technology – Page 18 – Son of Stuck Funky

Candid Crap-ola

Ahhh-haaa! I knew Owen was up to something with the way he was holding that phone all suspiciously the other day. Now he has all the evidence Principal Nate needs to put a stop to the big Metamucil theft ring that’s plaguing WHS. These kids today and their regular bowel movements, I’ll tell you what. I just hope there’s something in the Big WHS Student Handbook about bullying being banned because if there isn’t, poor Owen is f*cked once Wedgemen discovers he filmed him without expressed written or verbal consent.

Coming tomorrow: Nate consults the Big WHS Student Handbook and discovers there’s no rule against using and/or stealing Metamucil (or any fiber-based supplements or laxatives) on school grounds. Nate angrily dismisses a confused (redundant, I know) Owen from his office, telling him he’s tired of this shit. After realizing it’s another awful Batom pun, everyone groans in disgust and vows to stop reading FW forever, only to read it again the next day.

A Little “Backed-Up”

Today’s strip

Congrats to those who selected “something really stupid” in yesterday’s poll! If you selected “non-prescription drugs”, yeah, you’re technically correct too, I suppose. If you selected “prescription drugs” I’m sorry but you lose. That kind of reckless drug abuse might fly over at Mary Worth or Dilbert or whatever, but recreational drug use has no place in this comic strip. It just has too much potential to be interesting.

I would have assumed that Imodium was the OTC drug of choice for the average Westviewian, given their typical all-Montoni’s diets, but I suppose all that unsanitarily-made pizza could indeed have….uh…the “opposite” effect, as they say. This will conclude any and all speculation re: Alex’s (or any other FW character for that matter) colonic issues. A disturbing mental image, to say the least. At least we know where Wedgeman will be for the next several hours, but how happy he may or may not be remains to be seen. On the plus side, if he’s also on the WHS wrestling team he shouldn’t have too much trouble making weight this week.

Coming tomorrow: the evil Wedgeman doesn’t stop at fiber, also shaking Alex down for her blood pressure monitor, her walker and her AARP prescription card as a befuddled Owen looks on stupidly as usual.

The Return of Jim

Today’s strip

TFH of course solved the great “Jim Mystery” of last week, but here at least is proof that Tom Batiuk hasn’t forgotten how to draw Jim Kablichnik. He, er, hasn’t drawn him very well–in panel two, it looks like he’s about to vomit up his mashed potatoes (which is I suppose a natural reaction when meeting Les), but he’s nonetheless recognizable as the ol’ chair-stealer we’ve come to know and, uh, recognize.

I guess the rhetorical question Jim refers to is not the one he himself posed, but the implication from Les that everyone believes Les to be an amazing incompetent who cannot master any skills beyond usually putting his pants on with the top at the correct end. For the record, I’d hardly call that a rhetorical question, more like a casual observation, but it does allow Les to raise his ire. So, job well done, Jim. You can leave now. I hear they’re hiring at Sprawl-Mart.

He has many, many pairs of trick pants.

Miss All-Smart-Pad

Today’s strip

I’d hoped yesterday’s strip was a one-shot, but it looks as if this week we’re going to watch Cayla instruct Les in how to use his new tablet. I predict one of the days, Les will show us his weary-face and say, “With paper and pencil, I never had to wait while ‘important updates’ were installed.”

Other than that, I don’t know what else to say about this strip. Whenever Les appears, Tom Batiuk seems to have taken every effort to iron out any possible items of interest, so that criticism becomes meaningless. Good luck to the rest of you!

At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul

Today’s strip

Hello everyone, BChasm back for week two of my guest-hosting stint, on what we in the guest-hosting-stint business like to call “hump day.” And let me first offer an apology for the promisingly lurid title of this post, which seems to portend things of interest happening in the strip. Ha ha, this is Funky Winkerbean, interesting things need not apply!

This entry’s title comes from a 1964 movie starring “Coffin Joe” that, in the true spirit of Westview, I’ve never actually seen. But it contains the word “midnight” so it also becomes my ~~clever~~ way of saying that, once again, a preview of today’s episode was not available before press time.

I don’t like leaving everything to the last minute, so in order to “get started” on content I don’t yet have, I thought, well, I’d better “get started” anyway. Writing about something without having material at hand, or doing any research? Where have we seen that before?

Once the actual content is available, I may add what I laughingly call “insights” to this post. Or maybe not! Should I be lucky enough to fall over dead, however, I’m providing some generic comments that will work no matter what Monday’s strip might contain.

Oh, that wacky Owen! Thank you for your service, Harry Dinkle. Yes, Funky, the weight of the world is certainly keenly felt. DSH John, you sure make history come alive! Get your sad on, Wally. Becky and Bull, yes, students today can be quite the problem! Watch out for the Lord of the Late, Pete! You, uh, sure like old things a lot, Crazy. Jessica and Darrin, um, die in a fire? Les, I’d like to throttle you senseless and then beat your corpse bloodless.

UPDATE: Well, as a joke, today’s isn’t too bad. It sure looks like Les wants to take an actual bite out of his Apple in that last panel.