Legacy Of Stupidity

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Or you could return the Lisa’s Legacy money you stole, Corporal. The town is in an advanced state of urban squalor, the high school is barely funded, obese middle-aged people are everywhere…isn’t there ANY other worthwhile cause in that hell-hole? Might I suggest the “Paying For Funky’s Funeral Fund?” or maybe a little something for Cayla after all of Akron attacks and bludgeons that smirking jerk with the annoying headband? Lisa’s legacy has already left enough scars on the FW landscape: that f*cking cancer book, piles and piles of videotapes and journals, Darin, Summer…she’s done quite enough, thank you very much.

My problem with Cory isn’t that the Army turned him into a lean, fit, exceedingly polite young do-gooder, it’s that they turned him into an impossibly bland lean, fit, exceedingly polite young do-gooder. And it all just suddenly happened overnight too and to this point NO ONE has mentioned it even in passing. The surly, misanthropic, sneering young punk of early Act III came home completely transformed to an astonishing degree and it’s attracted no attention whatsoever. You’d think that somebody would say something, right?



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

20 responses to “Legacy Of Stupidity

  1. Frank Bolton

    You know, I just want to take a moment to compare this comic to Mary Worth. MW is also a cheesy, meandering comic that utterly fails in being relevant in die-hards, but it’s at least ENTERTAINING. Or rather, it at least tries to be entertaining. Compare what’s going on with Dawn/Iris/Wilbur to Cory/Funky. Yeah, MW’s idea of drama and character development is comic, but there’s an honest attempt. In Funky Winkerbean, it’s just ‘oh, Cory is a big, brave military boy trying to connect with his father, only there’s no tension because he’s a totally different person’.

    The main difference between so bad it’s good (Mary Worth) and so bad it’s horrible (THIS COMIC) is effort. Effort in plotting, effort in execution, and effort to get us to care about the characters. And FW hasn’t shown any real effort since, what, the final Lisa arc?

  2. spacemanspiff85

    Um, it’s the Akron’s Children’s Hospital Marathon. The purpose of it is to raise money for a children’s hospital. I don’t think you can participate in a race and just saw “screw you all, I’m giving the money to my own charity”.
    And really is one stupid story annually about people running for Dead Lisa not enough, now?

  3. DOlz

    you want to know what happened to Cory?

    Well …

    and as Kevin McCarthy says in the scene they ran and they ran.

  4. spacemanspiff85

    @Frank Bolton:
    You’re absolutely right. Basically every other comic strip that I’ve read except this, 9 Chickweed Lane, and For Better or For Worse (a lot of the time) is at least trying to tell a story, or be funny, or just somehow entertain the readers. This strip just screams “I don’t give a crap anymore, but they’re still paying me”.

  5. billytheskink

    So Cory now wants to spend quality time with his stepfather and former high school English teacher… a pair of adults that he roundly despised growing up, neither of whom were shown to have any positive influence on his decision to join the military and become the well-adjusted human being he now is?

    I’d buy the guilt angle, since he cheated and stole from both Funky and Les in high school, except for the fact that both severely undermined their moral standing by choosing to blackmail him for his misbehavior instead of punishing him.

    Cory and Rocky have no good reason to ask these two to join their relay team unless they have no other friends or acquaintances.

  6. Epicus Doomus

    spacemanspiff85: Now THAT is funny. Cory will make it all up to Les by swindling a children’s hospital and funneling the proceeds to Les’ alleged “charity”. THAT’S the Cory I remember.

    Re: giving up. He began Act III with a decent post-“Lisa dies” head of steam but it all petered out right around the time Les married Cayla, which forced BanTom’s hand regarding the horrific Ghost Lisa arcs which were a regular thing for a few years. Not that early Act III was good or anything…it was not…but it was somewhat more ambitious.

  7. I think the “Lisa phones in a bomb threat from beyond the grave” arc was a big turning point, but the downward spiral probably did start with Masky McDeath.

  8. Gerard Plourde

    Based on his answer, it seems that Les wouln’t consider any charity other than Dead St. Lisa’s to be worthy of support.

  9. countoftowergrove

    Cory continues his plot to drive Funky to a mortality event so that he can inherit the vast Montoni’s pizza empire.

  10. spacemanspiff85

    @Epicus Doomus:
    I think it really went downhill after Summer graduated and vanished. Before then, there were plots, and things happened. Even if they were boring things. Since then it’s all been comics, griping about things, and Les smirking. Honestly, Funky going to the grocery store, buying ingredients for a pizza, baking it, and serving it to customers would be the highest narrative point of this strip in years.

  11. Batiuk is slightly more invested in Crankshaft than he is in the parent strip, Sure, this week, he’s being stunted about Monet but at least usually boring things happen to Ed.

  12. Rusty Shackleford

    And there it is, first mention of Lisa for 2017. I think this site needs a counter that increments every time she is mentioned. Maybe a smirk counter too?

  13. Rusty

    Maybe Cory suffered a head injury in the service which changed his personality. Taking it away.

  14. Hitorque

    1. Isn’t the LL run usually in October/November?? Which means that they didn’t even do anything for 2016?

    2. We will have reached peak Batiuk when Masone Jarre finds a way to get the LL run into the SJ movie

  15. “Did you say Lisa? I’m in! I don’t care what it is, I support all things Lisa! I can’t wait to get home and tell not-Lisa the news!”

  16. In thinking about this a little more, I think that definitely it was the post-Lisa-death “time jump” when things started to go horribly wrong. I think we were all hoping for and expecting that we would see an advancement of some of the other characters and a return to some of the lightheartedness of earlier acts, what we got was TB constantly shoehorning Lisa back into the story arcs, either by way of her extensive video library or other very contrived story lines, such as the return of Frankie.

  17. So we’re seeing new horizons in scammage! Not only will they be using a four-person team to run a five-segment relay (wonder who’ll be doing two segments…), they’re going to divert whatever money they raise from the marathon’s designated charity to some other (the “Dead St. Lisa Cult Fund”). Neat.

    With Fat Funky on the team, I can see only two ways this arc can play out (assuming, of course, that T-Bats doesn’t just drop it and never return). I’ll describe the less disgusting one first:

    1) Funky is chosen to run the final leg of the relay. The other three trot alongside him as he wheezes his way through the run. Cory and Rocky offer lame encouragement, while Smirky Les, of course, damns with faint praise. Funky eventually reaches the finish, long after everybody else, only to find that they’re packing up the banners and tearing things down. He looks down and notices spilled ashes inches short of the finish line.

    2) Funky is chosen to run the next-to-last leg, and of course winds up at the end of the pack. Les runs the last section, and with the inspiration of Ghostly Dead St. Lisa, who runs along side him, he passes the entire mob and ends up taking first place. As he stands on the podium, proclaiming how all the proceeds from the race have been diverted to the Dead St. Lisa Cult Fund, she appears next to him, smirking.


    Personally, I would appreciate it more if 9 Chickweed Lane stopped trying to tell a story and was just it’s Sunday strips.

  19. Don

    @Hitorque re “Isn’t the LL run usually in October/November?? Which means that they didn’t even do anything for 2016?”

    There was a one-off Sunday strip on 10/9 that had the run, complete with Les’s “silent partner” right next to him in the last panel. See if this link works (it may work only for KFS paid subscribers):


    As for “the money Cory stole” (and Funky paid back), I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if that was a plot between Summer and Cory the whole time to get Funky to donate $1000, and she had the money the whole time.

  20. I would tend to agree with those who say Tom Batiuk really ceased caring after the Les-Cayla wedding. Honestly, neurotic Susan Smith would have been a better mate, but I feel pretty certain Mr. Batiuk was thinking, “I’ll give my main character a black girlfriend, and then they’ll get married! I hope I have a nice tie to wear at the awards ceremony!”

    Although if you didn’t know Cayla was black, you would never guess it from the last couple of years.