Bench Depress

Link To Today’s Strip

Bad wordplay reigns supreme today (shocking, I know) as Fitness Girl continues to feed the Funk Man more straight lines, a trend I assume (sigh) will continue for at least the rest of the week. If we’re lucky. I likewise assume it’s only a matter of time before Batiuk draws a “correlation” between “curls” and “curly fries” (he can have that gag free of charge, BTW). I keep sort of hoping that Funky and Fitness Girl wind up running off together and Montoni’s goes under after Wally refuses to come out from under the back booth but I dunno, it seems like a longshot. Although he could (and has) do a lot worse. I’d really like to know a lot more about FG…who’s she married to, what kind of pizzeria and/or comic book store does he (or she, as the case may be) own and operate, how did his (or her) first wife die…you know, the FW basics. Although that’s probably asking a lot from a guy who hasn’t yet fleshed out characters he’s been using for forty-plus years.

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16 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

16 responses to “Bench Depress

  1. billytheskink

    I’m guessing Fitness Girl only puts up with this crap because Funky is not only her only customer, but also the only person in Westview who even knows where the gym is located.

    • Epicus Doomus

      She’s actually kind of a sympathetic figure. A fitness trainer in Westview is like being a smartphone salesperson in a rest home or a legitimate massage therapist in Atlantic City…a real challenge career-wise. How’d she end up in Westview? How do Funky’s perpetual failings make her feel? How can the gym afford to pay her?

      • comicbookharriet

        No one pays her. She’s a sadomasochist. She enjoys seeing people suffering, and painfully failing to improve. That’s why she’s in Westview. She’s a better author avatar for Tom Batiuk than Les.

        • Epicus Doomus

          I picture FG trudging home after another miserable day spent battling the inexorable tide of obesity in Westview, climbing the unlit stairs to her one room apartment in the heart of the Montoni’s district, right above yet another empty “for rent” storefront that used to be some sort of sandwich shop, with a stack of mail labeled “second notice” in her hand, wondering how she ended up a fitness trainer in the least fit town in all of mid-central Ohio.

  2. The Nelson Puppet

    How can she tell Bull, Funky, and Mort apart? By their FUPAs! Funky has the largest FUPA, followed by Mort, and then Bull.

  3. Paul Jones

    Perhaps if she were to hire Morbo from Futurama.

    Morbo: “PRESS PLATE” IS NOT BEING USED THAT WAY, PUNY EARTH GERM!!!.

  4. Chyron HR

    BATOM: Wouldn’t it be funny if people referred to the act of overeating as a “plate press”, because that is also the name of an exercise? Pulitzer, here I come!

    • The Nelson Puppet

      Oh, I think he’s shooting for some lower-hanging fruit here, maybe an award from Overeaters Anonymous or perhaps Weight Watchers! In this sense, Batiuk is a kind of more pathetic version of Mr. Micawber…if Batiuk just keeps serving up this shit sammich of a comic strip, some kind of award is bound to turn up.

  5. Rusty Shackleford

    It is obvious that Funkys diet is poor. A good trainer would know that.

    Funky better be careful. A guy at work started working out with a personal trainer that pushed him hard. He ended up losing a lot of weight, but since he was never really athletic, his body couldn’t cope with the added stress. He died of a heart attack while running at age 52.

    • timbuys

      To your point, a good trainer will tell you weight loss is a lot more about diet than it is about training because you need to do a lot of training to lose and maintain weight assuming a typical Montoni’s customer’s/manager’s caloric intake.

  6. Rusty

    It’s called a bench press. I’ve been lifting on and off (mostly off) for 40 years, I’ve never heard anyone call benching with free weights a “plate press.” What I have about Batiuk’s puns is that they aren’t even puns, he just makes stuff up.

  7. bobanero

    In a perfect world, this is the time that Fitness Girl “accidentally” drops that plate on Funky’s foot, which would give the combined benefit of causing Funky a great deal of pain and keeping him out of the gym for a month while his broken foot heals.

  8. Hannibal's Lectern

    “Lats” and “Latkes.” Battocks can have that one too.

    Though it might be blasphemy to suggest that Flunky ever eats anything other than the Montoni’s “pizza” that’s left over at the end of the night.