Hello Mister Kettle Black, My Name Is Pot

Link To Today’s Thing

“Gratuitous deaths”…LOL! Act III was built on gratuitous deaths…well, in fairness it was only one. But still, it was REALLY gratuitous. Sigh, they don’t kill ’em off like that anymore, no siree they don’t.

Well, for starters this strip marks the exact moment Batom lost interest in the premise. Chester is already cynically compromising his principles regarding his lifelong passion, which means BatNom has run out of dialog already, which means we’re probably in for a week’s worth of premise rehashing followed by a panel of tentative pondering followed by a ten month hiatus before this story reappears out of nowhere like a persistent rash. The nonsense about the comic books of yore was the entire point of this five week trudge, now that he’s there he’s all out of ideas and I guarantee there aren’t any in the forecast either.

Speaking of comic books of yore, what era of comic book history is BatChest babbling about here? Is he talking about the comic books of the 1950s specifically here or is this era of comic book history just a hypothetical fantasy thing that never actually existed? Maybe if he wasn’t so f*cking lazy he could have fleshed out the 1950s style comic book title he already created instead of wasting a month and a half on a pointless boring rant about how comic books were so much better in the 1950s but those who can do and those who can’t complain, I suppose.

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20 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

20 responses to “Hello Mister Kettle Black, My Name Is Pot

  1. countoftowergrove

    No gratuitous deaths, just gratuitous padding.

  2. Is Batiuk trolling himself?

  3. Jimmy

    There would be nothing wrong with the pie-eyed looks they’re giving each other if one of them wasn’t married.

    Maybe they’re just really, really high, though.

  4. “…or unless we can get nominated for awards.”

  5. billytheskink

    So, essentially, Chester is going to blow his fortune entering a stagnant industry dominated by well-entrenched players in order to pretend to be Brady Wentworth?

    Par for this rotten course.

  6. What I see here is not just a rich idiot about to become a poor idiot. What I see here is an author who’s throwing a tantrum because he can’t walk back from a stupid mistake he made because of his lack of humility. He can’t unkill Lisa and he can’t deal with the fact that other characters can bounce back from death because their creators are smarter.

  7. Also, I know that other people have probably mentioned this but Comics Kingdom has seen fit to put Winkerbean in its Vintage Comics section. The blog entry is all about how we can find out what life was like in Cancerview back when the strip was “cringe comedy about a third-tier Rust Belt high school” instead of “comics, comics, comics.”

  8. Gerard Plourde

    Gratuitous deaths – Should we include Rana’s family and, if memory serves, the valedictorian at Funky’s and Les’ graduation?

    The thing he seems to lament most is that comics evolved in terms of character and plot development. The characters of the Golden Age and the early Silver Age were two-dimensional. The writers plugged them into the action of the story, which revolved around defeating some villan’s scheme and ended almost immediately upon that defeat. The heroes had no (well very little) backstory. Bruce Wayne was a fabulously wealthy orphan. The source of that wealth and the details of how he grew up after his parents were gunned down by Joey Chill were never visited by the writers of that age. The same is true about Superman, although at least there the Silver Age recognized the value of developing a Superboy title that at least had appearances by Ma and Pa Kent and girlfriend Lana Lang (a relationship that went unexplored).

    The irony is that The Author tried to break into comics at the very time this was changing.

    We may not always agree with the choices made by today’s writers and find relaunches unsettling but they are signs of an industry attempting to connect with the interests of its target audience.

    • comicbookharriet

      The irony is that some Silver Age comics had issues that were filled with pathos and gratuitous death, just usually being inflicted on characters who only showed up for that single issue. The episodic nature meant that the angst didn’t carry through to the next issue.

      Also, Superman was in love with a mermaid…fact.

      • DOlz

        Lori Lemaris, one of the many double “L”s in his life. If memory serves they once made note of all the double “L”s in his life and had red kryptonite turned him into a llama.

      • When you think about it, Lori wasn’t any more of an alien to Superman than Lois Lane was.

    • Professor Fate

      Hear. Hear – he’s pining for two dimensional heroes and bad guys from the sliver age but lord how long ago was that? And as noted it’s the height of either utter cluelessness or trolling that he’s been torturing his own characters for decades.
      I was kid around the same time maybe a bit later than the Author but I can say I found the DC comics well boring – at least when compared to Spider man who had a life outside of being spider man and had problems with that. And hell even DC found their comics boring and changed them by fits and starts in the late 60’s and 70’s. Honestly give me a Batman with a background not the shallow nothing that he was in the late 50’s and early 60’s. .
      Sorry his harping and harping and HARPING on this just pisses me off.

      • Gerard Plourde

        I’ll admit that I was a fan of the early ‘60’s (pre-1965 “New Look”) comic book Batman, but I was also in the age range of 7 to 11.

        • Professor Fate

          To be fair Dick Sprang was a wonderful artist and his design for the Batmobile remains a favorite of mine. It was one of the things that pissed me off about the Author was when he ripped off the Robin Dies at dawn for his idiot Mr. Sponge character.

  9. hitorque

    1. Why are we even listening to this long-winded repetitive bullshit? All Pete and Darrin should ask is how much Chester is offering to pay them and whether or not they’ll have the editorial authority to sit on their asses and complain all day long while doing no work whatsoever…

    2. Since this half-assed “MAKE COMICS GREAT AGAIN” crusade isn’t going to net dollar one, why doesn’t Chester just commission some special-made comics just for himself? He can easily afford it and since this is the funkyverse these one-off comics would be worth millions in a few years…

    3. Highly successful financial investors like Chester aren’t the type to throw tons of their own cash into Black Hole vanity projects no matter how wealthy or crazy they get… Does Chester really think he’ll turn a profit, even in the Funkyverse??

    4. I realize Batiuk still lives in the Stone Age so maybe nobody told him that webcomics have been a thing for TWENTY(!) FUCKING YEARS ALREADY so there’s no need to deal with what is sure to be an overly expensive printing and distribution process…

  10. hitorque

    5: Why do I get the feeling Chester is talking about something like Disney-based comics or Chick Tracts?

  11. DOlz

    “… why doesn’t Chester just commission some special-made comics just for himself?”

    Eric Idle tells the story of how they couldn’t get anyone to put up the two millions pounds they needed to make “The Life of Brian”. He showed the script to his friend George Harrison and a couple of days later he called him to say he would put up the money. When Idle asked him why Harrison said he wanted to see the movie and as Eric Idle puts it that was the most expensive movie ticket ever.

    Slightly off topic, but your comment sent me there. 🙂

    • comicbookharriet

      Given that many modern comics only sell 4-5 thousand issues… and it’s just colored sheets of paper, it’s really not out of the question as a profitless vanity project, even if Chester has way less than a cool mil to spend on it.

      You could probably print and mail on demand via a website ordering service, and pay our dopey faces dirt cheap freelance rates. You might not make much of a PROFIT. but if you charge the few Batom neckbeards who buy it twice the cost of a Marvel book for that sweet sweet indie cred, you might break even.