Tag: WHS

Sepia Water-Colored Loss Of Memories

Link to today’s strip

Dick Facey once again steals the show with his always-annoying presence. He looks more disgusted than concerned in panel three. He is impossible to draw in any way that isn’t completely objectionable. And I totally love how Bull’s scrapbook is helpfully labeled as “Bull’s Scrap Book”, just in case he forgets which, ironically enough, he apparently has! Amazing.

This is a rather baffling arc so far. I mean it’s a certainty that he’s find some completely insane way out of this than no normal person could have ever seen coming, that’s a given. I’d be very surprised if he wrote Bull out of the strip and I’d be equally surprised if the lovable hapless gym coach Bull suddenly became the hapless insane maniac who angrily stormed around forgetting things, as intriguing as that premise does seem. Imagine it, Bull suddenly thinks it’s 1980 and viciously beats Les to a bloody pulp, now THAT is promise. So rule that out.

Is it at all possible that Bull is just all annoyed about something else entirely and is just being badly misread by his wife? Like maybe she forgot their anniversary or something, I don’t know. Based on everything I know about FW I can say with some confidence that this is guaranteed to go nowhere, but how? Maybe it’ll turn out that he’ll “be fine” followed by a Bull-led crusade against concussions, that’s the most boring resolution I can come up with right off the top of my head.

Heavy Pedal Parking Lot

Link to today’s strip

What is this, the third wordless strip in a row? I haven’t seen anything like this since Darin had to open some mail. Today Bull is carelessly putting well over $100 worth of Batiukmobiles at risk as his inexplicable tantrum continues. As usual Bantom has confounded me by going off in a direction no sane person could have possibly seen coming. The clear highlight today is that “anger squiggle” over Bull’s head in panel one, which obviously indicates “anger”. Otherwise HOW WOULD WE KNOW???

While I’m still holding some hope that maybe we’re heading for a traffic fatality here or something, the likelihood of anything remotely entertaining happening here is dwindling by the second. No one takes longer to get to the “point” (so to speak) than BanTom does, every single thing simply must be dragged out for days and days on end until no reasonable person can possibly take it anymore. I’ve been doing this for years and it still never fails to enrage me and induce uncontrollable yawning. The notion that even the simplest plot point has to take an entire week (or longer) to build (so to speak) is exactly why no one bothers to read this thing, aside from those of us who like to test their patience, that is. WE GET IT, HE’S ANGRY! Now please, for the love of God, move on.

Ring, A-Ding-A-Ling

Link To Today’s Idiocy

Special thanks to the SoSF team for steering us all the way into February! Time sure does fly when NOTHING WHATSOEVER is happening, huh?

Once again Guy McAuthor tackles yet another contemporary issue facing young whatevers today, as he at long last uses his delightfully poisonous felt-tip to take on the scourge of…class rings. Boy, I was wondering when he’d finally go after those evil Jostens folks. Nice to see BanMan taking off the gloves and aiming for such a deserving target.

Anyway, Owen (the inexplicable host of “The Bleat”…har har) is looking at this all wrong, as a class ring will be a nice investment that he can pawn to buy a new chullo or some valuable comic books down the line. And if he can’t afford one now, no worries, as he can always buy one next year or the year after that or the year after that. And what the f*ck is Dick Facey sneering about? Are the morning announcements cutting into his smug wordplay time again? And why is he dressed like a parking valet? What a dick.

 

 

Bland Control To Major Dull

Link To Today’s Action

And today it’s a very special cameo from no one’s favorite FW character, Jim Klabichnik, Science Guy. Hey, at least it isn’t Les. It’s a long, long way to go for a gag maybe a dozen people will see and maybe half of them will get, but then again I usually tend to vastly overstate these numbers. We also see that Westview is ALREADY in the grip of near-whiteout blizzard conditions, as there aren’t any sunny winter days in Olde Westview Towne. It’s gonna be a long winter, folks.

And this marks the end of my latest hosting stint, thanks to all for the superlative snark! Stay tuned for our resident Funk-storian, billytheskink as he guides us through whatever the hell Nate’s up to this week….enjoy!

A Brief History Of Banality

Link to today’s stupidity

“Hello, Mason? You’ll never believe this, but I was just talking to my younger self! No, I’m not drunk, they had a time pool in Crazy’s locker and…hello? Mason?”

The Browns gag isn’t that bad but otherwise yikes, this is some of the worst dialog I’ve ever seen in FW, which isn’t saying much as I make that statement at least twice a week. It’s almost as if Batom dreamed up the premise, then kicked back with a non-alcoholic craft brew, then suddenly realized that “hey, I still need a story here!”. Then he threw together whatever came to mind first. Cell phones, Facebook, massive weight gain…yup,that covers the last thirty seven years all right. Sigh. Too bad they don’t award Pultizers for premises that never go anywhere, otherwise TB would be at Home Depot every weekend buying new shelving.

I would figure that Mary Sue might be a little more surprised to be speaking to Lisa, especially given that she just put together the memorial board (featuring Lisa) a few weeks ago. But instead she’s chatting with her about cell phones as if it’s the most natural thing in the world to be talking to a young version of a woman who died eighteen years ago. Fat, stupid AND boring…boy, Batiuk REALLY has it in for those “popular girls” from high school, eh?

And speaking of Lisa, it’s absolutely flabbergasting that no one seems shocked, amazed or horrified that the most noteworthy dead Westviewian is suddenly dorking up the gym with her banal utterances. Perhaps they’re just so familiar with Ghost Lisa that it doesn’t merit more than a “meh” anymore. I know how THAT is. And sorry there Retcon Boy, but Lisa was never an “original” part of the WHS “gang”, nice try though.

Anyway, stay tuned as the always snarktastic Oddnoc bravely throws himself on next’s week’s grenade! Band boxes? Bedside Manor? Dead characters suddenly springing back to life? Find out with the rest of us on Monday night! Until next time…stay Funky!