Funky – Page 118 – Son of Stuck Funky

What Should Be the New Default Caption for New Yorker Cartoons?

For posterity, I transcribe the Funky Winkerbean overlay that intrudes on today’s Starbuck Jones Cover, in which SJ himself seems to have awoken one day (perhaps after uneasy dreams) to find himself transformed into a drooling chimp:

Holly: This happens to be a key issue that kicks off the Xaxian-Krull war saga!

Funky: Sorry… I must have missed that while I was living in the real world.

Seth MacFarlane & I came up with an improvement for the chimp:

Funky is just being an arse—— to his wife, here. No bones about it. This is the guy who went back in time to admonish his teenage self to hang onto Starbuck Jones #1 for the world-shattering ambition of saving a suburban-Ohio pizza parlor. Not to mention that he was a kid, not in the real world, when this issue was putatively published. He should talk! No! He should shut the f—— up!

Also, a tip of the poison pen to Batominc for crapping all over the guest artist’s work with FW’s inexplicably bitter comment.

Christ! What a Funky Winkerbean!

Update: I couldn’t read the credit in the scan, but TFH has identified the guest artist as Terry Austin.

Une Semaine De Bonte

Link To Today’s Strip

I would like to offer my sincere thanks to Tom Batiuk for this week. I really appreciate the attempt at humor, and while the strip never really rose above the level of, say, Blondie or Beetle Bailey (other than Thursday’s ultra-goofosity), it was miles above what the strip usually offers. This week was like a vacation.

Those of you who aren’t guest hosts…count your blessings. A guest host never knows from one day to the next what is being served up. Will it be something with one of the many hateful characters? Will it just be lame? Will it be mind-numbingly boring? Remember–you’re the host, you have to have something to say!

Here’s something I’d like to say. I never approach Funky Winkerbean with the attitude of Well, let’s see what can I hate on today. No, despite how poorly made the strip tends to be, I always hope that it will somehow be good, at least today. Because there are enough poorly-made, dull things in this world, and if something rises above that, then [insert Hallmark-worthy phrase here].

So, yeah, sometimes I will overpraise something that’s just mediocre, because I think that mediocre is at least a step up from terrible.

Take today’s offering. Previously in the week, a guy set out to achieve a goal, and through hard work and persistence, actually did so. That’s rare enough in the Funkyverse–what’s even rarer is what today’s strip shows: Funky Winkerbean saying, in effect, “Hey, let’s enjoy life.” When was the last time that happened? I can’t remember.

That, my friends, is a hell of a lot better than what we usually get. This strip typically takes the notion that “genius” requires no effort or talent (Les Moore’s entire life-story) or that those who are deemed “worthy” (criminal-in-training Cory) should have others (Holly) slavishly work on their behalf–without, of course, expending any energy at all, other than to say “I want.”

Today’s episode, though, says…you’ve worked for it. You’ve sweated over it. And you made it.

Enjoy it.

In this comic strip, that’s praiseworthy.

Besides, we should all be glad there’s not a fourth panel, where Funky says “I think I can get us a good table at a place I know called Montoni’s!” That would be double-secret barf-bag-worthy. I’m kind of shocked today’s strip didn’t end that way. Sometimes, it’s the things held back that make the biggest difference.

Sunday could bring all this crashing down, of course. While my thanks to Tom Batiuk are sincere, that doesn’t mean my eyes are closed.

See you tomorrow night!

The Eternal Question

Link To Today’s Strip

Yes, whenever one is advised You need to start exercising or You need to change your diet, the question is always, “Okay, but when can I stop?”

I guess it’s akin to You need to put jokes in your comic strip about young adults. “Okay, but when can I stop?”

Today’s offering is nowhere near as good as those earlier in the week, but there is one positive aspect I’d like to point out. It’s this:

You’re probably thinking that there doesn’t seem to be anything remarkable about it…and I agree. It’s what isn’t there that’s interesting. Think how easy it would be to turn that panel into this:

It took me about a minute (which is why it’s so shoddy). Tom Batiuk has been doing stuff like this for ten years or so; it’d have been easy for him to toss out something like that. Really easy.

Something to ponder on–something to stay the hand when it reaches out innocently for the whitened pebble, the veined stone, the dead, unmoving rocks of our planet.

Under Pressure

Link To Today’s Strip

Well, if you’ll recall my baseball talk from yesterday, I think we’ve got another single. It’s funny, goofy in a non-realistic way (wouldn’t a blood-pressure band around the neck kind of kill Funky?), and I do get a kick out of the last panel–Funky’s strangled panic combined with Nurse Greenhair looking at us like, “If it’s not one thing, it’s another.” Maybe it’s a double. I really do enjoy that last panel.

So…it’s a good strip, it continues in this week’s surprising “humorous” vein, and it is to be applauded for that reason. It’s just not the topper to the run. (“Topper”? OMG, I’m starting to use Funky Winkerbean terms without even noticing!)

And I have to complain about two things–Nurse Greenhair, for one. At first I thought, “When did Trainer Greenhair find time to get a haircut? She was just pouring oil on Funky’s treadmill not two minutes ago!” I know that Tom Batiuk couldn’t use blue hair, because Superman, but maybe red? Purple? Burnt Sienna? Raw Umber?

Secondly, Mr. Batiuk, when sending out a casting call, you need to emphasize that the actors need to resemble the character. Hiring Jimmy Durante for panel one was not a good idea.

Still, this is another funny one, as far as I’m concerned. Bravo!

Cue “Yakety Sax”

Link To Today’s Strip

Seriously, doesn’t that second panel conjure up images of Benny Hill racing around in fast motion? (Here’s a more appropriate one.) I hereby nominate it for the prestigious BChasm Award for “Funniest Thing I’ve seen in this Comic Strip in Living Memory.” Remember, though–it’s only a nomination.

My (minor) quibble with this one is the word “challenging.” I think what Funky means is “interesting,” or “engaging,” since clock-watching and falling asleep aren’t making the exercise routine more tolerable. “Challenging” would typically mean to a trainer, “harder, more difficult.” Which she has dutifully achieved for him, ha ha ha. I’ll hazard a guess that Tom Batiuk thought “interesting” would be too belittling to the exercise folks, but still–hey, if I can’t find something to pick at, I’m out of a job!

Anyway: the third surprise single from Tom Batiuk means that the bases are now loaded. What will happen tomorrow? Will we get another single, or a foul ball that hurls into the stands and knocks the hotdog out of Sluggo’s hands? Or a genuine grand slam home-run?

Wow. I’m actually looking forward to reading Funky Winkerbean. And they say there are no miracles.