A Harry Little Christmas

Today’s strip, and this whole past week really, is brought to you by the letter Y.

As in why did this happen? Why are so many things explosively offensive in Westview? Why did no one at the syndicate read this before allowing it to be printed? Why did TB decide that Nate should suddenly become Carl Moss, except without the humor or incisive commentary on modern American public school administration? Why is there not even an attempt at a punchline in today’s strip? Why are there so few notes in the opening of “I’m Dreaming Of A Rainbow Holiday”? Why is the allegedly retired Harry Dinkle at the high school? Why hasn’t Lefty changed the locks to the band room? Why, if all music is sacred to Harry, do attempts to censor it not bother him? Why would I rather listen to an Elmo and Patsy record for 24 consecutive hours than continue asking “why” questions about this comic strip?

Haiku-ly Offensive

Today’s strip is same
Joke as rest of this week’s strips
What did you expect?

“Merry Gentlemen”
Not offensive to Batiuk
Workaholic? Ha!

Depressive also
Not offensive to Batiuk
It is his trademark

Nate’s “war on Christmas”
As long as Six Day War but
There are no winners

What will Sunday bring?
I’m on sleeve pins and needles
I know you are too

Boondock Nates

Hey, did you like this joke on Tuesday? How about Wednesday? Thursday? Today is the fourth verse, same as the first. I swear that today’s strip is properly linked, and that you aren’t looking at one of the earlier strips from this week. “Seriously?” Lefty asks? Seriously Mrs. Howard, seriously.

A more valid concern about “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” for Nate is that Pa Winkerbean might start singing it during the performance. OK, that’s not really fair of me, because at this point I’d welcome that happening in any of this week’s strips.  Anything to break this up, even a joke TB obviously repurposed from a Crankshaft draft.

You know, I just saw this strip in the dictionary next to “slog”. Whoever’s footprints those are in the snow in panel 2, headed away from this den of insipidity… I envy you. I truly do.

Thursday, December 10

Today’s strip was not available for preview. This is kinda like getting a Christmas present from that relative who always gets you socks… if those socks were also made of broken glass.

Speaking of that relative, you still have time to get them a truly meaningful gift. For the third consecutive year, this TB-signed letter from the future world of 2990 is for sale on eBay. A great collectors item for the true Funkyfan in your family, especially if their name is Andrew and you hate them. Act now to get that 10% discount, it’s a real bargain at under $540!

Blackburn Ordinances

Today’s strip is a serious reach. I mean, given that this is a band Holiday Concert I assume this is all instrumental, can’t Lefty just alter the program to say “The Christmas Song”, as us beady-eyed nitpickers (and everyone who bought a Christmas record ever) know to be the true title of “Chestnuts Roasting”?

Not that I expected this gag to match some absurd reality in Ohio, but for what it is worth, the Ohio EPA’s open burning regulations allow for “barbeques, campfires, and cookouts” provided these conditions are met:
– Wood stack no larger than 2 ft. high x 3 ft. wide.
– Use clean, seasoned firewood or equivalent.

Nothing that would prevent roasting chestnuts, of course. Also, big kudos to the Ohio EPA for titling their pamphlet on how your local fire department needs to be involved should you decide to raze a structure you own using fire “Burning Down the House: How Your Fire Department Can Do it Properly”.