Dog Gone Dumb

SosfDavidO here again, plodding through the week because the noose I tied to my shower head slipped off, forcing me to continue with this awful arc.

Ok, at least there’s dialog in today’s stripsomething I can work with. It’s not like we’re watching Funky’s fat bulk heft up a hill for a week.

It looks like alternative-verse Pete and Darrin have been tasked with creating a super pet, which was all the rage in the 40s. Spongedog seems as useless and impractical of a super pet as one could get, though. Not to ask the obvious, but what if it rains!?



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

19 responses to “Dog Gone Dumb

  1. Epicus Doomus

    This is exactly what it was like for a certain young buck comic strip writer back in the olden sepia-toned days of yore. You know, back before he decided to take a more mature approach and maim and kill off his creations just like in real life. Yep, he never wanted to create stupid characters like “Crazy Harry” and “Harry Dinkle”, that was all based on pressure from above courtesy of his crude loutish employers who were only in it for the money. Yep, that’s how it was back then all right. Dumb demands and cigar ashes everywhere with no regard at all for The Craft.

    Fortunately he bravely changed all that by slowly killing Lisa, thus comic strip writers are now free to bore the living shit out of their readers by writing completely idiotic and ponderously boring serial arcs based on premises no one could or would possible ever care about. It’s truly a Golden Age.

  2. spacemanspiff85

    I love how the premise of this is that a comic called “The Amazing Mister Sponge” is having its artistic integrity sacrificed, somehow.

  3. Again, why are we supposed to feel sorry for those idiots?

  4. Rusty Shackleford

    Boy, seems like a like time since we were waiting for fat, old Funky to climb that hill and enter the house. What happened with that story?

    Batty sure has a great recipe for secret sauce. How does he do it?

  5. Professor Fate

    Odd this since a feature of the DC comic books the author so lovingly blogs and obsesses about was silly stuff like Ace the bat hound and who can forget Krypto the super dog? Marvel was the company moving the comic book into showing their heroes as real human beings with problems and flaws and personalities at that time without dumb gimmicks like a super horse. so Pete is whining about doing the kind of comic books the author seems to prefer
    It’s just very odd.

  6. Chyron HR

    The comic is just fantastic, that is really what I think. By the way, how about a spongemobile?

  7. sgtsaunders

    Look, you’ve already got a sponge-man – Mr. Sponge – so how could a spongemobile and a sponge dog possibly be any worse. What they need to do is pit Mr. Sponge against alleged pedophile Mr. Bubble, who is always hanging out with kids at bath time.

  8. Gerard Plourde

    Being only slightly younger than The Author, I remember the superheroes of the ’50’s and Professor Fate is absolutely right. I doubt that the writers and inkers were particularly incensed having to create and write stories including Bat Hound or Krypto any more than they were when they wrote stories centered around comic-relief pests like Bat-Mite or Mr. Mxyzptlk. They knew their audience and stretched kids’ imaginations. I’m not sure that the dark and angst-ridden characters and storylines of today are necessarily an improvement.

  9. Eldon of Galt

    It’s a mystery why Retro-Pete is so exasperated. He’s been hired to draw a super-hero comic book, with standard super-hero elements. He knows exactly what the job entails, yet he seems to be annoyed by every
    aspect of it. It’s a puzzling, almost demented view of his work. And it is matched by Today-Pete’s endless whining about all the parts of his job that are precisely what they are supposed to be.

  10. The only superpower the Amazing Mr Sponge has is the ability to paralyze his foes with uncontrollable laughter. He also has the power to baffle men’s minds, as none of them can believe something so pathetic actually exists.

  11. This week is beyond pathetic. With all the different things he could be doing in this strip, and this is what he comes up with?


    Okay, so if Herr Editor had not arrived, what were they planning on making the issue about? What Eisner Award winning plot was sacrificed for the insertion of a vehicle and a dog? What, were they going to have postpone Mr. Sponges epic battle with Luffa Man?

  13. billytheskink

    And what’s wrong with Mr. Sponge having a themed car, fever dream past Pete? It’s not like his sponge powers would inherently give him a way to get around quickly. What is he doing now? Walking? Taking the bus? Driving a 1950’s version of the Batiukmobile (which I imagine is like a Trabant)?

    And given that Mr. Sponge is a superhero with sponge powers named “Mr. Sponge” and already has a sidekick named “Absorbing Jr.”, the addition of a “Sponge Dog” seems rather tame. Complaining about it would be like someone reading Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comics saying “now that’s just ridiculous” when Mondo Gecko makes his first appearance.

  14. Hitorque

    You know, since Mr. Sponge continued to be a moderately consistent success through the decades to the modern-day Funkyverse, maybe Batiuk needs to fucking admit the fat, jovial cigar-chomper knows what the hell he’s doing and that he needs to stop making him into a villain.

    Imagine how much better Mr. Sponge could have been if the visionary editor didn’t have a couple of whiny emo bitch malcontents sabotaging his ideas at every opportunity…

  15. Hitorque

    Just once I’d like to see Pete/Darrin acknowledge that some Hollywood writers go all their lives without getting the chance to write a big budget movie, and them being there is about pure happenstance/cronyism and not merit so maybe they can tone down the bitching and moaning??

  16. Comic Book Harriet

    I laughed unironically at today’s Crankshaft. Then printed off the comic and posted it by my desk. I can’t help it, my beloved grandmother once put a post-it-note on a garbage bag, labeled in flawless cursive, ‘garbage’. I am terrified and slightly full of self loathing, but I have to acknowledge the few gems when they come.

    So, naturally knowing the Law of Conservation of Funny in Batuikverse, I knew that Funky Winkerbean today would be BEYOND painfully unfunny.

  17. Epicus Doomus

    I thought Mr. Sponge was Pete’s modern-day creation and Starbuck Jones was the old-timey comic book title. But now, just out of nowhere, Pete is daydreaming about what it must have been like for his retro self when he was writing Mr. Sponge “back in the day”. It’s sort of like reminiscing about the ol’ 1940s rivalry between the St. Louis Browns and the Miami Marlins. Once again BanTom takes the time to create an entire sub-mythology then just completely ignores it out of nowhere.

  18. @Professor Fate: A cursory reading of his blog reveals that Batiuk thinks that Marvel has ruined the medium by…get this…adding angst where it should not be! You can practically see the superior smirk on his stupid face when he goes out of his way to defame Stan The Man and Jazzy Johnny Romita and any number of other people whose jocks he couldn’t lift with a crane.