It’s Beta Than Nothing

SoSFDavidO here, peeking in on this week’s lack of action!

Ah boy, another strip, another plot device pulled out of thin air. Ignoring the fact Harry’s head is on backward in Panel 1, where was this tape the whole time? Funky’s Magical Safe of Holding? Does anyone remember the size of video cameras that used VHS tapes like in today’s strip? I do, and they were the size of a small dairy goat. The idea Harry lugged one of those things to a game and filmed anything is ludicrous. Bull already *lived* the event, what’s a tape going to do but remind him of how old, fat and tired he looks?

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26 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

26 responses to “It’s Beta Than Nothing

  1. The expression on Bull’s face is great. “Oh, God…I always knew this day would come…spare me, Lord–“

  2. paypahclip

    “You killed Lisa, Bull. You were the cancer. You have always been the cancer.”

  3. Charles

    Jesus Christ, it’s fucking THURSDAY and they still haven’t gotten to the point of this whole stupid thing.

    So here we go. This varies a bit from this specific week because I want it to be a general application.

    Monday: *Knock* *knock* “Hi!” “Hi!”
    Tuesday: “I brought something!”
    Wednesday: “You brought something!”
    Thursday: “Hey, look, he brought something!”
    Friday: “I brought you something I think you might like!”
    Saturday: (duuuuuuuuuhhhh face)”You brought me something I might like?”
    Sunday: Mason/Starbuck Jones/Pizza/Comic Books/Cancer/These Damn Kids Today thing.
    Monday: “That thing you brought is something!”
    Tuesday: “It sure is!”
    Wednesday: “I thought you would like it!”
    Thursday: “I do like it!”
    Friday: “It’s nice that you like it!”
    Saturday: “You are such an unbelievably incredible person for this.”
    Sunday: These Damn Kids Today/Cancerthon/Comic Books/Pizza/Starbuck Jones/Mason/Les Is Sanctified/Look Who I Got To Do My Job/Spread About That Thing That Was Brought God Damn It thing

  4. Epicus Doomus

    I like how the tape is labeled “VHS”, lest there’s any remaining confusion over the item Harry has been holding for the last few days. Thanks, Bantom. I also like how he established that Bull has a whole working VHS setup that’s all ready to go, very clever. Otherwise this is possibly the single most useless FW strip of the year, maybe the decade.

  5. billytheskink

    Does Dinkle think Bull wants this tape because he is one of the handful of folks who still own a VCR? As if he would be interested in playing it just because he has a device that can?

    Because, let me tell you, I’ve been there and it is definitely an incredibly annoying thing that I can see Dinkle doing. Just because I own two VCRs and once described myself as a “Betamax enthusiast” does not mean I want your once-played VHS copy of Batman and Robin

  6. spacemanspiff85

    That second panel is just sickening. Like it’s unthinkable that they’d spend any time together because one’s in the band and one’s an athlete. Despite the fact that they worked together for decades. Move on from high school already, Batiuk.

  7. “So what brings a band director to a coach’s home?” Bull asked, kicking his stack of 1978-1982 Playboys under the chair as discretely as he could while simultaneously attempting to pull a “tuck in shirt and zip open fly” maneuver.

  8. “Oh, God,” Bull continues. “It’s a tape of him delivering his puns. Oh, God, where did Linda hide my gun.”

  9. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    “It’s a tape I shot at the football games over the years. I call it ‘Bloopers, Blunders, Boners, and Fuck-ups!’. You should see how red your face gets when you’re screaming at someone.”

  10. So help me, if tomorrow’s strip is just three panels of the VHS tape slowly moving between two hands…

  11. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    “Its the last copy of “The Official Tom Batiuk Instructional Video for New Cartoonists” (TM). I am entrusting you to burn it.

  12. I doubt that anyone in the real world is going to want what Dinkle has in his hands. I also know that Dinkle will be given fawning praise for the generous act of hand-delivering said twaddle.

  13. Charles

    I can’t get over how everyone in this strip is larger than the guy Batiuk claims played football professionally, as a lineman, no less.

  14. Rusty Shackleford

    @charles
    Good description of how this will all play out, but you forgot one thing: the smirks!

  15. Rusty Shackleford

    Tomorrow’s strip, panel one, a hand pushing the tape into the machine, panel 2, a sad looking VHS player whirs, and we see static on the tv, panel 3, a decomposed St Lisa appears on the screen and says, I warned you…

    Tune in tomorrow for the stunning conclusion…nope, it’s just a sideways Sunday strip titled “escape from the tomb”.

  16. I would love it if Harry goes to all this trounle to provide a VHS of Bull’s retirement ceremony and Bull says “Gee, thanks, but the high-def version was uploaded to YouTube months ago.” That won’t happen, because Evil Technology, but it’s nice to dream.

  17. DOlz

    In the name of all that’s holy, please let it be a copy of “The Ring”.

  18. It’s almost word for word the same strip as Tuesday….

  19. Well, since we’ve already seen that Bull’s final game was streamed over the internet by virtue of the fact that TB wasted two days showing Cindy watching it on her cell phone in Cali and making jokes about her insecurity, I’m guessing the the VHS tape has something else on it. Maybe it’s the recently uncovered “Lisa’s recorded message to Bull on the occasion of his forced retirement” video that Dinkle found when he was watching the “Lisa’s recorded message to Dinkle on the occasion of his forced retirement” video. Maybe it’s an old video of Bull’s first concussion, and Bull can reminisce about being carried off the field in a stretcher for the first time. Or maybe it’s a worn-out copy of “Debbie Does Dallas”.

  20. Don

    What tape? Harry brought Bull an empty VHS box

  21. You know this is what Dinkle really wanted to do.

  22. Comic Book Harriet

    First rate comments here today! Kudos to Charles, Beckoning Chasm, TFHackett and DOLz.

    I’m going to say that it’s a copy of Bull’s last Westview football game he played, showing he did actually manage, just barely, to make it into the end zone. But since highschool games circa 1970’s didn’t have instant replay his touchdown was never noticed nor counted.

  23. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    It’s a tape of Les dry-humping his “work wife” Linda in the boiler room at school.

    Which, at this rate, we’ll find out about just before Easter.

  24. I found out where [Instagram] Westviewans get their VHS tapes.

  25. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    Sorry to repeat the same idea, but here it goes. If I had my own comic strip I wouldn’t apologize.

    “It’s a 20 year compilation of you screaming at your players on the sideline. You’re going to be famous. “America’s Funniest Home Videos” is airing it next week!”

    He extends his arm out straight from the shoulder and drops the tape at Bull’s feet.

    “Dinkle out.”