideous. Is there any point in yelling like that? I’m pretty sure everyone is in one room, except maybe Chester who isn’t too far away.
I’m also pretty sure that Batiuk had Pete and Darrin bowing to someone and saying they were unworthy really recently. Wasn’t funny then, not funny now. Also, if there’s a giant Atomik Komix sign on the outside of the building, why is there one on the inside?

Raider With the Pinned-Up Sleeve

I know one way the school can save money. If you’re having a guy who’s been retired for over a decade come in and do a significant part of your job for you because you’re too busy with other stuff to do it, then you probably shouldn’t have that job anymore.
So, Becky is so busy trying to steal money designated for the football team that she can’t oversee practices? What is she doing in that time? Emailing the school board? While she’s actually on the clock for her job? That seems bad.
Dinkle commenting about returning to band land is one of the funniest things in this strip in years. He has never left. He has no life outside of band. Near as I can tell he spends every day lurking behind Becky. And the only times he’s not doing that he’s writing biographies about band.
For a guy who went pretty much deaf long ago, being able to differentiate between “raising” and “raiding” is pretty damn impressive. Far, far less impressive is the fact that the “band room” is crappily taped to the inside of the door. Rather than the outside where it would actually do any good.