Month: June 2016

Achilles’ Last Stand

You know who really does deserve a Pulitzer? Whoever came up with that blurb “Funky Winkerbean is a reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues affecting young adults in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner.” That is, if there’s a Pulitzer Price for bullshit.

Epicus Doomus
June 24, 2016 at 10:29 pm
And of course we all know [Mason wanting to add an “e” to his last name] will never, ever be mentioned again…

Each time TB squanders ink and newsprint on a strip where Les and Funky go running, it’s the same question: why does Funky do it if he derives no benefit? Les appears to be reasonably fit (at least compared to Funky). He’s not spraying plewds everywhere (“plewds“, by the way, are the droplets of sweat we see in cartoons). Although that might be attributed to Les’ sweatband, which he wears so tightly that it appears to be deforming his skull.

On the heels of bringing you the last couple weeks of snark, yours truly feels like Funky does after one of his runs! Fortunately, billytheskink will be tagging in to go mano a mano with the mind of Batiuk for the next fortnight. Thanks as always for reading, commenting, and sharing the pain.

 

Stick “E” Note

How serious is Mason Jarr about becoming Mason Jarre? Taping-a-letter-e-to-the-back-of-his-chair serious! Of course, from where they’re standing/sitting, Cindy and Pete can’t see that, but Mason’s thoughtful pose speaks volumes. In fact, I’m going to go sit in a chair and assume that same pose and ponder why the hell we invest more thought, time, and effort into the Funkiverse than does Tom Batiuk.

MORONE

Why does Pete get to hang around on set? Oh, yeah: he’s the screenwriter! He must be still working on the screenplay, since as far as we know it hadn’t been finished when they jetted off to Ohio, then New York, then back to Ohio for all the Cliff Anger bullshit. When it comes to settling a discussion, “Let’s ask Pete” is right up (or down) there with “Let’s flip a coin.”

Gravit-ass

Epicus Doomus
June 21, 2016 at 11:45 pm
So, is Mason all stupid again now or what? He was kind of douchey when Les first met him, then he became a beloved Westview fixture, then a benevolent student of lost films and now he’s an idiot again?

What do a percussionist Prince protégé, the Boss’ backup band, a lowercase poet, and mass–energy equivalence have in common? Besides the most commonly used letter in the English languages, not much at all. “Gravitas“? Does Mason even know what the word means? Sheila E’s a helluva performer, but is more famous for her musicianship than her “dignity, seriousness, or solemnity of manner.” As Epicus points out, for all the “strip time” Mason gets, we don’t know much about him besides the fact that he’s a handsome movie actor. Is he making a joke here? The guy who writes and draws him sure isn’t.

People Who Need People

[Dionne] Warwick, for years an aficionado of psychic phenomena, was advised by astrologer Linda Goodman in 1971 to add a small “e” to her last name, making Warwick “WARWICKe” for good luck and to recognize her married name and her spouse, actor and drummer William “Bill” Elliott. Goodman convinced Warwick that the extra small “e” would add a vibration needed to balance her last name and bring her even more good fortune in her marriage and her professional life. In retrospect, the extra “e,” according to Dionne, “was the worst thing I could have done… and in 1975 I finally got rid of that damn ‘e’ and became ‘Dionne Warwick’ again.”

Perhaps Mason’s sudden-onset name change mania isn’t a symptom of his bipolar disorder. Recall how Les fed him that story about Pavarotti’s superstitiously carrying a bent nail for good luck (before planting one for Mason to find, in order to give him the confidence to get through a table read for Lisa’s Story). It wouldn’t take much to convince such a gullible sap that tacking an “e” onto his surname could bring good fortune…or maybe even “a new interview with People magazine“! Because, you know, that project he was involved with the last time People mag came knocking? Les and his fucking “kill fee” put the kibosh on that.