Plaintive Pale

The wavy bordered third panels continue in today’s strip, and they surely must be representing a dream, because what is happening is practically impossible.

According to the official Hollywood Sign website’s helpfully-titled “Why Can’t I Hike To The Sign” page:

Question: How can I hike to the Sign?

Answer: You can’t.

Why? It’s against the law. There is fire danger and your personal safety is at risk.

Additionally,

In the early years of the Sign, it was possible to climb to the Sign, though it was just as dangerous and inadvisable a trip then as it would be now. Even if you had the stamina to ascend the steep, slippery slope without falling, you could still fall victim to a lurking rattlesnake, be scratched by the rough brush, or be menaced by a mountain lion.

Also,

The security system for the Sign was developed in concert with city officials, police and fire authorities, park rangers, and the Department of Homeland Security, and it includes the following features:

• A tall perimeter fence with razor wire
• 24 hour electronic surveillance by City of Los Angeles authorities
• Infrared lights and cameras that can see equally as well in the day and on a moonless night
• Monitoring microphones and bullhorns
• Web cameras
• Motion sensors
• Regular patrol visits by city police and park ranger helicopters

Rigorous Enforcement, 24x7x365

Walking into the protected Sign area is trespassing and violators will be cited by police. Anyone who makes an attempt to do so will be buzzed by a park helicopter, ordered off the slope through the bullhorns, and find a police cruiser waiting for them at the bottom of the slope.

So, this is not reality we are seeing, nor is it within 1/4″ of an inch, not by any reasonable conclusion. Unless… Marianne is a ninja.

Well, no wonder people are threatening her.

Ho Ho Ho

So it took until today’s strip for anyone to think about contacting Marianne?

I guess that is consistent with last week, when Mr. Director waited until Mason showed up at the lot to dress him down for his excursion to Marianne’s mom’s abode. We see today that he has a phone, so obviously that wasn’t stopping him from calling Mason last week, or Marianne anytime between last week and now. Must not be a talker… or he knows Mason screens and ignores his calls (which makes some sense, Mason makes all the decisions on this lot, after all). Marianne apparently does the same.

I consider myself fairly fluent in comic strip language, but am quite unsure as to what exactly panel 3’s wavy-border is supposed to signify. As I am sure most all of you know, wavy panel borders typically mean that what we are seeing is a dream/daydream, hallucination, or flashback. However, Marianne’s trip to the Hollywood sign began in an un-wavy panel (and also in color, for… reasons?) back on Sunday. I guess it is not unfair to assume that Marianne’s scenes are supposed to actually be occurring but in a surreal state, but it comes across more like the wavy panel border is being used to signal a change in setting. This is really awkward. Nice shot of the “HO” sign, though.

Technicolor Difficulties

TFH, you are a tough act to follow, I stand in line… and apparently it is my turn. Hello folks, billytheskink here to do my level best as I take you through Christmas. Remember, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, no matter what Funky Winkerbean has in store for us.

The world’s gone grayscale in today’s strip.  What could this mean?

Tonal shift?  Dream sequence?  Reference to comic book or film that no one under the age of 83 remembers?  That the syndicate colorist up and quit, their conscience finally getting the best of them?  So many possibilities, but we will probably never know the true story.

Meanwhile, things are happening:
– Mason has psychoanalyzed the internet.
– Cindy thinks a movie set is the perfect place to break out her little black dress.
– The tablet that Mr. Director was thrusting at Mason last week has morphed into a laptop.
– The Starbuck Jones crew has made sure to properly light today’s trio as they crowd around their Pineapple Abacaxibook.
– We learn that Marianne owns a 1991 Mercury Capri convertible.

Dullholland Drive

Charles
December 10, 2016 at 6:04 am
Well, I thought it before, but this makes it abundantly clear. Marianne, the beautiful, successful and deeply desired actress was intentionally drawn to look like Summer Moore. Put a hoodie on her and no one would be able to tell the difference.

Your wish has been granted! Anyone lucky enough to have not read FW since late January, when we last saw Summer, would look at yesterday’s and today’s strip and suppose that dark haired gal to be Summer Moore (and “Mom” to be Cayla, having at last turned completely Caucasian).

Batiuk attempts another punny headline, either unaware of or ignoring the more common usage of the slang term “mooning.” Unless we’re to believe that it’s Summer, I mean, Ms. Winters, who misunderstands the context and thinks she’s been accused of flashing her ass at Mason.

Well gang, I’ve survived my fortnight at the SoSF desk, and I’m more than delighted to turn things over to billytheskink! If you’re in New York City this afternoon (Sunday) around three, I’ll be among the 500 tuba, euphonium, sousaphone, and baritone players taking part in the 43rd Annual Tubachristmas at Rockefeller Center (pregame at the Pig ‘n’ Whistle on W. 48th).

Happy Holidays and a Funky New Year, everyone!
From Son of Stuck Funky and TFH.

Well, That De-escalated Quickly!

Sorry, snarkers: the catfight between Cindy and Marianne will not be televised, or uh, comic-strip-tized, uh…we don’t get to see it. It doesn’t happen, apparently, because Mason’s explained to Cindy that it’s not as it seems, and very quickly and convincingly, too. This plotline has become a complete shit show, even by Batiuk’s nonexistent standards. He spends months setting up this conflict between Cindy and Marianne, brings it to a climax in the most contrived way, and then Mason explains it all away and Cindy buys it…offscreen. The paternalistic Director Guy chimes in: “Hey! Hold it down, kids. Don’t get excited! (Who’s excited?) We’ve already put out a corrected story.” Who’s “we“? Don’t “corrected stories” come from the source of the incorrect story? Is he talking about their publicist? “We” have no idea. Nor have we any idea why that massive-headed freak in panel 3—we’ll have to assume it’s Marianne in a “wife beater” undershirt—is just now seeing and is completely aghast at the “DMZ” story.