The Men Who Swear At Goats

Today’s strip is what passes for levity in Funky Winkerbean these days, I guess. Buck was apparently disturbed by a commonly-milked farm animal when he really should have been disturbed by the complete lack of almost everything at this football game. There appears to be no crowd, no officials, almost no players (look at that empty bench behind Stropp), and apparently no one else but Bull around to wrangle a loose mascot. Was Westview’s football stadium nicknamed “Uncanny Valley”?

Oh, and did you know that the Scapegoat mascot had a name back in Act I? It’s Billy, much to my chagrin… He once appeared on a book cover with Erma Bombeck’s name.

You know you've got trouble when you have an animal sacrifice at every pep rally


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

21 responses to “The Men Who Swear At Goats

  1. Jimmy

    This strip would have worked if it stopped at Panel 2.

  2. Jimmy

    Also, I notice that Erma Bombeck’s name is the most prominent aspect of that cover, which should be a hint on the talent and quality between the covers.

  3. billytheskink

    Looks like the artist took a can opener to Coach Stropp’s face. And speaking of Stropp, the flashbacks during these last three days have portrayed him as distant, hard, and unfeeling man when in Act I (and Act II) he was really a fussy, blithering idiot.

  4. countoftowergrove

    Bull’s gets his next concussion retconned when he’s clocked by the goat! BWAHAWHAWHAWHA!– HAW! By belly aches from this hilarity!

  5. spacemanspiff85

    I’d say the goat’s disturbing, since he looks like Snoopy with horns instead of ears.

    • hitorque

      I was just about to ask if this was a ‘real’ goat or if the kids dressed up a dog to look like one… The art on that goat/ram/whatever is awful

  6. redsnifit

    The guy who’s been knocked down is wearing the same colors as Bull, which combined with the oddities laid out in the OP (no crowd, no officials, etc.) suggests that this is practice and not a game.

    But then, isn’t it odd how Buck seemingly shares this memory despite presumably not being present? This reinforces my theory that Buck is actually a hallucination.

    • hitorque

      I guess theoretically we’re supposed to assume Bull is telling Hank Hill these stories in real time, but then we’d have to ask why Bull has such a crystal-clear memory for someone suffering CTE…

      But I’m still interested in knowing why this Hank Hill never contacted Bull in his entire life until recently despite living in the region, and why absolutely ZERO of Bull’s students/players/colleagues/friends/relatives/classmates have been by to see him, like ever….

  7. It’s annoying having to remember that the goat is the smartest person on the field. It’s annoying having to remember a time when people kept live animals as mascots instead of shlubs in suits. It’s annoying having to wait until Saturday for a piddly little payoff that just isn’t worth it.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      As a senior prank, someone at my high school took a goat from a local farm and let it loose inside the school. Ah, the craziness.

      Wait, now I’m like Batty: telling stories from long ago that nobody wants to hear.

    • bobanero

      My alma mater (University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill) still has a live ram (named Ramses) that is used as a mascot, in addition go a guy in a ram suit. Anyway, I’m guessing that tomorrow we’ll see that it was the goat that actually scored the winning touchdown, or something. I don’t really care any more.

      • Ha! I went to UNC as well, and my cousin, who also attended, had a dorm mate who was one of the the first human mascots. Cue up all sorts of dumb “goat” jokes for that poor dude…

  8. @Jimmy: This strip would have worked if it stopped at Panel 2.

    It did, actually, the first time Batiuk used this gag:

    The latest post to the FW blog gives a little background on the Scapegoat mascot, although it does not explain why this horned Snoopy looking creature has no ears.

    • For a guy who prides himself on his writing, Batiuk really needs to re-read his posts before hitting the publish button. In another recent entry, he talks about a Batman comic book cover that “shown” out from the rest of the mags in the store.
      (Naturally, the Batman cover inspired the Lisa’s Trilogy cover.)

    • comicbookharriet

      Thanks for the Archive Dive!

    • billytheskink

      The scapegoat would be tethered to the goalpost so it could graze in the end zone during games because the football team never used the end zone all that much. Although, he said, immediately contradicting himself, the team finally did win a game during this period only to lose it later on a technicality.

      TB should have quit while he was ahead here. One, the live mascot was introduced in 1983 and Westview’s fluke victory over Big Walnut Tech was in 1982. Two, the only use Westview’s end zone got in that 1982 victory was from Big Walnut Tech, as the final score was 2-0.

  9. Epicus Doomus

    Terminal brain disease, zany talking animal mascots…it’s all the same in the Funkyverse. Now if the goat gets a concussion it’ll all come full-circle. And it wouldn’t be much dumber than this already is either.

    • hitorque

      Then Pete Rattabastardo happens to randomly be walking by and gets the inspiration to draw a new comic series about the goat which goes on to sell a million copies

  10. Oh please tell me Bull is getting a therapy goat.