We turned left at Montoni’s

The joke in today’s strip appeared in Sumerian cuneiform. It likely dates back even further in oral tradition, as seen in the following paleontologist reconstruction:

Tilmily and Amtrilia

Of course back then, the trilobite’s twin didn’t step all over the punchline like Emily is doing today. And this “teachers are great” business? Hoy, Centerville schools must be in shambles.

Is Nate worried as all get out about what these two think of the school or what? Students moving TO Westview really is the rarest of rare cases, I guess, and he really is terrified of losing them. I don’t think Emily and Amelia’s mother cares half as much about their first day of school as Nate seems to.

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12 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

12 responses to “We turned left at Montoni’s

  1. SpacemanSpiff85

    I don’t think teenagers refer to other teenagers as “kids”.

  2. Gerard Plourde

    From what we’ve seen, they actually haven’t experienced the school yet. They’ve gotten a guided tour with the principal and been introduced to two teachers.

    I doubt that transfer students get this kind of treatment in the real world. More likely they would get escorted to their home rooms and introduced to the home room teacher and then left to fend for themselves.

  3. Epicus Doomus

    Ah, so I finally get it now. The one twin is Little Miss Goody-Two Shoes and the other one is a snide sarcastic smirking wiseass. They’ll fit in quite nicely IMO. And because they’re twins, BanTom can just trace one of them and adjust the angle of her eyes and smirk accordingly and bam, he’s finished in half the time! I guess the way it works is that the “nice” one wears pink and the “evil” one wears the darker colors, right? My, how very clever, why I bet no one’s ever thought of THAT before!

    Seriously though, are these two supposed to be Crankshaft’s idea of comic relief? I thought CS mostly centered around chronic irritability, fractured pelvic bones and senility and not so much around obnoxious high school kids, but I never read it so who the hell knows? The actual Ed Crankshaft character isn’t enough of a dick to be funny and too much of one to be readable or interesting in any way. And I can’t even begin to imagine the other CS characters and their insanely convoluted back stories, dear God no.

  4. Again, we have to contend with Batiuk’s idea of ‘funny’: taking a sentence too literally.

  5. SpacemanSpiff85

    @Epicus Doomus:
    Literally the only purpose these two have in Crankshaft is to be total idiots who completely misunderstand simple English. The last week they were featured:
    Old lady: “What a nice surprise!”
    Moron Twins: “But we didn’t say surprise.”
    The next two days were also about how the twins didn’t understand what “surprise means”. One of the “punchlines” Batiuk’s already reused today, and another was one kid saying her sister had a peanut allergy.
    These kids basically seem to be like what the kids in Family Circus would be like if that strip was written by someone who despised everyone under forty.

  6. We wait a week for an actual gag and he gives us one of the oldest, moldiest ones ever written? He is definitely trolling us now.

  7. Hannibal's Lectern

    TB: “And how did you find today’s joke?”
    Reader: “I looked in another comic strip, and there it was.”

    Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, we’ll be back after this short intermission. And don’t forget to tip your server…

  8. Pretty much every character in Crankshaft is miserable and despicable, and every endeavor ends in painful failure. This week, two of the lesser despicable characters are creating a kickstarter campaign to raise money to buy an old movie theater. I’m expecting that they’ll end up $1 short of the funding goal and have to give all the money back.

    As for Emily and Amelia, either this is the last time we’ll ever see them in the strip, or they’ll be part of the new crop of WHS students who TB will be maligning over the next 8 years.

  9. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    One of two things will happen next:

    1) The hilarious “Wow, They Sure Are Different!!” Twins will never be seen again. (Early admission to that black hole known as Kent State??)

    2) We will have at least another entire week of How Shockingly Different these twins are from each other. Like one worships Donald Trump and the other works for Bernie Sanders. Or one uses the girls lavatory and the other can only use the boys room. Or one eats corn on the cob horizontally and the other eats it vertically. I don’t know. User your imagination.

    SpacemanSpiff says: I don’t think teenagers refer to other teenagers as “kids”.

    Very true. Problem is BatElderly lacks the talent to have his characters speak in any voice but that of a creepy old guy, who WOULD call high schoolers “kids.”

    Same limitation of FooB’s Lynn Johnston, whose characters, male and female, young and old, all speak in the voice of a 60+ year old woman.

  10. @DoubleSIdedScoobySnack: Yeah. I know all about StaLynn’s difficulty writing dialogue. I’ve spent nine years marveling at her inability to understand anyone who isn’t her. The woman isn’t an observer, she’s a camera, meant to record and reproduce without understanding what she’s seeing.

  11. bad wolf

    Careful Double Sided Scooby Snack! Snarking about Lynn Johnson eight years after her 2008 retirement is Paul Jones’ schtick.

  12. SpacemanSpiff85

    @Paul Jones:
    I do actually like FBOFW, but it amazes me how many strips there are where I read and think how horrible Ellie is, but that’s apparently not the point.