The Gazebo Is Not A “Destination”

Link To Today’s Strip

Early Act III Cory had a personality. A sullen disagreeable personality but a personality nonetheless. But that was a long time ago, during that weird period when FW was still basking in the Pulitzer (nominee) afterglow and BanTom was still doing his Act II-style serialized “stories”. Here in 2018 The Corporal is just another annoying wryness drone with a strangely-rendered head, buzzing in and out of the strip every few years to crack wise and further some glacially paced plot line that’s been going nowhere for a solid two or three years now. Just marry the two of them already, why does their engagement need half a decade to play out?

Why’d he even bother with bringing Cory back at all? This strip is lousy with little-seen characters who offer nothing when they pop up out of nowhere every three years, I seriously doubt anyone would have missed Cory any more than they miss, say, Summer or Jinx or Cody or the field goal kicker. It’s all so pointless and random. But at least we have another (sigh) wedding arc to look forward to in two or three years, followed by the inevitable Pete and Mindy comic book (sigh) wedding which should be on the schedule in 2022 or thereabouts. Oh boy.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

23 responses to “The Gazebo Is Not A “Destination”

  1. spacemanspiff85

    Has Batiuk forgotten that Cory isn’t supposed to be a jackass anymore? And also doesn’t look like Conan O’Brien would if he was poisoned by the Joker?

  2. Gerard Plourde

    Why would Funky react like that? Traditionally the cost of the wedding is the responsibility of the bride’s family.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      And why is he weird about a destination wedding, but totally accepting of two round trip drives to Florida, all over a stupid alumni band concert?

      Funky, you are an idiot.

      • comicbookharriet

        Also, a small destination wedding can be leaps and bounds cheaper than a huge small town wedding with massive extended families and friends in attendance.

        But Cory seems to have punched Funky on the cheek between panel. Either that or he as an lightning fast melanoma growing on his face.

        • Rusty Shackleford

          And it could be fun, unlike his misery trip to Florida to pick up his unappreciative mother in law.

    • I believe that’s normally the case, but in the Funkyverse, the answer is “Whatever screws Funky over the most.”

  3. Second panel Rocky is, duh, like a box of rocks.

  4. Epicus Doomus

    See, any other storyteller would be setting something up here. Poor sad-sack Funky walks in the door only to be greeted with horrible news courtesy of his dimwitted wife, then he’d take a few cheap shots from his step-son, then something would happen. A stroke of good fortune that’d eventually go awry or a seemingly incredible coincidence or something like that. By the end he’d be right back where he started.

    But not in FW. They’re really going to Florida to pick up Holly’s mom for a Big Band Alumni Reunion and Cory really is going to run Montoni’s in Funky’s stead. NOTHING will happen and at the end Funky will be right back where he started. Note the difference.

  5. spacemanspiff85

    I’m guessing the destination is either the Komix Korner or (if Rocky is real lucky) the closet comic convention.

  6. billytheskink

    Rocky here is exhibiting TB’s trademark ability at writing female dialogue.

  7. We can add “who does what at a wedding” to the litany of “Shit Batiuk Doesn’t Understand.”

  8. ian'sdrunkenbeard

  9. Rusty

    Never bet against this strip getting worse.

  10. Hitorque

    What the hell does Funkmaster Flex care? It’s not like he’d be paying for it anyway

  11. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    “We got this letter in the mail yesterday about The Coming Reunion, and it’s like next week or something. We have to leave in an hour to drive to Florida and back. You’ve never run this pizza joint before — Heck, I don’t think you’ve even worked here before! I’ve got like five minutes to brief you on what to do. But first, let me smile like a sedated moron and ask you about your wedding plans.”

    “We’re thinking about getting married in Alaska. That’s the only state where there’s no warrant for my arrest. We need you to drive us there and back so we can check it out. No hurry – It can be after you’ve driven maw-maw back home.”

  12. Gerard Plourde

    I just saw the August 7 post on The Author’s blog. He uploaded a picture of the 1986 amendment to his contract with the syndicate that gave him full editorial control of his work.

  13. Professor Fate

    I miss the angry sullen Cory – hey if I was a kid living in Westville in the heart of the Funkyverse, i’d be angry and sullen too until I figured out a way to get the hell out this one horse burg.
    Now he’s just some one you what to slap.