Turning JaPENese

So much of FW’s humor is based on the quest for the Holy Grail, be it a Starbucks Jones comic or the address for some doddering old man. Today’s Strip is more of the same!

Have these schmucks never heard of Amazon?! If the pen is so damn rate how did he get it in the first place? And since when did Darrin turn into such a delicate genius?

Sorry, strip, we already have one quirky writer, we don’t need another.

Gee, I wonder who is updating Montoni’s pizza app during all of this?



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

19 responses to “Turning JaPENese

  1. What’s next? Turning buying a brand of aftershave he likes into the Lord Of The Rings because he’s never heard of Amazon and is too overwhelmed by the kanji to see the button marked “English” on the page?

  2. Rusty Shackleford

    I stand corrected, they did use the Internet. Wow.

  3. Gerard Plourde

    “He…is too overwhelmed by the kanji to see the button marked “English” on the page”

    Even worse – they probably use a flag icon and he doesn’t know what the Union Jack is.

  4. Is he seriously going to burn his entire paycheck having some writing utensils shipped overnight from Japan just so he can sit at his desk and *not* work?

    In the real world Darrin would be able to walk down the hall and find a native Japanese speaker, given that studio’s size — Too bad he lives in Batiuk’s lily-white version of Los Angeles, where even Latinos don’t exist…

  5. Rusty

    I don’t know anything about storyboards, but assume they are a rough draft of scenes featuring characters, spacing and backgrounds? This douche can’t crank out some storyboards using alternative pens? It’s disposable crap, nobody cares about the inking of the final product.

  6. Please, please let this end with Darrin getting fired because he was shopping online during work hours.

  7. @Rusty: To be fair, that studio does everything backwards anyway, since they allowed Mason to hire a storyboard artist SOLELY based on a *secondhand* recommendation from his girlfriend, that she overheard outside of Montoni’s…

    If Hollywood is half as cronyist in real life as it is in the Funkyverse, no wonder modern filmmaking is mired in suck


    So, a big budget production doesn’t have people like gofers. You know, guys whose job it is to get things key personal need?

    They could probably send someone to Japan to get the damn pen if Darrin thought it was so important. I think the real truth is that the producers are sick of all the abuse of privilege that Mason Jarr wielded and are cracking down.

  9. Jim in Wisc.

    Seriously, Batiuk gets paid for this crap??? Clearly (judging from not only this strip but also many of the others King publishes), no one with any authority even looks at what’s being submitted. When the strips arrive via FedEx, the packages probably get routed directly to some entry-level employee who runs them through the scanner and then uploads the files to the server.

  10. billytheskink

    Asking “what’s the bad news?” in the Batiukverse is a foolish thing to do, Pete. On the spectrum of potential answers, though, “can you read Japanese?” is among the most mild. I mean, I was able to translate Japanese using the internet 15 years ago with Alta Vista’s Babel Fish.

  11. Smirks 'R Us

    today’s continuance of this riveting pen related arc and Crankshaft’s droll sloppy joe pun can lead us to only one conclusion, BatHack is stealin’ these days (weeks, months, years). Prolific you ain’t Tommy.

  12. HeyItsDave

    This goddamn story arc is done flirting with stupidity and has now just rocketed off into the moronoverse.

    If cartoonists had a sleepaway camp, this is the kind of thread that would earn T-Bats a soap beating.

  13. In the hands of a Charles Schulz or a Johnny Hart, a week long story about a missing pen (or whatever in the case of BC) could be funny. Here? No.

    If the characters were at all likeable, this could work. We could read a week about missing pens and find it amusing or think, “Oh, that’s so sad!”

    However, these characters have become so loathsome that when something untoward happens, we instead think “Good. I’m glad they are suffering.”

  14. @TFHackett: in Japanese sign language that girl is telling Durwood he’s her older brother. Yet more misery in the Funkyverse?

  15. Professor Fate

    okay it’s one thing that Boy Lisa is having an EPIC meltdown over his pens (and did he not notice that his pens were running low?) but why the hell is Pete bothering about this and not savagely beating him over the head with a T-square is beyond me. Of course this is Pete we’re talking about.
    But really this is a symptom of mental illness not of artistic temperament – which is child like in many ways but not as the Author seems to insist childish.
    Still this Arc is something special – I’ve read DaDa poems that could only wish to be this anti narrative .

  16. Epicus Doomus

    Sigh. So when was the last time Boy Lisa actually, you know, drew something? It had to be back before their impromptu trip to Cleveland, right? And that was months ago. At this point I’m assuming that Pete is really regretting setting up his hapless old pal with his doodling gig in the first place, as he’s just plain making an ass of himself now.

  17. bad wolf

    I have to admit this situation is familiar to me–the searching for Japanese pens, not time-killing a syndicated comic strip. Anyway, there are a couple of websites in English! run by Americans! for imported Japanese pens, and since Stupid supposedly lives in LA now (this is more of an issue in OH admitedly) there are Mitsuwa marketplaces and Kinokuniya bookstores that he could drive to and back at lunchtime.

    (I got the bug for some–like the Pilot Hi-Tec C series–at a comic con years ago, when i asked talented inker Steve Leialoha what he was using. So some pros may use such things, although the storyboards for movies i’ve seen published don’t look like they’re going for such a drawing style at all.)


    In the hands of a Charles Schulz or a Johnny Hart, a week long story about a missing pen (or whatever in the case of BC) could be funny. Here? No.—

    BC, I am constantly reminded of the series of Peanuts strips that Schulz did where Snoopy put notches in his doghouse. There was no point to it but it was funny because it had natural wit and had the likeability of Snoopy & the other Peanuts characters.