Let’s continue the litany, shall we?
with ten guests, or only seven;
with illness chronic or acute;
with thick crust or with thin;
with corners poppèd or unpopp’d;
if you will or if you won’t;
if you do or if you don’t;
da, da, da
ich lieb’ dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht,
aha
ich lieb’ dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht,
da, da, da
Looks like some of the guests have already bailed on this event, and I don’t find that ironic. Not at all.
Today’s strip begins with intimations of canine brontophobia. I doubt we’ll hear of it again.
I do predict that this plot line will involve these:
I did not expect these:
The only way this could have been better for snarking is if Buddy had been transformed into an anthropomorphic Plugger dog.
Either that, or Wally is inadvertently marrying the wrong bride, because her profile does not match before-time Rachel (below).
In today’s strip, a bitter Funky Winkerbean tries to crap all over cousunclin Wally’s wedding plans, because he’s a bitter man, old before his time, who wrecked his own marriage to Blonde Wife #1 with small ambition and cheap Montoni’s wine. It deserves none of our attention, except maybe to note that Wally’s first marriage ended because of two stints as a POW. Just saying—keep it classy, Tom Batiuk!
However, the phrase “bad Winkerbean vibes” did catch my eye. Vibe→Zeitgeist→this Google trends chart. Hey, it’s the way my mind works.
Also, no, Alanis, after all these years, it’s still not ironic.
Huge news today, as in panel one we see that Funky has apparently hired some really strange looking kid (Wally Jr. perhaps?) to help out around…oh, wait. LOL, that’s just supposed to be Wally. My mistake.
I’m trying to recall a time when “things” WEREN’T “tough” in Olde Westview town…and I’m drawing a complete zero. It has nothing to do with “this economy” or the “times” in which we currently live. No, the reason every business in town struggles mightily to eke out a meager unfulfilled existence is because Westview is a remorselessly sucking black void, a vortex of failure, pain, human misery and soul-murdering realizations followed by weary, listless acceptance and total surrender to whatever dismal fate “the universe” happens to have in store for you next. A “successful” business in Westview would blow the entire FW paradigm to complete shit, as it would mean there IS a flicker of light and hope in that twisted hellscape and, as we know, that isn’t going to happen.
Well, it took him a while but Batom finally has his fictitious little town exactly where he wants it to be: devoid of any businesses other than a pizzeria and a comic book store. Utopia realized, not a deli or a grown-up (as opposed to “adult”) bookstore anywhere in sight. Perhaps they can find an oncologist willing to move into Khan’s old space, but I suppose that might just be too on the nose, even for TB.
So, after completely and totally ignoring their old buddy Kahn for several years, they bid him adieu with some jaunty, obnoxious banter, just so he’ll have something to remember them by. What a couple of swell pals. I like how Wally’s little joke suggests that FW readers are familiar with Kahn’s (they called him Khan back then) sketchy past even though he only appears once every decade or so, as well as Funky once again establishing his “if you can’t say something witless just babble like a moron instead” philosophy that’s served him so well through the years. And credit where’s it’s due, I love the look on Kahn’s face, that bemused serenity….it’s almost like he’s planning something, know what I mean?
As far as I can remember, Kahn is the first character to be written-out of FW since Susan Smith was snidely dismissed maybe three or four years ago. Coach Stropp died, but that doesn’t count. One has to wonder why Batom Inc. felt compelled to eliminate a seldom-seen character like Kahn in such an “official” way. I mean would it have killed him to just keep him where he was, just to give the impression that Westview isn’t a complete ghost town? Was getting rid of Kahn necessary for the sake of an upcoming arc (Funky expands the business, Cory accidentally kills Kahn) or was it just random? And what was with that peculiar conversation yesterday about “inquiries” into the place? This reads like it’s a set-up for something, which probably means absolutely nothing is forthcoming. And the name thing (Khan/Kahn), it’s all just so freaking weird.
Son of Stuck Funky 