Les – Page 111 – Son of Stuck Funky

Memorial Day

Memorial Day is the holiday wherein we remember those who gave all so that we might be free. In Westview, however, Memorial Day is when you remember when you were in high school. For a strip that prides itself on “contemporary issues,” Tom Batiuk sure seems mired in nostalgia.

Last week, we had Detestable Dinkle; we’ve now been handed Loathsome Les. Talk about a one-two punch–the only thing that could make this worse is if was Dinkle himself handing over the box. “The missus and I thought you could use these marital aids; we’ve worn these out, but don’t want to throw them away.”

And of all the storylines that Mr. Batiuk has juggling, he figures the one we’re most anxious to get to is this high school reunion thing. As I’ve said before, I cannot for the life of me imagine why they bother having a reunion–every member (still living) who graduated from that class sees every other member, every day. There’s not a lot of catching up to do. Now, if the actual reunion appears and we see folks all bored, sitting around and not talking, then I will salute Tom Batiuk for a joke well-played. I have a feeling that won’t happen, though. These sorts of things seem to be too vital to him–not a laughing matter, as it were, and another dull story to suffer through.

Granted, none of the other stories currently in mid-stride are interesting either–the band box is utterly trivial, and we know Pete as script doctor is going nowhere–but they at least contain the possibility that a new location, or a new character, or new anything might happen along. Instead, we get badly-drawn Les (my only reaction to panel two is What the Hell?!). Anything involving Les is clouded by noxious fumes. At least he doesn’t say anything this time; he and Cayla are too involved in watching “Miffed Man” on television. Ding dong! Why, who could that be?

Who indeed!

People are strange, when you’re on Facebook

We’re in for another day of Les whining about his class reunion, so here’s today’s strip, or, “In which Facebook flummoxes the English teacher, tending towards his untimely demise,” because Les never met a responsibility that he didn’t flinch from.

Cayla magnanimously offers to “friend” Les. What this says about their relationship, I don’t even want to explore. I mean, what wife puts her husband in the friend zone? Let’s just say it’s been a long time since we saw that exterior view of the Moore residence in the rain, and leave it at that.

They’re not having sex, is what I’m saying.

The good news is that this storyline is being abruptly dropped, as is BanTom’s wont. At press time, I don’t know what Sunday will bring, but Monday will be a flash-cut to 25-year-old high-school juniors Owen & Cody. They will discuss the provenance of lunch.

Then there will be a Les/Funky road trip.

So, you know, abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

Montoni’s pizza is people! It’s people!

In today’s strip, a slouching, lumpy Les McHarris carries a Montoni’s Pizza box home for his long-suffering wife. The box is completely white, but for “Montoni’s” and “Pizza” inscribed only on the edges. It is otherwise unadorned.

In panel 1, a hungry, hungry Cayla Wrich greets her mate with bitter sarcasm. “Our ‘meals on wheels,’” she begins with ominous scare quotes, “took a while…” She pauses menacingly, like a sharp-pincered scorpion. Venom drips from her tail. “I expected you sooner.”

“I tried calling and texting you to see what was holding you up,” she does not add, because that would interfere with the narrative, which involves characters behaving unlike any actual human.

“I got hung,” panel 2 has Les beginning succinctly, “up while I was in the process of agreeing to take over the chairmanship of my high school class reunion celebration event,” he continues, goes on, and says at length.

The final panel would have been better had Cayla stabbed Les with her foot-long stinger, cutting him apart with her claws, and devouring him. Instead, we get the punchline.

“Surely, you’re joking, Mr. Munyon.”

“Do you see me laughing?”

Do you see the readers laughing?

Quid Amateur Quo

Less than a week ago I marveled at how Batiuk had engineered a Hollywood screenwriting opportunity for recently fired comic book writer Pete. Today’s strip has me marveling at how wrong I was.

Charles
April 19, 2015 at 8:47 pm
…The suggested storyline is so absurd it’s insulting. The producers aren’t going to go to the lead actor to get recommendations for script doctors…and in the extreme situation where they do so, they’re not going to accept the suggestion when it turns out to be a rank amateur who just got his ass fired from a crappy comic book company.

Charles, I’ll go ya a couple better: how about an even more rank amateur, who, after dragging out the process of writing the screenplay (which he insisted on doing), decides it’s too much work and walks away, sinking the project while still getting paid? On the recommendation of the star’s new girlfriend?

Married to the Slob

“I was married to him and he never saw me blush.”

“[T]he most responsible one in our class”? Sure, back in high school Les demonstrated enough responsibility to man a machine gun and sell milk. As an adult? He’s been “responsible” for quietly standing by while Susan threw herself under the bus, annoying his fellow Kilimanjaro climbers, and of course torpedoing the movie that was based upon his book.