The Winters Of Our Non-Content

Link to today’s strip

That hair strand invading the word balloon in panel three is one of the single most enraging things I’ve ever seen. And Marianne’s peculiarly proportioned body probably says a lot about the artist responsible for drawing it, the less said there the better. The biggest question at this point is how long can Frankie continue to make that ominously sneering face? Is that his default expression now? Did he remember to lock up the Food Film truck before he left? And why did Mason and Marianne leave the front door open like that?  Mysteries abound.

The dialog today is really bottom of the barrel though. Hey, remember back before Marianne was a real character, back when she was still a mysterious home-wrecking vixen? Me either. Turns out she’s just an ordinary girl with a solid set of good old fashioned mid-central-Ohioian values who just happens to live in Hollywood with her adorable stereotypical mom, that’s all. As always, BatNom grinds everything down until there’s not a single edge of entertainment left, just a smooth flat bland surface full of contrived dialog and stupid smirks.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

14 responses to “The Winters Of Our Non-Content

  1. Why does Tom Batiuk keep doing this?
    His art is sloppy and haphazard, his plots are dull beyond belief, and his dialogue is unlike the way anyone actually speaks.
    Case in point: How hard would it have been to put a “that” into Ma Winters’ balloon in panel two? So that her next bit of dialogue isn’t one of Tom Batiuk’s patented “Huh?” statements.
    I mean, I get what she’s saying, but making me work it out (however briefly) like a word puzzle is not how writing works.
    Of course, I know the real reason. A year ago, he drew the art, including the word balloon, and “that” would have been too hard to squeeze in when he returned to write the dialogue a year later.
    As for Marianne Winters, doesn’t she have an extensive filmography? According to everyone, getting her for the Starbuck Jones movie was quite a catch; her presence was supposed to make the film world suddenly sit up and take notice. And remember Cindy saying that Marianne always fell in love with her co-stars? Implying that there were several?
    If you remember any of that, you’re one step ahead of Tom Batiuk, who doesn’t remember any of that.
    So…you could easily take up a career as a cartoonist.

  2. spacemanspiff85

    Yeah, because nothing showcases acting talent like being the damsel in distress in a crappy sci-fi movie that’s taken years just to film.

  3. louder

    Frankie is such a goof, landscape you fool!

  4. Charles

    Why is Summer there in panel 3?

    Anyway, Marianne was supposed to be a bigger star than Mason. It’s your stupid backstory, Batiuk.

  5. Epicus Doomus

    So basically BanTom has succeeded in retconning a character’s back story as he’s establishing it for the first time, which is just amazing. I predict that within a few months the stories will begin to unfold backwards and that it’ll take a while before anyone really notices.

    And as always the retconned version is always way, way lamer than the original. Talk about inane…”I know! I’ll have her live with her mom and Frankie will follow them there!”…I mean seriously, cover your mouth when you yawn like that, BanTom, it’s unseemly.

  6. I’ve no idea who he thinks he’s paying back today but he’s clearly too busy checking off names on his enemies list to write a coherent story.

    Humph. If he’s this incoherent squealing about someone whose offense is being from a more prestigious rival school, he’ll probably achieve Lucas-like levels of stupidity and insanity when upbraiding terrible people on-line who say that his strip is a convoluted mess and his hero is a pompous fist-magnet no one could possibly like.

  7. Ray

    It just caught my eye that Frankie still has his finger on the ‘record’ button of what I assume is his iPhone. Poor bastard is so down on his luck he has to work with busted equipment.

  8. HeyItsDave

    Can’t wait until Frankie reports to Team Rocket HQ with his crappy low-res cell phone footage. “Got a hot scoop or ya, boss! What a headline! MASONE JARRE HUGS FRUMPY MIDDLE-AGED HAUSFRAU. It’s gold, I’m tellin’ ya! GOLD!!”

    So basically BanTom has succeeded in retconning a character’s back story as he’s establishing it for the first time, which is just amazing.

    You’d think a guy like T-Bats would have a big pile of those Big Chief Tablets with character bios, plot points, and storylines written out in big primary-school block letters so he can review them over milk and cookies while he’s drawing out the strips.

    I predict that within a few months the stories will begin to unfold backwards and that it’ll take a while before anyone really notices.

    You know that ain’t gonna happen, ED. A comic written that way would be pretty groundbreaking, and even interesting, but Tom hasn’t got the writing skills to do it without screwing it up. Hell, he can’t even keep his shit straight with the simplistic, broadly-telegraphed stories he has now. Trying to come up with story that follows reverse entropy would give him an aneurism

  9. Rusty Shackleford

    So I thought Marianne was already a well known actress, now she needs Jarre to propel her to fame.

    And her mom looks like Holly.

  10. You don’t have to hold the button down Frankie…

  11. So we see in panel two that Frankie’s shooting a long, long take of a half-open door. The chance that he can hear a word being said inside is near zero, and the chance his phone can pick up any of the conversation is exactly zero. Yeah, DMZ is gonna pay a LOT for this scoop*.

    * In this context, the word “scoop” refers to an implement for picking up dog waste. Or disposing of used FW strips.

  12. @Ray, @Fred Blurt: I just did a quick experiment with my iPhone (an old 4S, which appears to be what Frankie’s using), and it turns out that it doesn’t start recording video till you take your finger OFF the button. So for the last three or four strips Frankie’s been NOT RECORDING ANYTHING. A clever writer might actually have some fun with that. Oh, wait, this is “Funky.”

  13. Rusty

    Didn’t this lady give a Starbuck Jones comic book to Holly a couple of years ago.

  14. Somebody tell Les: his agent Apple Annie is in town.