poorly taped signs – Page 6 – Son of Stuck Funky

Papers, Please.

It’s an Act I-style high school gag, and not too bad in it’s own inoffensive aw-shucks kind of way. Notice that the intern must be drawing Alex again today because she’s back to being a chubby goth cutie instead of the horrific middle-aged fat nun who regularly graces the dailies.

I am sorta dreading the reappearance of Professor Shlabotnick or whatever the hell name Bats gives Mark Twain there. Seems we just got done with a week of crappy jokes from our old paisan’ Tony – I’m not up for a series of gags that were rejected by Henny Youngman for being too stupid.

So Does “Listless Pile Of Crap”

Link To Today’s Strip

Again, we see yet another Westviewian completely stripped of all free will and miserably going through the motions as if there’s simply no other way. Which kind of sums up FW’s entire run rather perfectly when you think about it. It’s almost impossible to believe that he’s somehow grinding an entire week out of this pitiful premise, yet here we are. And now he’s so desperate for content he’s resorting to using CODY to deliver his painfully bad class ring gags. He really needs to get out more and expand upon this “whatever happens to fall within my field of vision at any given time” approach he has to dreaming up these premises of his.

Band on the Run

Link to today’s strip.

And now you see why Tom Batiuk had to have two Black Friday jokes, one with his beloved Dinkle. Because he thought of a stupid pun.

Since this is a Saturday strip, I’m going to assume–and yeah, I really need to stop doing that–that this is a one-off, and won’t be continued on Sunday or next week. (But consider how lucky we are. Today’s episode could easily have been turned into a Sunday strip. Be thankful for small favors.)

Aside from John’s needlessly complicated question in panel one, and his totally unneeded response in panel two, the most remarkable thing in today’s strip is that little sign pointing to John’s head that says “Cashier.” It’s like one of those things in the old, old Dick Tracy strips which pointed out the “two-way wrist TV” and other crime-fighting tools. I’m guessing it’s a portent of the Komix Korner’s fate and John’s next career. (Can you imagine having John Howard as your cashier? Based on how he “runs” the Korner, he’d probably sneer at the customers who didn’t order extra peperoni. “Enjoy your weak pizza, loser? [Ding] Twenty-nine fifty-two. Oh and don’t forget to tip generously. Come again!”)

Other than that, this strip just sets up John–one of the “hero” characters and an obvious stand-in for Tom Batiuk–as a moronic dim-bulb. (Remember how I said yesterday that John is always drawn with care? Oops. Panel one, with John’s melty face, is having none of that. That darn Tom Batiuk is making me look bad again!)

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah–Funky is clearly making a joke–his panel two expression is either “telling a joke” or “having a stroke”–and John wearily responds as if he’s being told the real deal. “So, those tiny homunculi decided to call it quits? Was it drugs, or jealousy over groupies, or did they decide ‘the road’ was no kind of lifestyle for men with families? Also…do you think they’ll try to make a comeback after a couple of years? I miss them already!”

Nice sign haphazardly taped to the door, too. (For the life of me, I cannot imagine what it says. “Closed–Batman obsessed weirdos only”?) But its random, off-kilter nature pretty much says it all–if there’s one word that Funky Winkerbean brings to mind, it’s kraftsmanship!

When Harry Met My Fist

I’m far from Miss Manners here but it’s gotta be in poor form to unload your woe-is-me tale on someone that’s actually losing something, including possibly his finances, house, marriage, kid’s college fund, who knows what else. It’s like telling your neighbor that you’re sorry that huge oak tree fell on his house; it was a nice tree for birds to hang out on and sing.

And with that uninspired observation, I turn the rest of the week’s snarking back to the master, TFHackett! Thanks for the opportunity to try and dredge some chuckles out of this bleak week!

Unlike

It was like Facebook but in the real world? Has Tom B ever been to Facebook? Unless Crazy’s idea of chatting up the staff or other customers included begging them to join his mafia or showing random strangers pictures of his neice, I doubt it was much like Facebook.

I wonder if the real Village Booksmith sells DVDs or CDs, or just old back issues of Readers’s Digest. Either way, getting accosted by my weird mailman at a bookstore would be enough to drive me away, or go nuclear on his butt.

Crazy Harry: “So what book did ya get?”

Me: “The joys of animal sex! I’ve always heard about it and was kind of curious. Lots of horse stuff in it. I’m more of a marsupial man myself but kangaroos are hard to come by in Ohio…”