The Coming Reunion – Page 3 – Son of Stuck Funky

‘Nuts to You, Westview

Memo to future Westview High School Reunion Committees: do not let Barry Balderman recommend a DJ.

Guest Page Turner Author
July 5, 2015 at 11:41 pm
…All the venues were booked, my ass! On a Sunday evening of a holiday weekend? !?!

I guess “holiday weekend class reunions” are a big thing in Westview, as are poorly structured DJ contracts. Anyone who calls themselves professional, “state of the ark” equipment or not, would surely risk legal action and terrible word-of-mouth for such shenanigans. But Les and company’s anger is directed not at the DJ but at the school that lured him away.

Gym Jam

The red and blue balloons (though the school colors are red and white) have been filled, and the kraft paper and tempera paint banner has been haphazardly Scotch-taped to the folded up bleachers. Everything appears ready for the coming reunion. You’d expect Reunion Committee Chairman Les to be displaying his base-running, smugly satisfied smirk. But Les implies that the reunion planning has been fraught with problems. OK, well, his committee did forget to choose a venue, though this issue was easily resolved (albeit to the detriment of Westview’s basketball-loving youth). Les has overcome his lack of a Facebook page and a suitable high school portrait, and has managed to delegate the setting up of the Lisa shrine, yet he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. And here comes Barry Balderman to drop that shoe…

Bushkaball

My fellow bloggers out there are familiar with a WordPress feature called “post tags.” Adding tags to a post “aids in navigation and allows posts and to be grouped with others of similar content.” For example, you might notice the tags for today’s post are listed this post, just before the comments, like so:

It’s a fun and handy feature, and you can even display the tags in a “tag cloud” (on this page it’s in the right-hand sidebar, under the heading “Most Tagged.” The tag cloud displays your most-used tags, and renders them in larger or smaller font sizes depending how often they are used (note the size of “Les” and “Montoni’s“).

I mention this because I regret never having created a tag called “Last panel in which everyone exchanges puzzled expressions in response to what a main character has just said.” The problem, see, is that post tags should be succinct, and there’s really no way, short of an acronym, to shorten that description. And the “LPIWEEPEIRTWAMCHJS” tag would be used a lot: in pretty much every strip that’s set in Mr. Moore’s or Mr. Kablichnick’s or Mr. Dinkle’s classroom, for starters.

CL

Link to today’s strip, when it appears.

So, I asked recently if Les Moore has ever done anything, since his “chairmanship” of the Coming Reunion Committee seems to involve him handing his duties to other people. Apparently, the answer is “no,” since we now learn that the one job he had to do–find a location–was not done. In fact, I’m gathering it wasn’t even discussed.

Now, this is remarkably stupid, even for this comic strip. I’ve never planned a reunion, but I’d think one of the first items on the agenda would be to decide on a location, since everything else kinda depends on that. But Les didn’t think of that, and not one of the ninnies he was directing thought to ask. Wow.

So Les is a FAILURE at scouting and selecting a location, and he’s a FAILURE at heading the Coming Reunion committee. No wonder he doesn’t want to do anything, and moans when he has to. He’s a FAILURE at everything he does. He should have pointed this out to Cindy right from the start and saved them all the heartburn.

Speaking of heartburn, sigh, of course we know how this little episode will resolve itself–Funky will be gracious, and somewhere near the end of this week or the next, Funky will smugly proclaim, “We don’t call Montoni’s the Chapel of Reunions for nothing!” as the class of ’78 sits down to grease-laden pizza slices. There are times when the strip is bafflingly unpredictable, and other times when you can see the denouement coming from miles away.

Anyway, I just wanted to point out that this is my 150th post on this blog. (Hence the Latin numeral title.) Good grief (as another well-known blockhead was wont to exclaim). I’m not sure whether to celebrate or mourn, to be honest. One hundred and fifty? You blockhead!

As always, I thank you for your indulgence and your courtesy. Tomorrow, the incomparable Epicus Doomus takes over; be prepared to be entertained as he regales you with tales that witness madness…while I ponder, weak and weary, what my 151st post will bring, when next I resume the host’s chair. Until then…pleasant…dreams? Ha ha ha ha ha!

Dinner’s Surprising Reappearance

Link to today’s strip.

Okay, now yesterday I’m sure you were thinking, “BChasm says it’ll get worse. How can it possibly get any worse than this? It just isn’t possible.” Well, there you go selling Tom Batiuk short–a mistake you’ll probably think twice before committing again!

And here, today, we finally have it–the entire reason for The Coming Reunion. Once more bringing out Lisa’s battered corpse so that the whole enterprise can be The Les Moore Show, starring Les Moore, with Special Guest, Les Moore! “Hey, Les, enough catching up. Let’s talk about you and your feelings.”

This is truly nauseating. The space that the slogan occupies on the poster implies that only two people have died from Les’ class (leaving out the fact that Lisa apparently wasn’t in Les’ class). And so, let’s make sure that the proper one gets worshiped. Livinia must NOT grab any attention! I do like the little touch of Lisa herself helpfully pointing with her eyes just where the book should go, then beaming her approval at Mary Sue. And isn’t it nice that Livinia won’t distract from Lisa by having her own book all about ~~her~~ how her spouse suffered and moaned. Like the Highlander, there can be only one–even if that one went to a different high school, and graduated in a different year. Every occasion is an opportunity for Les worshiping Les (assisted by Lisa). But like the prior question repeatedly asked–why do they need to have a reunion, they see each other every day–there’s another question raised by today’s episode.

Why would Mary Sue Sweetwater need to leave a copy of “Lisa’s Story” for the “In Memoriam” display?

Everyone from Les’ class, as well as everyone else in town, already owns a copy. They know the story, they are completely aware of it at all times, and they have allowed it to become the dominant narrative in their own lives. Hey Bull, got turned down for that job? Well, I got it worse–“Hollywood.” “Oh, you’re right–Sacred Lisa was about to have her story commercialized. I’m so sorry for you, Les.”

The Coming Reunion story has now fully grown from a silly story about too much nostalgia into a really creepy episode of self-worship. (Hey, “Les Whipfors,” a new character.)

My mutant ability to see tomorrow’s Funky Winkerbean (worst X-Man power ever) ends at this point, so I have no idea if I should issue a warning about tomorrow or not…but considering the ride we’ve been on, I think it’s wise to be prepared.

By the way, if you want to see the full cover of “Murdering Les Moore for Dummies” it’s right here. Before you ask, yes, the fonts are off as it was adapted from a similar book made years ago. But hey, if Tom Batiuk can recycle things without a care, I guess I can too!