Film Food Flim Flam

Link to today’s strip

Looks like it’s Frankie’s lucky day, which by my calculations will mark his first lucky day since way, way back in Act I when his poodle-headed cockeyed homely nerd girl fantasy finally came true. Now comes the part where he concocts a phony story about Mason and Marianne, which will send Cindy into a violent huge-fonted rage. So predictably BanTom. And that dialog is just atrocious…”even when I didn’t believe in myself”…LOL, once again Batiuk just uncannily captures the way “real” women speak.

The whole Film Food thing continues to amuse me to no end. Look at that set-up, chairs, fancy-schmancy two-pronged forks and everything. He must have spent a small fortune on that thing, not to mention the licenses and permits and so forth. Seems like a lot of work and expense to go through just to obtain some gossip, he could have just used a fraction of that money to bribe someone or something.

And this whole “Mason is merely mentoring his younger fellow actor and not trying to hit on her at all” thing he’s doing with these two is making me queasy. Wasn’t his fiancee totally melting down just a few minutes ago in strip time? His first reaction was to grab an intimate bite at a mysterious food truck with his co-star then volunteer to meet her mother? Obvious Mason hasn’t been in too many committed relationships before, as getting closer to the perceived enemy your significant other despises tends not to work very well in most cases.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

14 responses to “Film Food Flim Flam

  1. “She believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself!”
    “Well, I don’t believe in you either–or in me, for that matter!”
    “Wh-what? Do you–are you needing medication?”
    “Don’t be silly my dear!–and you ARE my dear! All I need are comic books.”
    “C-comic books?” Long, drawn out breath. “Are you real?”
    “You’re about to find out! Heh heh heh!”

  2. billytheskink

    To me, the greatest thing about “Film Food” is that Mason and Marrianne are the only two customers that have ever been depicted eating there. All the people involved in this movie’s production and these two, the stars, are the only ones willing to digest Frankie’s swill.

    This is especially great when you realize that Film Food is still busier than Montoni’s.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    Oh man, they actually do eat in costume. That is amazing.
    I really don’t get why Batiuk features these dumb names he comes up with so prominently. At least “Buster’s Crabs” was a pun, even if it was extremely lame. Film Food is nothing! Two words that start with the same letter is not automatically funny.

  4. His need to avenge himself on people who he imagines to have slighted him is so powerful, it’s destroyed whatever skill he once had. We have an implausible scenario smugly defended by a failure who doesn’t realize what a sap he’s always been. We should call this strip Dunning Krugerbean.

  5. Rusty Shackleford

    Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb…

  6. Hitorque

    Either “Film Food” has the best goddamned chow in the greater L.A. area, or like Montoni’s it’s the *only* place to eat in the greater L.A. area…

    Don’t we have to now ask what the fuck people did for lunch before Frankie hatched this scheme?

    And is it me, or is Starbucks Jones the ONLY thing being filmed on that huge studio lot??

  7. So Frankie and his sidekick have apparently (as Epicus pointed out) gone to great expense and effort to set up this food truck for the sole purpose of gathering Hollywood gossip? Have they overlooked the fact that running a food truck is more than a full time job, and that they will actually have to produce palatable food? Seriously, if they’re doing anywhere near a half decent job (but based on the fact that we only ever see Mason and Marianne sitting there, and they’re not eating either, maybe they’re not doing a decent job) they should be making more money than they would earn from the occasional lame gossip story they’re picking up, especially when the first time one of their stories appeared on DMZ and the studio head realizes who they are, they’ll be ejected from the studio, and forced to take their food truck to East LA, since they will not be welcome anywhere in Hollywood again.


    Apparently in age of electronic surveillance the best way to gather info is to pray someone blabs information within barely audible ear shot. Now if she only unnaturally says aloud her mother’s name, address & telephone number, Frankie will be all set!!!

  9. sgtsaunders

    “In other celebrity news, last evening vicious whore and actress Marianne Winters took Jar-Jar Masonite, has-been, home to meet her Momma, a Petri dish from Hollywood, damnable Hollywood. Porno at eleven. This is Cindy Summers reporting for Entertainment Tonight.”

  10. Jimmy

    Thanks for the inspiration, Mr. Batiuk. I just bought a hot dog cart to park outside the U.S. Capitol, so stay tuned for some dirt on

    I’m naming my cart “Legislative Links”.

  11. @bobanero: They might as well stick with this food truck hustle, since it already cost them a shitload of money to start/buy and get permits/licenses, AND they have to literally work it 40+ hours weekly…

    I mean, it’s clearly making money, and since DMZ only pays their snitches/informants/rats by the tidbit, they may want to re-evaluate… Especially since no one tidbit is going to make them millionaires, no matter how juicy it is, and once they out themselves, they’d be arrested/kicked off the lot/out of business anyway…

  12. Epicus Doomus

    Hey, Frankie is using his rag to clean up FOOD FILM…get it?

  13. timbuys

    @Jimmy, you don’t want to know how the links get made…

    When I first read this, I wondered to myself why the blonde guy didn’t recognize Frankie but then I realized Darrin may not have ever mentioned to the actor/patron guy that his hateful dad was running the food truck. Then, I thought about the time when Darrin was depicted getting shot in the gut and I smiled… smirked even.


    You know, it’s not like eMason and Marianne wouldn’t have to be careful if this wasn’t Frankie there. Any waiter, cab driver or valet could pass on info that is private or confidential. Both of them should be careful of their words around ANYBODY. It’s their own damn fault if private info gets leaked to the press.