He knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know.

Link to Today’s Comic.

“I know what safety is! A wax pessary affixed with acacia gum! Just like my dad taught me!”

This really does confuse me. One, Mort is in a NURSING HOME, not a assisted living or retirement home. Where is he getting ‘safety’ materials if neither Funky nor the staff is providing them? I assume the staff would be providing them, and thus they would know that Mort didn’t need to have this uncomfortable talk with his son. Unless he’s bumming them off a friend.

And while it’s good that he won’t be getting any young nurses pregnant, I wonder if he knows there are plenty of great STD’s that most ‘safety’ measures don’t protect against. Warts, herpes, syphilis. After Mort has had the run of the place, I’m guessing Bedside Manor is crawling with more crabs than Cape Cod.
If I were Funky I’d clean off all that pubic hair covering my couch ASAP.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

13 responses to “He knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know.

  1. DOlz

    In “The Good Place” last night (S03E10 “Janet(s)”) the head accountant, Neil is explaining the point system for getting into The Good Place when an Undefined Action happens.

    Michael reads the screen and it says, “Richard Moore of Sugarland, TX hollowed out an eggplant and filled it with hot sauce and nickels.”

    Neil then explains. “And amazingly it’s not a weird sex thing. 99% of all new human behaviors are weird sex things, but not in this ah no it is a weird sex thing.”

    I guess that means Bedside Manor and Mort are creating a bunch of new human behaviors. And really, really don’t want to think about it.

    TB if you’re lurking in this blog then watch “The Good Place”. It’s funny, poignant, informative, and unpredictable without cheating. It isn’t preachy, mean spirited, inconsistent , or boring. In other words a shining example of what writing should be.

  2. The Nelson Puppet

    Nice to see that they kept the conversation going even when the lights went out during panel 2. That, or the “artist” just got disgusted with drawing this lemon party.

  3. Epicus Doomus

    “And after my groundbreaking arc about Muslim-America immigration in Middle America, I explored safe sex and proper condom use among the elderly. To my knowledge no one’s ever been bold enough to tackle those issues in comic strip form until now.”

    The Akron Daily Reader supplement magazine, “Reflections”, February 2019…”47 Years Of Funky…Groundbreaking Comic Strip Creator Refuses To Slow Down”

    • Buckeye Feculence

      The creator may not be slowing down, but his circulation sure is!

      Wow, nothing like positing oneself as the vanguard of the comic world.

  4. spacemanspiff85

    Tomorrow’s strip: “I learned my lesson about safety after you were born! You think you name a kid ‘Funky’ if you planned on having him?”

  5. billytheskink

    Yeah, Darkwing Duck knows what safety is too, but his catchphrase is still “let’s get dangerous!”

    I did like today’s 2nd panel, where the fire hydrants talk to each other.

  6. Paul Jones

    Isn’t it odd how a punchline becomes an intolerable annoyance so quickly? I’ve only seen “Funky is gobsmacked because he has to consider the idea that his dad has had sex and enjoyed it” once or twice but I hate it with the same fury I do Les Moore.

  7. I think I see the point of this arc. It’s another “Batiuk hates Funky” story. See, his dad is getting more action than he is, and is actually enjoying life. Funky remains a fat, miserable loser. The hate in Tom Batiuk is swelling.

  8. bobanero

    Funky returns Mort to the Bedside Manor and says to the receptionist “No worries, I’ve convinced him to use a condom from here on out” to which the receptionist replies “Who said anything about using a condom? We just want him to stop masturbating in the front lobby”

  9. timbuys

    The drawing of a Christmas tree in panel one is substantially better than what my seven year old daughter can draw and panel three well depicts the mutual and deserved loathing and disgust that permeates these two’s existence. Pretty good day for the Funky creative team.

  10. Jimmy

    I’ve been actively ignoring FW for a couple of months, so correct me if someone has already asked this question. I honestly want to know the purpose of safe sex among people in a retirement home. Yeah, STDs and all that, but can you tell the difference between phlebitis and syphillis?