Today’s strip was not available for preview, but I think we can safely guess that it will feature Pete extolling the many wonders of the Flash Museum in Central City.
One of the many wonders probably won’t be “I wonder who would be so obsessed and sense-bereft to build a museum celebrating The Flash?”
Link to today’s strip. (It’ll be there soon, trust me.) (FINALLY)
That sentence, “Same old same, old man” sure is jarring, but the saddest part here is Pete Rugose…and not because he looks like he’s ten years old.
He’s a far more successful writer than Les Moore–he’s written for Marvel, he’s written Superman stories, and he’s a screenwriter on a highly anticipated upcoming film. Yet visiting the Flash Museum is the one act that he thinks will define his life. Of course, those other things I mentioned involve writing, and whenever he has to write, he bitches about how hard it is and how everyone should stop making him do it. So maybe being able to write comics isn’t something he celebrates, he sees it as just one big burden.
Harry’s expression in panel three is similarly sad. I’m going to guess that the Flash Museum is not located atop an inaccessible mountain peak, nor is it anchored in the benthic depths of the ocean. It’s probably right here in America somewhere, so if visiting it drives Harry to high levels of ecstasy, then why haven’t you gone, Harry? I seriously doubt that the entry fee is too high–remember, we’re talking about a museum devoted to The Flash. Many museums are supported by visitor donations, while for others the fee is pretty nominal. They want people to come and see what they have, although I suppose in the Funkyverse maybe it’s the opposite, and they’d rather not have anyone visit unless they happen to be the “right” sort of folks.
The only way any of this makes sense is if the Flash museum only opens once every fifteen years, and only stays open for one hour. Then, all this talk of how awesome it is to go to the Flash Museum might make sense. It could be the basis of a great story, too, how Dullard and Pete Ratchet thought they had plenty of time, but got stuck in traffic and got to the museum only to see the “CLOSED” sign be hung in the window by a swift hand. What an opportunity for misery that would be!
But then, Tom Batiuk couldn’t show drawings of the Flash. So of course Dullard and Pete Radish will get to see the museum, and so will we. Sigh.
When they’re at the museum, I hope the staff can sell them razor blades and cyanide capsules at the exit, because if their lives are all downhill from here, why shouldn’t they end it all on a high note?
Sunday’s episode was not available for preview. Typically, though, Sunday’s offering doesn’t interfere with (for lack of a better term) “continuity” of any of the (for lack of a better term) “stories.” After all, we’re promised a visit to the !!!FLASH MUSEUM!!! in !!!CENTRAL CITY!!! and what could Sunday possibly offer that could compete with that?
So, we’ll probably get Funky and Les jogging, Bernie and Pals at the Komix Korner, Les talking about how hard writing is (but Lisa is so worth it), or Funky being made miserable by the universe.
Some things we can count on–there will be smirks, terrible word-play, and of the six panels on display, three of them will be unneeded. And the content will be uninteresting, but in a uniquely disappointing way.
UPDATE: Les is angry that Funky’s imagination is far more interesting than his own. I’m wondering if the new artists are contributing to the writing as well; in olden days, Les would be venting his imagination (in a far more boring fashion), and Funky would be the one bringing everything back to earth. Today, Les is the stodgy, unimaginative one.
This is a nice development.
LOOK, EVERYONE!
YES!! Dullard has had enough of Blondie, and is shoving her out the window! I hope he immediately regrets this and throws himself out as well!
I was looking over the previous strips this week and thinking, You know, if these characters were likeable, this wouldn’t be so bad. It’s not funny but it could be tolerable. Maybe I’ve been too hard on Tom Batiuk.
And then, Tom Batiuk ends the week like this.
Jesus wept.
I understand there are people who really like comic books, and are excited when a new issue comes out, or there’s a comic book convention they can attend. But the idea of a grown man being thrilled beyond measure to go to a museum celebrating the Flash…that’s just one of the saddest things I can imagine. What the heck can they possibly have there?
In comics, I know the Flash Museum in Central City is a thing that exists, because it was the basis of a very entertaining episode of the animated Justice League Unlimited series. There’s a huge difference, though, between the worlds of Justice League Unlimited and Funky Winkerbean. I know I don’t have to point this out, but in JLU, the Flash is a real person who accomplishes real things, his rogue’s gallery are real people (and a gorilla) who commit real crimes, and superheroes in the real world is something people take for granted. So, going to a museum devoted to the Flash and his exploits could be quite interesting.
In Funky Winkerbean, the Flash is not, repeat not, a real person. Despite how hard some people wish that he was. I can’t imagine how they could make a Flash museum interesting. A museum of comic books, or of superheroes in general, sure, that might work. If a friend told me, “Hey, let’s go to the Flash Museum,” the first thing that would come to mind would be a cement-brick basement with a single naked bulb in the center. A constant sound of water drops. A fat surly guy would wave me over to a corner to start the “tour.” And I would think, So this is how I die.
“Let’s not,” I’d say. “Let’s go bowling, or get a pizza, or – better yet – I hear the local high school is having a graduation ceremony. That would be more fun.”
I think that summarizes today’s strip pretty well. It has irrelevant images, repetition, and a genial yet cutting accusation.
But if we want to make it more specific, we can. We can change the focus to a soft blur, or sharpen it to crystal clarity.
This illustrates the entire problem with this week’s “story.” These people aren’t likeable; we wish to see them harmed.
Son of Stuck Funky 