Tag: Harry Dinkle

Killing Ed Softly With Baton

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Few people remember how this legendary Act II arc ended up playing out. Dinkle did indeed stab Crankshaft, causing the bus to plunge into one of Ohio’s many ravines. A guilt stricken Dinkle rendered first aid to Crankshaft who managed to survive, but the entire band died of exposure while awaiting rescue. In one of the strip’s most harrowing twenty-two week sequences, Harry and Crankshaft resorted to cannibalism to survive long enough for Les and Lisa to rescue them.  Some of TB’s most chilling (pun intended) work.

The fact that Dinkle is the one reciting this retconned story makes it pretty creepy if you ask me. He’s flat-out admitting that he once threatened to kill a school bus driver for refusing to drive children through unsafe conditions. While that sort of thing was considered hilarious back in 1976, now it’d probably result in that weirdo Dinkle being banned from the school for life, at least. And he’s telling this story to a woman who lost her arm in a car crash, no less. Surprisingly tone-deaf stuff from a guy so in tune with the issues facing young people today and (zzzzzzzz).

*(ZZZZ)

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Wow, what a listless outing. It’s hard to believe there’s an entire comic strip devoted to this grating, annoying and unfunny moron (Crankshaft, to be clear), but the mysteries of comic strip syndication are lost on me, so there you go. I’d also like to know how BanTom defines “a certain age” because his “Captain Video” gag* is totally lost on me too. A tad before my time, as they say, and I’m guessing yours as well. Way to pander to the prized “over-85” demographic. At least he didn’t reference an old comic book this time, thank God. **

* It’s bad enough when you have to explain the joke, but when you have to explain the acronym that explains the joke you MIGHT be better served by just starting over from the beginning. In cases like this, the wastebasket is the comic strip author’s friend.

** Also, f*ck Les Moore. It just needed to be said.

This. Weak.

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What could be worse than another Dinkle band convention arc? Ordinarily the acceptable answers would be “Les” or “nothing”, but today BanTom has a wild card up his sleeve in the form of that stupid f*cking bus-driving asshole Crankshaft, once again in retcon form. He JUST DID one of these horrible Crankshaft retcon jobs and it’s WAY too soon for another one now. I really hate Crankshaft and not in a fun “I can’t believe this still exists” kind of way, but like I hate yellow jackets at picnics and garbage juice dripping from the bottom of a full trash bag and pus seeping from an open wound. I try to encounter it as little as possible and when I accidentally stumble across it I’m instantly disgusted.  I’m never going to read it so stop trying to make me, OK? Nice “punchline” too, by the way.

As far as Becky goes, the sleeve is doing all the talking for her today. I told you, he never, ever passes up a chance to draw that sleeve. The Arm…never forget. Poor poor Becky, definitely one of the strip’s more downtrodden characters. She doesn’t really like her job, she’s married to a comic book store owner and she’s still always being overshadowed by Dinkle and his interminable stories. Plus there’s her mother, Wally and the arm thing too. She can’t even really smirk correctly either. It’s really quite a brutal legacy.

Fine And Hand-y

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Hand-y…LOL. She’ll probably have an arm-y of supporters there, too. Perhaps the band could do a rendition of “Greensleeve” at the convention. So it turns out that this convention will indeed be held in Cleveland, which I guess is huge exciting news for the three Ohio music educators this strip and Harry’s woeful “joke” are aimed at. As for the rest of us, I think I’m speaking for at least some of us when I say we’d almost PREFER going back to the Mason Jarr arc than having to slog through a week’s worth of Dinkle’s incessant cackling and tiresome bullshit. I said almost, but still, that’s how much I despise New Old Dinkle and his idiotic “band director for life” routine.

I almost missed it but look carefully through the glass in panel one and you’ll see it. BanTom NEVER lets a Becky appearance go by without reminding the reader that she only has one arm. See it there, all pinned-up and missing? The Arm…never forget. I will, however, do my best to forget that can opener-like schozz Harry is sporting in that horrific panel two profile shot, which is a wordless representation of everything I hate about Dinkle. Blech.

I’m All Ears

Link to today’s strip.

So, here’s Tom Batiuk’s actual “Black Friday” joke…if “joke” is the right word.  Selling books instead of turkeys is hilarious?  In both cases, the terrible odor from the unsold items would be intolerable as they fester.

Note that with a little change of tense (“didn’t have” for “don’t have”) he could have run this on Saturday and had something a little more traditionally holidelic on Thanksgiving, but when you’re giving Harry Dinkle a soapbox, well…priorities, baby, priorities.  Thanksgiving Day comes and Thanksgiving Day goes, but Harry Dinkle is interminable.

Whenever Harry Dinkle appears, you can be sure the boredom will come thick and fast.  He basically short-circuits his own content by being so utterly obnoxious that he’s his own heckler.   If you ask him what time it is he’ll give you some insufferable response that boils down to “find a clock somewhere after I finish regaling you with irrelevance.”  Actually, the only question I can imagine asking Harry Dinkle is, “Do you want me to punch you again?”

What’s really striking in today’s episode is Becky’s left ear.  Look at that thing–has her face been torn open at the back?  (We can always hope so!)  I cannot imagine how, with her face positioned the way it is, that her left ear should be visible at all.   Once again, I am guessing that Tom Batiuk had a bit of gold ink on the brush and didn’t want to waste it, and that meant drawing an ear to hold that earring.

In a strip drawn as badly and as lazily as this one, Tom Batiuk at least manages to draw his avatars–Les Moore, John Howard and of course Harry Dinkle–with a loving consistency.  The other characters not so much, but this…this is kind of a landmark.