Missed It By That Much

Link to today’s strip

I guess Mason chartered one of those super-low altitude private planes all the hot celebrities are into these days. I mean seriously, the thing is maybe forty feet over Les Moore’s house and judging by the change in the house’s perspective, doing a cool 50 miles an hour or so. Talk about a gratuitously unnecessary detail. Seeing a plane cruising over Moore Manor with no flames or bomb craters in sight is such a tease, man. And wasn’t that stupid tree cut down months ago?

So they’re going to film the SJ “earth scenes” in Cleveland of all places, instead of somewhere better or more practical. Sure they are Tom, sure they are. Mopey Pete is in rare form again today, as now he’s pissing and moaning about having to leave Hollywood, as he sits in a private jet no less. Unbe-f*cking-lievable. And what the hell is Boy Lisa going to say when he pops in on his wife…”hey hon, how was that long economy-class flight with our toddler aged son? Oh, me? Private plane”. A quarter-inch from reality my ass, any real wife would have bailed on the hapless Boy Lisa long ago. And who the hell is Andy and how much of the blame does he deserve?




Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

19 responses to “Missed It By That Much

  1. Either the Starbuck Jones movie is a big-budgeted tentpole movie which is going to make people rich beyond measure, or it’s a low-budget TV movie shot in Cleveland. It can’t be both.

    It really makes me wonder what Tom Batiuk wants. Is he going to do this drivel for another six years? (It’s six years from today, isn’t it?) Does he really want his entry to read that he had a funny strip for a decade or so, then pissed it all away on incomprehensible, contradictory nothingness?

  2. SpacemanSpiff85

    “Finally make it to Hollywood”? Pete acts like it was some lifelong dream of his and Darin’s that they struggled to achieve, when it literally fell into their laps thanks to someone they knew helping them out of the blue, even though they’d apparently never expressed interest before.
    The reason they’re shooting in Cleveland? So Les, Funky and John can stand and the sidewalk and smirk while watching Starbuck Jones be filmed.

  3. I suppose you could make an argument that they need a classic, middle-America vibe for Starbuck Jones’ origin, but really we all know that nothing in the Funkyverse is ever allowed to escape the black hole that is Westview.

  4. Who’s the teen-aged girl sitting next to Mason? Oh wait, that’s the aged Cyndi, classmate and former spouse of fat and decrepit Funky. I thought it was one of the Centerville twins who had decided to go back to being blond.

  5. billytheskink

    Pete’s wording is pretty wonky, but his sentiment is perfectly placed. He, just a few months back, escaped northern Ohio for the SECOND time in his life. He escaped immediately after graduating high school too and briefly succeeded on the lam before his comic writing job inexplicably pulled him back to town. Sure, Pete’s a slacking pill who clearly has derived no satisfaction from his work since he peaked in his mid-20s writing for freaking Marvel in New York (bitter much, TB?), but he was again free from the depressing morass of life in his hometown, and I wince along with him as the tip of the Funky Fate Tip draws him right back to square one.

    And we cannot forget Cindy and the glance she shoots Mason in panel two. It’s a glance that says, “First I escape Westview, for the SECOND time in my life, and you drag me back mere months later… And now you are doing the same thing to these two?” as she begins to recognize Mason for the monster that he truly is.

  6. SpacemanSpiff85

    From Batiuk’s blog:
    “Since the work I was doing was only about a quarterinch removed from real life, I decided not to stray too far for the characters’ identities either. So I simply looked to my friends and coworkers as models for my characters.”
    Batiuk’s friend’s and coworkers: he despises you, every single one.

  7. Epicus Doomus

    BC: That’s BanTom, master contrarian. Starbuck Jones might be sweeping the nation today, tomorrow it might be an obscure cult classic again. A few years ago Mason Jarr was a struggling young actor who freaked out over table reads, today he’s buzzing Les Moore’s house in private jets. His nearly-unknown blog is chock full of all sorts of whimsy and imagination, his slightly more well-known daily comic strip is completely devoid of those traits. The consistency of his inconsistency is practically his hallmark now.

  8. Ah, well. At least we’ll get to see how off-base he is about location shooting. It’s always instructive to see which direction his ignorance is coming from.

  9. I almost took a last minute shit in my pants after reading Dave’s strip.

  10. Merry Pookster

    Cleveland…. City of the future.

  11. James

    This is probably an allusion to ‘Avengers’ being partially filmed in Cleveland, but… ‘Avengers’ was not a futuristic space opera.

  12. Rusty Shackleford

    Ah, we see once again that Batty writes this strip for himself, and himself only. He has a hot shot friend Andy. Oh look, Bro, I just called you out in a newspaper! Wow! Ain’t I cool..


    While Ohio does fair better on the tax incentive curve. Cleveland would hardly be a choice to film in. Pittsburgh and suburbs of Chicago would be chosen first. To be honest, Georgia would be the first place chosen given how generous the tax incentive is in that state. Why do you think Walking Dead was filmed there? Heck you get the same tax brakes in California you do in Ohio. No advantage.

    Also add to the fact that it’s not like the whole movie is going to be filmed in Cleveland. Most of it is going to be filmed in a production stage given the special effects. They would choose a somewhere in California.

  14. Jim in Wisc.

    There’s a very high likelihood they’d be shooting the “earth scenes” in Vancouver — the city has an extensive studio infrastructure and behind-the-cameras labor is much cheaper in Canada.

    And of course, with filming occurring in Cleveland, Ahia, Montoni’s will naturally be doing all of the on-set catering … because there aren’t dozens and dozens of actual professional caterers in the greater Cleveland area.

  15. billytheskink

    Ah, well. At least we’ll get to see how off-base he is about location shooting. It’s always instructive to see which direction his ignorance is coming from.

    I’m reminded of the Sklar brothers bit about the Miami Vice house, where their mother attempts to convince them to move from Los Angeles back to their hometown of St. Louis by claiming that a house in town appeared briefly in the opening of an episode of Miami Vice.

    “OK guys, got a busy week next week. Monday and Tuesday, we’re shooting weightless scenes at the Armstrong Flight Research Center at Edwards Air Force Base. Wednesday, we’re shooting Martian landscapes in Death Valley National Park. Thursday, we’re gonna fly the whole cast and crew to Cleveland, Ohio to shoot the scene where Starbuck Jones first decides to get the hell off of Earth. Then Friday, we’re at the CME soundstage in Van Nuys for interior spacecraft scenes.”

  16. Jimmy

    @Jim in Wisc.: It hadn’t occurred to me that Montoni’s will cater the whole affair, but you’re probably right, unfortunately. Funky will whine about having to provide 1,000 pizzas at a profit of $100,000. Oh the horror!

  17. “Andy was the navigator, he was all right! Buddy went to pieces! Andy hung tough, Buddy bailed out!”

    “Over Les Moore Manor?”

    “No, I don’t think I’ll ever get over Les Moore Manor. Those wounds run . . . pretty deep.”