July 2018 – Son of Stuck Funky

The Third Entry is When the Quality Drops

Folks, you’re not going to believe this, but for the third time during this stint, the strip is unavailable for preview! Now, don’t worry, don’t worry–everyone please, just remain calm. Your entertainment will be guaranteed by the Department of Redundancy Department, and the Natural Guard. Just proceed, calmly, down to the ticket booth and ask for Principal Poop and he will cheerfully, and decidedly, refund the unused portion of the money you spent to attend tonight’s episode. Because here at Son of Stuck Funky, it’s a fair for all, and no fare to anybody!

I know Tom Batiuk thinks highly of his own work–he’s always giving himself award nominations, after all–but he really treats this stuff like it’s rare jewels, unfit for unveiling before a crass and ignorant public (those people who–gah–prefer attempted entertainment to underthought polemic) until he absolutely has to display his wares. I’m sure he washes his hands after clicking “Send.”

I put it to you that a person proud of the effort he put into his work wouldn’t hesitate to display it. A person who, on the other hand, is ridden with cynicism and resentment, and puts the bare minimum of effort required in order to cash a check, would likely not draw attention to what he produces. Not naming any names or anything.

And if I had to guess, I’d say we have more “words spoken” between Dullard and Peeved. Because I ain’t gonna call it “witty dialogue” when it’s nothing like that.

The New Post Office Arc!

Link to today’s strip.

Chuck Ayers is back doing the art, at least for this week, and his stuff is much better rendered than Buchett’s has been lately. It’s still not what I would call good, but it at least looks like effort was put into it.

It’s amazing that Tom Batiuk has so much going on that he has to farm the artwork out to three different people, yet he can’t concoct an engaging storyline to save his life. Take this one–so Dullard is off to the post office. I remember one time someone went to the post office, and it blew up! “USA! USA!” The last time Dullard went, though, he took weeks to open a letter. I doubt we’ll get any explosions this time around.

These characters have the astonishing super-power of being totally boring at all times. I’d rather see Funky at the gym.

On Monday the Angels Start Weeping

Link to today’s strip.

Monday begins a new cycle, so today’s strip was not immediately available. I’m going to guess we’re going to get more Cliff Anger garbage, because Batiuk seems particularly fond of that of late. Of course, ever since Becky’s mother was left on top of a scissor-lift many years ago, I’ve learned not to be too sure of my predictions.

According to the dialogue yesterday, Cindy actually won an Emmy for her Cliff Anger documentary. I ought to find this surprising for a number of reasons. For one thing, I’m not sure an internet gossip site really qualifies, but never mind that. I don’t know the rules for the Emmys. The fact that Cindy learned nothing about Cliff (her viewers learned nothing either) makes me wonder about the quality of the work, and why it was thought award-worthy. All we saw was people sitting in chairs chatting. Probably Baituk shares the same low-level contempt for television that once marked one as “sophisticated,” and he feels that there are no significant awards unattached to comic books. And of course, Cindy won and accepted her award entirely off-stage (that oughta show ‘er).

Still, I keep thinking the award was announced thusly: “And the award goes to….Cindy Jarre, for Six Decades of Idiocy: The Cliff Anger Story! Congratulations, Cindy, you’ve won the Emmy Award for Best Chairs!”

Early dawning, Sunday morning

Link to today’s strip.

As usual, Sunday’s strip is not available for preview and I’ve got too much to do tomorrow to wait up for it.

I’m of two minds–on the one hand, it sure seems like we were building up to something starring Cliff Anger…but we haven’t really built anything enough. I mean, one mention of “Butter Brickle” hardly constitutes a leaping-off point for a Cliff Anger comic book tribute cover, but then this is Funky Winkerbean so absolutely anything is possible, as long as it isn’t even slightly interesting.

The second, and I think more likely possibility is that we’ll have something unrelated to the previous week. For example, it’s been a while since Funky and Les have gone running, and the fact that Les is in California shouldn’t be a barricade to this strip. Or we might get wacky Bernie Silver Chess Club antics, with all the wackiness scientifically removed. Who knows?

Ah well. We’ll all find out together, and our yawning will be such that it will wake the land!

That’s Not What I Smell

Link to today’s strip.

Well, Cindy’s discovering all kinds of new information about Cliff, isn’t she? But let’s stop and take a look at this for a moment, just so we can see how utterly stupid it is.

If you’re anyone other than Tom Batiuk, you might recall that Cindy did a documentary about Cliff, which was considered worthy of an Emmy nomination. In the interview, she and Cliff sat and talked about his life, his blacklisting, his rediscovery, all that stuff. The fact that it was shot with a single hand-held camera…well, the contents must have been pretty damn good to garner an award nomination.

And, apparently, she asked him nothing about his career. You know, the reason you would interview a performer. Apparently, this whole bit about Cliff working with some “movie-serial comedian” (a thing I doubt existed anyway–serials tended to be action-adventure stories) is completely new to her. I mean…*gasp* I need a moment here to process this.

She’s coming across as so dense, I would not be shocked to find her surprised that Cliff played Starbuck Jones. The entire reason for her interview. “Really? That was you? Wow!” But no, after the interview, she’s still unaware. Was she born stupid, or did she study?

I can easily imagine Cindy making a documentary about (grabbing random celebrity) Paul McCartney and asking about how he met Linda Eastman, that time he was arrested in Japan, Linda dying (from cancer!!) and his bitter divorce from Heather Mills. Then, she meets him at a party and says, “Say, I understood you knew John Lennon! How the heck did that come about? Also, someone told me you write songs! Any I would have heard?”*

Today’s episode is amazing. I suppose one could put this down to Batiuk’s general in-strip contempt for women, but wow, it’s pretty cold. It’s ice cold.

Now, it would make sense for Cayla to be asking these questions, because Cayla hasn’t met Cliff before. Cayla could have seen Cindy’s documentary and asked some follow-up questions. But Cayla married Les, so she can’t be shown as flawed. And Les would have told her all this stuff, and she would have listened intently. And Les would be in the scene, to correct Cayla (and Cliff) about how things actually happened.

Cindy, on the other hand is consistently a target in the Funkyverse; Tom Batiuk loves to lob potshots at her, so sure–she’s stupid and bad at her job. Ha ha ha, stupid! You’re a dumb gurl and everything! “Remember high school? I do!”

Wow.

Just…wow.

*Granted, Paul McCartney’s story is pretty well known, so an interviewer might try to go in another angle to get a different perspective on him. But the whole point of Cindy’s documentary was to re-introduce Cliff to a public that had largely forgotten him. One of the things you would do in a documentary like that is tell people what he had done, and why he should be remembered. And all of that would come from his career, not his personal life.

Yeah, I’m back to using italics like a madman.