Doom And Legume

Link To Today’s Strip

This one took me a while to figure out. “Bean’s End catalog”…I have to assume this is a play on “L.L. Bean” and “Land’s End”…I guess. Which means that BatNard is now basing story arcs on the junk mail he gets every day, in keeping with his “whatever I happen to see within my limited field of vision” approach to “storytelling”. While I certainly do not doubt that “someone” out there collects old catalogs (someone collects everything) it seems HIGHLY UNLIKELY that anyone could fund a fledgling comic book company with the proceeds of such a collection, especially if they just purchased (and renovated) an entire old office building to house such a comic book company. As others have already pointed out, perhaps Boy Lisa’s MBA skills might be of use here if only he wasn’t so busy doodling. What a shame.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

23 responses to “Doom And Legume

  1. spacemanspiff85

    Oh come on, Batiuk just did “auctioning off Bean’s End catalogs on FleaBay” in Crankshaft, last week. It wasn’t funny or interesting then, either.

  2. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    So if you drive to Chester McNeverlaid’s house, you drive through the gate, all the way to the front door. Then you turn around on the grass and drive out when it’s time to go.

    That’s all I got from today’s episode. I ignored the idiotic junk about selling catalogs.

    • Charles

      Well, to be fair, perhaps visitors don’t turn around on the grass. Perhaps they drive their cars in reverse the quarter mile length of the driveway and back out the narrow gate. I’m sure that’s never led to anyone tearing off their bumpers or side swiping or anything.

      • Rusty Shackleford

        Well it’s not like anyone is visiting him. Remember Hagglemore is greedy, and hoards all that is good.

      • Double Sided Scooby Snack

        Maybe. Hate to be one of those Beady Eyed Nitpickers who Batty despises, but that’s THE stupidest looking driveway I’ve ever seen. It’s so idiotic you can’t ignore it if you try!

        Look, if it’s SO flippin’ important that we see the outside of this house, why screw it up so badly?? No circular driveway. No path to an attached or detached garage. And what Komix Tycoon would want cars driving all over the grass in front of his house, tearing it all up??

        Guessing this is a house for someone who doesn’t own a car, but rather has his mom pick him up and drop him off right at the front door, then back all the way up and leave.

        When Batty, Ayrhead, and BurchHack take that community college Intro to Art course together, I hope they take along a copy of this driveway and ask the teacher how to make it look a lot less stupid.

  3. redsnifit

    I hope this is the part where he looks closer and realizes that Derrin is stealing his stuff and selling it on, uh, “Fleabay” to fund that Lisa charity.

  4. billytheskink

    Buckle up for the most unfunny and uninteresting Crankshaft-FW crossover since… well, the last one, whatever it was.

  5. The whole blasted thing is the distant epilogue of last week’s Crankshaft. We had Pam acting like a stupid, dopey old MOM who doesn’t know what’s really valuable airily dismissing the idea that people would miss things she doesn’t like or understand because mothers are horrible people who don’t understand what’s valuable and don’t have a right to an opinion but should hurry up with the cookies and milk already.

    Having Chester make a mint off of this is just another means by which Batiuk can kick his mother’s coffin for being misguided and stampeded into doing something stupid because she thought she was helping.

  6. Smirks 'R Us

    Ah the ol’ Crankshaft crossover. Crankshaft, which is supposed to be 10 years in the future, or past…or who gives a damn.

    I suppose this is BatHack’s resume builder for his Master Storytelling 101 curriculum at Mid-Ohio Community College.

    • spacemanspiff85

      Speaking of which, I bet those students wonder why all the samples Batiuk shows them are over ten years old. And still not that great.

  7. hitorque

    1. It would be most fitting if some little kid somewhere along the distribution chain was secretly keeping copies of all these comics, waiting for them to appreciate in value 30 years later…

    2. Hey motherfucker — If you’re worried about overhead costs maybe you should move those two mooks out of that 12-story factory warehouse downtown that you just spent big coin to renovate… Pete+Darrin can technically work out of your mansion for free while you rent the downtown office space out for another revenue stream — And then as your comics establish themselves and you take on more employees maybe then you move back downtown?

    3. How big is his fucking catalog collection if it’s going to offset the operating costs of Atomikkk Kommixxx, which must be around 15 grand a day?

    4. I don’t get it — Does Chester still have a day job or not??

  8. For those of you who can’t bring themselves to hate-read two Tom Batiuk comics on a daily basis, I’ve gathered last week’s Crankshaft strips, without which this week’s arc will make even less sense, on one handy page:

    • Jimmy

      Thanks for sharing that compelling set of….zzzzzzzzzz

    • Professor Fate

      Thank you – I think.
      And that fellow in the Batman T-shirt supposed to be a younger Chester? I’m sorry have to go hit myself in the head for a while until that thought goes away.

      • timbuys

        Yeah, Jebus but that was kinda bleak and pointless. Also, Hagglemore true to his name… by impulsively purchasing these via the lame wordplay version of pressing the ‘buy it now’ button. Wait, lemme give it a moment’s thought. OK. He used the ‘bug it now’ button. Get it? Flea-bay? Bug?

        Yeah, that feels about right. Time to go tee it off at the local public Par 3 golf course.

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      Oh, BAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!!! It’s funny cuz those moldy old catalogs sold in seconds! No, no, it’s funny cuz Shaftcrank knows how to use a computer! No, no, it’s funny cuz mildew-covered catalogs are actually valuable! No, no, it’s funny cuz Pammmm an’ Jfffzzzfffff are gonna buy back the catalogs as a last gift to the dying bus driver over in Centerville! No, no, it’s funny cuz whatever he sells this garbage for will allow him to meet production costs!

      Whew!!! So much FUNNY!!! Actually, I started belly laughing when I read “Fleabay!” How fuckin’ funny is THAT?? Ya “get” it?? It’s a wry sendup of “EBay,” the auction web page used by computer geeks and internuts! EBay…… FLEAbay! Take THAT, stoopid interwebs page!

  9. sgtsaunders

    Good luck selling those Bean’s End catalogs. I had no luck with my vintage Corvis, Papaya Republic and J. Peckerman. collection.

  10. Jimmy

    Now I know why i’ve been collecting those postcards that come in the mail advertising air conditioning services. Gonna make me a mint.

  11. Epicus Doomus

    This one is really odd in a number of ways. First of all, good call on that bizarre driveway. Second, that annoying look on Chester’s face is not the look of a guy mired in serious financial difficulties. Weirdest of all is the fact that he collects old catalogs too, as one would assume that a world-class comic book collector could easily auction off a handful of super-rare old comics and make a hell of a lot more than his idiotic catalog collection would bring in, although in fairness I think that’s supposed to be part of the “gag” here. Too bad it’s only amusing to one person.

  12. Professor Fate

    Well I did a bit of looking – the highest priced LL Bean Catalogues are mostly from before the 1950’s . Still some of the later ones are listed for $20 or more – so back of the envelope assume say 5 catalogues per year (Winter/ Spring /Summer/ Fall/ and Christmas and say $10 bucks a catalogue (generous given they’ve been stored in a damp basement) at the most you get somewhere about say $2,500 – that isn’t going to keep the lights on for more than a week maybe a week and a half.
    And I hate myself for doing this my only defense was that it’s kind of slow here are work.

    • justifiable27

      You can list any price you want – getting it is another story. The older catalog get higher prices primarily because of their cover art – vintage ’60’s and 70’s catalogs sell from $2.98 to $10. It’s also moot since it’s a false comparison from the outset – LL Bean isn’t a gardening catalog, so it’s appeal is far more widespread. Just try to imagine a bidding war over a copy of 1955 Burpee’s Spring Seeds to see just how ludicrous this is.