Tag: football

Workin’ in a Goal Mine

beckoningchasm
September 11, 2018 at 10:45 pm
Pretty sure that third guy is supposed to be Funky. Because, who the hell cares.

Batiuk sure doesn’t, and I guess you’re right: Big Walnut Buck wouldn’t refer to the ‘Goats as “our team.” When have we ever seen Funky this fired up over a football game? Over anything? He’s sporting the same maniacal expression we saw on Bull’s face as he was leaving Jerome T. Bushka A&L Automotive Stadium Scapegoat Field last week.

If “our” running back has surpassed Bull’s record by 99 yards then he already has a hundred-yard game; a 142-yard game to be precise. Sophomoric Bull can barely watch, while Sophomoric Linda just keeps getting hotter.

Everything’s Broken

billytheskink
September 3, 2018 at 1:53 am
Why wouldn’t Bull want to go to the game? Why hasn’t he been going to games ever since he retired? He’s a legend as both player and coach at Westview. They named the stadium after him…

Add this to the list of things that billytheskink remembered and Batiuk forgot, and to the litany of indignities heaped upon Bull this week. Maybe Principal Nate just told Bull they were renaming the stadium in his honor, figuring he’d forget about it too. Judging from Bull’s deranged facial expression, his mind’s just about gone. At least Batiuk saved the one decent “broken record” play on words until late in the week, though it’s delivered as an irritable rebuke from long-suffering Linda.

Advise-a-Bull

One of the perks of being a retired Westview faculty member, I guess, is unfettered access to all areas of the campus. You’d think that an athlete who’s just set a new team record might be surrounded by teammates and well-wishers, but here’s #31 just sitting alone at his locker, still in uniform, savoring his accomplishment until Bull can manage to make his way down from the cheap seats.

“Have you got any advice for me?” Sure!

“Don’t take up tennis! You’ll need to buy two rackets!”

“Don’t take up jogging! You’ll keep running into Funky and Les!”

“Better get started on the Rogaine, your hairline’s receding almost as much as mine!”

 

Impermanent Record

Today’s strip serves no purpose whatsoever aside from moving us one day closer to the end of this “story” arc, and to Funky’s 50th anniversary, and to Tom Batiuk’s retirement. Buck’s inane question receives an inane answer from Bull, and everyone smirks. I just can’t get over the fact that had Buck not invited the Bushkas, Bull would be sitting unawares in his basement instead of in the nosebleed seats as his decades-old rushing record is challenged.

Rush to Judgment

Mighty white of Linda to allow Bull out of the basement in order to witness his rushing record being surpassed. “Buck never knew” Bull held the record, and yet showed up at Bull’s house when it was on the verge of being broken. I guess whoever succeeded Bull as Westview High’s football coach and athletic director “never knew” or “didn’t care” enough to consider inviting the Bushkas to be present for this occasion. We know Buck’s been (inexplicably) diagnosed with chronic traumatic encephalopathy, but has he also suffered a stroke? In addition to his absent-mindedness regarding Bull’s record, he’s talking out of the right side of his mouth.