Tag Archives: St. Louis Football Cardinals

Cut the Bull

I want to thank the commenters who’ve shared their very personal stories about cognitive dysfunction and depression. It looks like Batiuk has once again drawn a response from his readers by addressing another thought-provoking and sensitive topic…and getting just about everything wrong.

The North Carolina reference in today’s strip led me to Grandpa Google: I read about a study, being conducted by UNC, of 2,500 former NFL players, investigating “the potential long-term neurological effects from concussions.” Maybe Bull’s “cup of coffee* with the [St. Louis] Cards” qualifies him for such a study, but the majority of his “repeated concussions” had to have taken place during his high school and college playing career. One could hardly fault the NFL for refusing to pay for his care.

* “A ‘cup of coffee’ is a North American sports idiom for a short time spent by a minor league player at the major league level. The idea behind the term is that the player was only in the big leagues long enough to have a cup of coffee before being returned to the minors. The term originated in baseball and is extensively used in ice hockey, both of whose professional leagues (MLB and the NHL) utilize extensive farm systems; it is rarely used in basketball or American football since neither the NBA nor NFL have implemented a true farm system.” —Grandma Wikipedia

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Riddell Me This

Happy Monday SOSFers (well, happy until you read today’s strip…), billytheskink here to take us all into February. February is typically Funky Winkerbean‘s best month, by the way, as no month sees fewer FW strips published… Much thanks to Charles, who endured the last two weeks stalking the halls of Westview High School to set our daily snark tone. Your efforts are much appreciated.

Speaking of two weeks… Two weeks back, when TFH handed the reigns over to Charles, he implored us all to wear a helmet. Alas, that wouldn’t have done us any good. Not in this universe.

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You Can Check Out Any Time You Like….

Link To Today’s Strip

Poor, poor Bull. After a cuppa cawfee with the old Saint Louis Cardinals football team he sheepishly shuffled back to Westview in shame, condemned to the lowest fate of them all…becoming a small town high school gym teacher. Perhaps it was the multiple concussions, perhaps it was his inherent laziness, maybe it was his natural stupidity, but after the Cards let him go he just gave up, returned to his old high school, married the wryest woman in town and resigned himself to the fact that he was just a big fat failure, also known as “career path A” among Westviewian guidance counselors. He should get in touch with every other guy from his graduating class except Les and start a club.

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More Bull In The Cards

Link To Today’s Strip

This is a bit of a surprise, as I naturally assumed we’d never see that asshole Buck again, but apparently he visits the rapidly-deteriorating Bull regularly now…and lucky FW readers reap the benefits. Bull is sitting around in his old football helmet which definitely explains his head injuries, as he’s been doing it wrong all this time. Looks like another trudge down Limited Memory Lane again for ol’ Bull, who never gets to stop re-living the past he’ll soon forget. Yes, that sounds about right.

I’m looking forward to Bull beginning to forget everything, as it’ll (probably) put an end to these interminable football glory days arcs once and for all. BatNom had a choice, he could have either left Bull the way he was and just continued doing his annual football-centric gags like he always has or he could have given Bull a debilitating brain disease, gone nowhere with it then used Bull to rehash his old football-centric gags over and over. Guess which he chose? It’s like Pa Winkerbean’s Alzheimer’s, cheap pathos fodder for a few weeks then forgotten whenever there’s a weak gag to be had.

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It’s Beta Than Nothing

SoSFDavidO here, peeking in on this week’s lack of action!

Ah boy, another strip, another plot device pulled out of thin air. Ignoring the fact Harry’s head is on backward in Panel 1, where was this tape the whole time? Funky’s Magical Safe of Holding? Does anyone remember the size of video cameras that used VHS tapes like in today’s strip? I do, and they were the size of a small dairy goat. The idea Harry lugged one of those things to a game and filmed anything is ludicrous. Bull already *lived* the event, what’s a tape going to do but remind him of how old, fat and tired he looks?

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Bore And Snore-der

Link To Today’s Strip

“Yo, Petey! Listen, you know those thirty pallets of blank VHS tapes you boosted right before the format went extinct and couldn’t ever find a buyer for? Well listen, there’s this town in Ohio….”.

“Welcome to Slippery Pete’s Blank VHS Tape Emporium, formerly “Citizen Khans”, how can I help you? Two dozen blank VHS tapes? Why sure, that will be two hundred dollars, please (chortle).”

Taping…LOL. Taping “Law And Order” for twenty years…LOL again. “Too busy coaching”…uh yeah, sure he was, Linda, sure he was.

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Jerome???

Link to today’s stupid installment

Jerome? Wow, you really DO learn something new every day. I’m really enjoying how this Jerome “Bull” Bushka career retrospective flies right in the face of Linda’s sudden concerns re: her husband’s wacky antics. She knew all about his endless litany of football injury-related woes for all these years and only now sees a correlation? Is she really the diabolical monster I always assumed she was or is she just that stupid?

And while I’m bandying these questions about, how about this one: is BanTom the single worst storyteller who ever lived or is there another mad genius out there who’s built an entire career from repeating a simple premise over and over again to the point where that’s all it is? I doubt it’s ever even occurred to anyone else to “write” stories like this, much less actually do it.

“Mary had a little lamb, Mary owned a small sheep, Mary’s lamb was little, lambs are sheep”…”It was the best of times, times were good, it was the worst of times, bad times, good, bad, bad good, time”…see what I mean? It shouldn’t surprise me anymore, but nevertheless, sometimes I an just incredulous that FW even exists at all. It can’t, it shouldn’t, yet here it is, each and every day.

 

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