Month: April 2015

A Blush with Destiny

 

Charles
April 20, 2015 at 1:37 am
It is rather sad how Cindy, who apparently lived in New York for over a decade, and Cleveland over the last year or two, has made absolutely no friends from either of those places and instead has to talk about her life and career developments by walking into her ex-husband’s pizza place and talking to him there.

“Holeee… SHIT! What is happening to your face?” Her simpering expression is enough to suggest that Cindy’s being coy; those halftone dots and pink shading are overkill, making her look battered instead of demure. And as Charles pointed out, does she have no one to confide in save her ex-husband? Lastly, Cindy’s ingenue bit is getting old: yes, Mason Jarr is a movie star, but Cindy enjoys (or used to enjoy) some degree of celebrity; she’s not dating that far above her station.

Failing Up

No doubt TB means to suggest that a “Netbusters” movie is barely a notch above “straight to cell phone.”

Me, two days ago

OK, I stand corrected: they are equivalent. For once, Batiuk seems to have achieved synchronicity between seemingly divergent plotlines, and the results are just as implausible as you’d expect. Pete, who sat practically mute as his editors shitcanned him, vents at length to his Skype wife Darin (these guys are too cutting edge to just talk over the phone; anyway, Pete’s panel 3 air quotes would be lost in translation).

“The Hollywood writers don’t know how to handle superheroes…” This has to be the most howlingly funny and asinine thing that TB has written in years. Comic book adaptions continue to be among the biggest-grossing movies year after year, and probably not on the strength of the writing. Mason Jarr the movie star, because he has just so much clout in this town, decides that the answer is to “bring in some fresh talent” from the comical books. This of course spells opportunity for Pete Reynaldo, freshly chewed up and spit out by New York, whose epic struggles vs. deadlines should play just fine with the studio.

Incom-Pete-nce

Fired? Pete’s been fired?

Welcome to CloudFunkyCuckooLand, folks. Batiuk has at long last thrown off the bowlines and sailed away at last from the harbor of continuity and logic.

Sure, the editors tasked him with taking Mister Sponge in a “darker and grittier” direction, but the clone idea was Pete’s own, and he enthusiastically sold it to his bosses. When, as they anticipated, controversy ensues, his editors reassure Pete that his story has “lit up the internet” and put sales of their comic book “over the moon.” They outline a plan (presumably involving Pete) to further boost revenue by spinning the one title into three. When Pete predictably complains about the increased workload (his current output is already enough to trigger Pete’s psychoses), his nerdbosses calmly throw him overboard in favor of the Netbusters guy.

Suddenly jobless and 400 miles from home, Pete is concerned not for himself but for the “poor readers,” represented by Owen in a panel 3 which presumably takes place months hence: the same Owen who was devastated to learn that his absorbent and yellow and porous hero had been “retcloned” has dutifully shelled out for all three of the resulting comics and pronounces them “cool.”

Petebusters

It’s Badly Drawn Beard Guy’s turn to speak. Mega Comics has “leaked the news” (no doubt via an anonymous Tweet) of the coming Spongeclone Saga, and cover artists are fighting over the gig like it’s Starbuck Jones. Naturally, Pete immediately balks at the prospect of tripling his workload—it takes all his strength to produce one monthly comic, let alone three! His superiors, no doubt acutely aware of Pete’s goldbrick tendencies, have already brought in an acclaimed and expeienced comic book writer “a guy who’s written a movie script for Netbusters,” which avid hate-readers of Batiuk’s strips will know  is where members of the Crankshaft household rent their movies. No doubt TB means to suggest that a “Netbusters” movie is barely a notch above “straight to cell phone.”