And No One’s Gonna Save You When DMZ Reports This Tripe

Link to today’s strip

(Note to Ban, Tom: using words like “thrilling” in the dialog fools no one. “Gee Mason, this sure is an entertaining briskly-paced car ride!”…see what I mean?)

The greatest trick BanTom ever pulled was somehow managing to rehash the plot of the very story he was telling even as it was unfolding, something few if any writers have ever pulled off. Mainly because most other ordinary writers like to entertain their readers with, you know, ideas and plot twists and cool stuff like that. But not our pal BatNom, no sir, he likes to keep things simple and repetitive. Repetition: the shitty writer’s best friend, lifelong pal, reliable chum. Good ol’ repetition. Always there when you need it.

(SIGH) So Frankie is still scheming will ill intent and Mason and Marianne are still driving around. The studio certainly grants Mr. Jarre a lot of leeway, you know? The guy abandons the set on a whim whenever he likes, sometimes for days or weeks at a time. Maybe he can score Mrs. Winters a job on the movie, I mean why not just go all-in at this point? I will tell you this though, if they’re not at her mother’s house by tomorrow, everyone dies. One of the things I really miss about old-fashioned newspapers was the way I could always tear out that day’s FW strip and angrily rip it up when it annoyed me like it is today, but that’s too expensive nowadays.

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12 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

12 responses to “And No One’s Gonna Save You When DMZ Reports This Tripe

  1. spacemanspiff85

    How can Frankie possible hear what Marianne’s saying? All he’s filming is a no doubt incredibly shaking and blurry video of the back of Mason and Marianne’s head, with no audio, except himself narrating his evil plot out loud.
    Was his car parked right behind Mason’s car? And did he just pull out right after Mason did? Because otherwise, I don’t see how he could be right on his tail like that.
    If he’s working for a gossip news website, how does he not have a GoPro (which could actually be attached to his car) or some other way of filming other than holding his cell phone as he drives with one hand like an absolute jackass.
    And if Mason is apparently the biggest star in Hollywood, I’d assume he’d notice someone following two feet behind his car blatantly taping him with a cell phone.
    The way this is going I assume Frankie’s just going to follow the two of them right in Mrs. Winters’ house, standing a few feet away obviously taping them, without anyone commenting on his being there.

  2. It’s not bad enough that everyone involved in today’s strip is a chowder-head without us being expected to be equally dim-brained. At some point, someone’s going to come along and ask if there’s a world-wide gas leak.

  3. Rusty Shackleford

    Epicus, you called it. $10 says We will get treated to a lot of dialog about how tough it was being a single mother in a man’s world…then BAM, Mason will save the day and offer her a spot in the movie.

  4. Saturnino

    “Repetition: the shitty writer’s best friend, lifelong pal, reliable chum”
    Pneumonia: the old man’s friend, the captain of death……………….

  5. I don’t know why Frankie isn’t held in higher regard by Tom Batiuk. After all, he’s a super-hero, with the super-power of telescopic hearing!

  6. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    I’ll say this again, what prevents the security guard over there from reporting to DMZ that Masone Jarre and Marianne Winters were leaving the lot together? And he has better footage to over than Frankies Pineapple phone to offer.

    Unless Masone and Marriane are going to make out any time soon, there really is no story here. Two actors working on the same movie went to one of their mothers houses. There is no fucking story there!!!

  7. Comic Book Harriet

    Frankie is so focused on his evil plot he hasn’t figured out that he’s developed superpowers. Specifically super-hearing and super-turning-into-a-slit-faced-muppet-creature.

  8. billytheskink

    Heck, I’d be thrilled to meet Mason, if only because he has one of those tiny Shriner’s cars and I’ve never gotten a real good look at one up close.

  9. Professor Fate

    one does wonder how this is going to count as a scoop – – at best the picture will be the quality of that a bigfoot sighting – couple of blobs in a car that keeps shaking out of the picture.
    It would be something of a twist if Frankie wrecks his car because he’s so intent on following these folks but I don’t think the author will do that – now Pulitzer in that.

  10. Jimmy

    Maybe Frankie will have a run in with cell phone girl.

  11. The Merry Pookster

    I see that Tom Batiuk is a consulting writer now for Judge Parker. A whole mess of drifitng plots with no resolution of any of them

  12. Jason

    This Frankie guy totally looks like a reject from Dick Tracy.