Sleepless in SEATtle

SosfdavidO here, marveling at Tombat’s continued use of telling when he should show and showing when he should tell, like in today’s strip.

Here’s how this would have went down in the real world:

Crazy Harry: “I’m here two hours early for the movie!”
Employee: “Why?”
Crazy Harry: “To get the perfect seat.”
Employee: “Which one is that?”
Crazy Harry: “Well, um.. the one in the middle…”

But in the interest of *comedy* we have to go through a whole week of the employee actually leaving his ticket booth to see what the hell Harry is talking about. Who sold the newcomers tickets? Who knows!

How this should have went down:

(Harry and Holly are seated at the theater)
Harry: “Can you see the screen?”
Holly: Yes.”
Harry: “Is your seat comfortable?”
Holly: “Yes.”
Harry: “Are you in a draft?”
Holly: “No…”
Harry: “Would you switch me seats!?”

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18 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

18 responses to “Sleepless in SEATtle

  1. billytheskink

    Uh huh, the guy who answers to “Crazy” doesn’t want to come across too crazy…

    The craziest thing about this strip is that someone thought dragging three elementary schoolers two hours early to a weeknight showing of Casablanca was a good way to spend an evening.

  2. louder

    The look of such smug superiority that appears on Holly and Harry faces, they’re hitting 10 on the Les-O-Smug-Meter!

  3. Epicus Doomus

    In BanTom’s vivid little fantasy world, parents lug their three young children to a showing of “Casablanca” at the local urban decay-o-plex AND they arrive hours early to snag the best seats too. It’s fairly safe to say this is a scenario that could only happen in the Funkyverse and nowhere else.

    If he wanted to do a “going to the movies nowadays is annoying” arc why did he insist on setting it in that stinky old rat trap movie house instead of a modern soulless multiplex? It defeats the whole point, if there even is one, that is. I guess it’s the barely-functioning “last chance” old-timey movie house that’s also a popular family fun spot. Or maybe this part of Ohio is so isolated from the rest of society that they have to grudgingly accept whatever movie this place happens to be playing at the time because it’s all they have. I’ve never been there so I can’t say.

  4. I like to think that Harry and the ticket-taker have been talking about the perfect seat for an hour and fifty-five minutes.

    Because otherwise, there’s another set of folks who arrive two hours early. Yeah, those young kids are going to love sitting in a chair for two hours straight.

    Billytheskink is right. Casablanca is a classic, but those children are going to be bored stiff. “Mommy, why is it in black and white?” “Mommy, did that man just get shot?” “Mommy, why is there all this kissing?” and most likely, “Mommy, can we go now?”

  5. spacemanspiff85

    “Mommy, why is that weird bearded guy glaring at us through the entire movie?”

  6. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    This family will get pissed off at Crazy as he recites the dialogue from the movie, like those jerks that sing along at concerts when you paid to hear the performers.

  7. Great. Let’s inject the cast of The Loud House into the mix so Spoiled Infant Batiuk can squeal piteously about how people want to share his interests. Other people can’t touch HIS milk and cookies any more than his mother can do anything else but serve him.

  8. Rusty Shackleford

    Looks like Donna had a stroke in panel 2

  9. I will forgive a lot of this whole idiotic concept if one of the kids yells, “Hey, this isn’t Rogue One!”

  10. So what’s the joke here?

    1. A family of five just walked into an empty theater two hours early and had been eavesdropping without even being noticed?

    2. That family of five evidently brought/stole their own drinks/popcorn and didn’t buy a ticket since beardboy isn’t manning the box office?

    3. That “Casablanca” is something a seven-, five-, and three-year-old even want to see/understand, much less sit still through the entire film… Or does that family think they’re sitting down to watch “Rogue One” or “Sing”?

    4. That no matter where the family decides to sit, it’s going to be Harry’s spot?

  11. Gerard Plourde

    Not only is a joke absent, there’s barely a storyline.

  12. Professor Fate

    this only makes sense if these people are ghosts.

  13. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    The story of the family that entered this theater is infinitely more interesting than Crazy Harry’s idiocy. Are fugitives on the lam? Is the father one of those nuts that thinks they can turn their kids into prodigies by forcing them to watch classic movies? Is this the last desperate act of worn out parents to put their kids to sleep? Cult leader bringing his “children” to see wholesome entertainment? Seriously, I want to know their story.

    Also, not even kids back in the 1940s wanted to see Casablanca. It’s a movie for adults, not really appropriate kids fare.

  14. Look carefully at the expressions on those “normal” people in the third panel.

    I suddenly find myself far more interested in them, and their expressions of obvious pleasure at inflicting a bit of misery on a resident of Cancerdeathville, than I have been in any character in this strip in the last year. What brought them to the theater early? Have they been stalking Crazy, seeking the opportunity to give him that last little push into homicidal madness? Or do they just travel around Ahia, looking for opportunities to annoy people who greatly deserve it? And what about the kids? Have they just been bought off with promises of popcorn and candy, or are they planning their own “Riff Trax” evening in the hopes of making Crazy’s head explode? We can only hope…

  15. @Professor Fate: Ghosts? That’s giving TB too much credit…

    Actually, TB missed a trick here — The Batiukiest thing in the world would be for that family to be ethereal Harry as a kid with his brothers and we learn just how he came to love that seat/movie/theater as he reminisces in the present time… Extra credit to TB if Harry sits next to his childlike self and talks during the whole movie, spoiling all the good parts, and telling him *nothing* that might be useful or beneficial to his future self…

  16. @Hannibal’s Lectern: Now all I can think of is Lee Harvey Oswald hiding out in an empty movie theater… ” HERE TO SEE A MOVIE, NOPE, NOTHING SUSPICIOUS ABOUT US AT ALL, JUST A REGULAR PATRIOTIC AMERICAN FAMILY HERE TO SEE A MOVIE WITH DRINKS, POPCORN, AND ALL THE REST! WE’RE JUST A BIT EARLY, THAT’S ALL! DON’T LOOK AT OUR FACES, DON’T ASK US ANY QUESTIONS, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE SCREEN AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!! AND IF ANYONE ASKS YOU LATER, WE WERE NEVER HERE!”

  17. Charles

    Jesus, calling Donna a potato with features would flatter her. She looks like a partially deflated soccer ball that’s been stabbed a few times.

    And to think he probably worked at it. He wanted her to look like that.

  18. bayoustu

    @The Diva- Given how far in advance Bat Boy writes this stuff, one of the kids would have to yell: “Hey, this isn’t The Phantom Menace”!