Thursday, December 10

Today’s strip was not available for preview. This is kinda like getting a Christmas present from that relative who always gets you socks… if those socks were also made of broken glass.

Speaking of that relative, you still have time to get them a truly meaningful gift. For the third consecutive year, this TB-signed letter from the future world of 2990 is for sale on eBay. A great collectors item for the true Funkyfan in your family, especially if their name is Andrew and you hate them. Act now to get that 10% discount, it’s a real bargain at under $540!

Blackburn Ordinances

Today’s strip is a serious reach. I mean, given that this is a band Holiday Concert I assume this is all instrumental, can’t Lefty just alter the program to say “The Christmas Song”, as us beady-eyed nitpickers (and everyone who bought a Christmas record ever) know to be the true title of “Chestnuts Roasting”?

Not that I expected this gag to match some absurd reality in Ohio, but for what it is worth, the Ohio EPA’s open burning regulations allow for “barbeques, campfires, and cookouts” provided these conditions are met:
– Wood stack no larger than 2 ft. high x 3 ft. wide.
– Use clean, seasoned firewood or equivalent.

Nothing that would prevent roasting chestnuts, of course. Also, big kudos to the Ohio EPA for titling their pamphlet on how your local fire department needs to be involved should you decide to raze a structure you own using fire “Burning Down the House: How Your Fire Department Can Do it Properly”.

Discr-hymn-ination

Mild-mannered principal Nate springs out of character in today’s strip and demands that Lefty remove “Faith Of Our Fathers” from the Holiday Concert program.

Yeah, yeah, seen it before. Public school has to alter Christmas performance, removing an explicitly Christian song or statement in order to maintain an apparent separation of church and sta- WHOA! Nate has an entirely different reason for wanting “Faith Of Our Fathers” removed from the program? Oh ho ho, Tom, you got me. You got me good. I was totally thinking the one thing and then, BAM! Never saw this “mothers” thing coming.

It’s a classic bait-and-switch, like when the table of contents of my newspaper says the comics are on page E6, and I turn to E6 and find Funky Winkerbean.

“Faith Of Our Fathers”, by the way, is a hymn written about/in memory of English Catholic martyrs of the Reformation period. When TB picks a theme, by gum, he sticks with it.

Natepicking

We’re exactly two weeks away from the “Holiday Concert” teased in Today’s strip. Wait, it’s not just teased, like February’s “Winter Concert” was, it’s actually relevant to the strip that it is in! Crazy!  This is, perhaps, the Westview High School Scapegoat Sign’s first relevant appearance since Act II.

Typically level-headed (for the Batiukverse anyways) and hands-off principal Nate Green decides his first principal-y action since reading the student handbook before the 2012 prom will be to meddle in the concert Lefty’s band has surely been rehearsing for at least a month.

Hmmm… A holiday performance? A public school official? Changes demanded? I wonder what topic TB could have possibly chosen to cram into his gag cannon this week? I wonder… but I cannot blame you if you don’t.

Bland Control To Major Dull

Link To Today’s Action

And today it’s a very special cameo from no one’s favorite FW character, Jim Klabichnik, Science Guy. Hey, at least it isn’t Les. It’s a long, long way to go for a gag maybe a dozen people will see and maybe half of them will get, but then again I usually tend to vastly overstate these numbers. We also see that Westview is ALREADY in the grip of near-whiteout blizzard conditions, as there aren’t any sunny winter days in Olde Westview Towne. It’s gonna be a long winter, folks.

And this marks the end of my latest hosting stint, thanks to all for the superlative snark! Stay tuned for our resident Funk-storian, billytheskink as he guides us through whatever the hell Nate’s up to this week….enjoy!