by | August 9, 2018 · 10:31 pm

Double Cheese And Matrimony

Link To Today’s Strip

Montoni’s…the wedding venue of choice for couples who just don’t really give a f*ck anymore. A “99% success rate”??? So Montoni’s has hosted 100 weddings and only one of those unholy unions failed? THAT seems unlikely. As difficult as this is to believe right now I’m actually hoping they get back to the Big Alumni Reunion Band thing or whatever it was, as at least that wasn’t entirely predictable. I like how Rocky still has absolutely nothing to say and no input to offer regarding her own wedding, which would be wildly unrealistic in any other setting but makes perfect sense in the Funkyverse. Obviously she saw her inevitable future and gave up long ago, much like TomHack’s readership did back in ’84.

21 Comments

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21 responses to “Double Cheese And Matrimony”

  1. TFHackett
    August 9, 2018 at 10:35 pm

    I might have to stay up until midnight just to find out if Rocky is allowed to speak.

  2. spacemanspiff85
    August 10, 2018 at 12:12 am

    “Unfortunately, since I’m not your bio-dad, I can’t give you the family discount. Also, you still owe me for that money you stole from that cancer run.”

  3. ian'sdrunkenbeard
    August 10, 2018 at 2:21 am

    Panel #4:

    “We were hoping to get married in some place that isn’t a shithole.”

  4. billytheskink
    August 10, 2018 at 3:09 am

    The 1% failure rate is Funky’s marriage to Cindy, right?

  5. Paul Jones
    August 10, 2018 at 4:07 am

    I wonder how much of a ridiculous asshole Batiuk will make of himself denying that he’s got issues with women. He impresses me as being sufficiently lacking in self-awareness that he can stink up the page with hindrances, antagonists and grinning mutes and still not realize that he doesn’t like or trust women all that much because of his mommy issues.

    We shouldn’t be surprised by this any more than we should be surprised that a pizzeria is being made into a wedding chapel. The very first strip reminded us that he thinks that the women’s movement is the same sort of anti-rational movement that United Girls Against Jughead is.

  6. Gerard Plourde
    August 10, 2018 at 4:10 am

    While Montoni’s can qualify as a destination, I doubt that it comes to anyone’s mind when discussing “destination weddings”.

  7. TFHackett
    August 10, 2018 at 4:47 am

    Panel #4:

    “I said ‘destination’ wedding, not ‘desperation’.”

  8. Rusty Shackleford
    August 10, 2018 at 7:16 am

    And over in Crankshaft, we have another old lady who never heard of tak8ng a taxi to/from the airport. Funny to see Cranky and his daughter making off with Lilian’s bags though.

  9. bayoustu
    August 10, 2018 at 7:40 am

    In panel 3, Funky attempts to smile- but is so rusty at it, all he can manage is a hideous rictus.

  10. TFHackett
    August 10, 2018 at 8:50 am

    The tablecloths on Montoni’s alfresco tables appear to be made of the same fabric as the Traveling Green Shirt.

  11. bobanero
    August 10, 2018 at 9:35 am

    Reception at Montoni’s. Nobody saw that coming..

    I was kind of hoping for a destination wedding in a mine field in Afghanistan, where Cory and Rocky first met.

    • bigd1992
      August 10, 2018 at 2:13 pm

      And Les, Dinkle, and Darin all step on a mine

      • Don
        August 10, 2018 at 5:47 pm

        Except, of course, they all happen to step on those “Bouncing Betty” mines that don’t go off when you hit them with a stick, like the one that Wally stepped on

  12. beckoningchasm
    August 10, 2018 at 11:18 am

    Based on the masthead, looks like Funky’s about to meet the Ghost of Christmas Past.

    • Buckeye Feculence
      August 10, 2018 at 12:53 pm

      Funky Phantom!

    • Gerard Plourde
      August 10, 2018 at 1:08 pm

      So Funky flashbacks are still sepia-toned while Crankshaft flashbacks have advanced to color.

    • Rusty Shackleford
      August 10, 2018 at 2:54 pm

      When is Batty’s token Muslim girl gonna make her appearance? You just know that is going to be an interesting and rich character with lots to teach us and entertain us.

  13. Professor Fate
    August 10, 2018 at 12:40 pm

    And we must also note one hideous hatchet face.