Hot John Darling’s Daughter-on-Boy Lisa Action

Two panels of Jess and Darin making out. I don’t think we needed two panels of them making out in the entire history of this strip, let alone back to back on one day. And I really don’t like Batiuk making us thing about what Darin’s breath tastes like.
Tomorrow’s strip: Darin and Jess are undressing each other right in the middle of the concourse, and Darin says he’s glad he switched to his clean pair of Flash underwear.

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22 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

22 responses to “Hot John Darling’s Daughter-on-Boy Lisa Action

  1. Epicus Doomus

    And today in Things No One Ever Said…

    “I LOVE Boy Lisa and Jessica! I hope we get to see them express their love for one another today! (Newspaper pages turning furiously)…”Yes! Yes! Oh man, that was totally worth the wait!”

    The attention to detail he’s putting into this relationship is seriously confounding, especially considering his lengthy history of not giving a f*ck. I just hope they don’t pass any cheap motels on the ride back to Westview, or this thing could get way uglier really quickly. I’m just going to assume he started this arc after his pizza and non-alcoholic craft beer break, when he was still a little giddy from all the excitement.

  2. Better third panel dialogue–

    Dullard – “Did you know that the Flash’s secret identity is Barry Allen?”

    Jussie – “Actually, yeah I totally knew that!”

  3. Charles

    I posted a whole bunch of reasoning for why Batiuk was emphasizing this relationship in yesterday’s thread.

    I was probably wrong. Now I’m just thinking that he’s doing this because he can’t think of anything else to have these doofuses do. I mean, Christ, he didn’t even put in the effort to integrate their child into this.

    • Epicus Doomus

      That’s what makes Batiuk so confounding and difficult to figure out in spite of being so predictable and boring. One day a drunken talking murder chimp is pointing a prop laser gun at a future communist sympathizer and a few days later two utter imbeciles are making weak-ass jokes about onion breath while they’re making out at an airport. He’s impossible to really ever fully figure out even though he couldn’t possibly be any more transparent. Honestly, it’s why I still read the thing, no one in any other medium thinks like this.

  4. billytheskink

    It’s funny that Durwood thinks that not having onion breath makes this any less nauseating. Not funny in a “ha ha” way so much as funny in a “this is stupid” way.

  5. Lord Flatulence

    What is this? 9 Checkweed Lane?

  6. Epicus Doomus

    Apologies in advance for this, but do you think FW couples crack wise during actual sex? “There’s something I’d like to get straight between us”…”who knew comic book ink was an aphrodisiac”…”I’ll have the pepperoni with that”…stuff like that? Because I say there’s no question about it.

    • comicbookharriet

      Like those old myths about Hasidic Jews and sheets with holes, Westview has it’s own tradition of partners being gagged during coitus to prevent spontaneous spurts of wry banter. It’s a cultural thing, but does increase the birthrate slightly.

    • Charles

      I’d imagine they do, and it makes me puke.

      Actually, as we’ve been shown in strip, Darin made some stupid comments after he left Jessica following their less than uplifting coitus. And Les and Cayla, well, that was treated like a tragedy. So he got one thing right, at least.

      They also made sure to put the clothes that they were wearing previously back on after the event. It’s all just profoundly off.

  7. Paul Jones

    I don’t think we need the “Derpwood and Messica are newlyweds forever and always” crap Batiuk is selling but we keep getting that too. His inability to move characters past a certain comfortable point is not only why Dinkle acts as if he’s still band director, it’s why he insists on calling it Les and Lisa’s house.

  8. Banana Jr. 6000

    Ugh, they’re like Richardandamy from “Zits”: that obnoxious high school couple that can’t function if they aren’t consuming each other 24 hours a day. At least those characters were age-appropriate, weren’t the center of focus, and the strip had some fun with the idea.

  9. robertodobbs

    In any case, “onion breath” comes from raw onions, not cooked onions, no?

  10. bobanero

    So, these two “youngsters” are still crazy about each other, but apparently couldn’t give two shits about their offspring. Skylar should be old enough that Durwood could bring him to the airport to greet his Mom, you’d think.

    • Charles

      I think Batiuk put these two on auto-pilot for too long and now regrets it. He didn’t want to abandon them totally but he didn’t have a storyline for them. So he just showed them dating, then getting married, and the next logical step is to have a child. He tried to do the “adorable scamp” line with Skyler but that’s obviously not the sort of thing he’s comfortable doing.

      But now he wants to bring these two to the forefront of his strip, but the story he wants to tell really isn’t compatible with them being parents. So he tries to make do and instead makes them look like the most neglectful parents in history. It’s at a point where the only way they could be worse is if they’re shown contemplating selling Skyler to a child trafficker in to support their crank habit.

  11. Gerard Plourde

    what’s causing this fixation on Darin and Jessica’s cross-country dating? I wonder if he’ll also be able to wedge in the formerly obligatory Montoni’s visit as well.

  12. Maxine of Arc

    As much as I hated literally everything about the drunken talking murder chimp, at least a drunken talking murder chimp is INTERESTING.

  13. Professor Fate

    Seriously, where’s a drunk heavily armed talking ape when you really need one to take these two out?

    • Maxine of Arc

      The thing is, the frustrating thing about that story wasn’t really the drunk heavily armed talking ape. The frustrating thing is that Batiuk just dropped it in our laps and then strolled off whistling a chipper tune. If he’d actually taken the time, he could have made that storyline halfway plausible or at least narratively coherent, and maybe given us an actual mystery and/or something fun to read, instead of another “documentary” that isn’t. I think he might be capable of putting together a readable, coherent storyline and just chooses not to do so, which is the kind of thing that keeps one commenting on small internet sites dedicated to frustration with unremarkable comic strips.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        “The frustrating thing is that Batiuk just dropped it in our laps and then strolled off whistling a chipper tune.”

        This. I legit wanted to l know where that story was going. It was ridiculous, but to be fair this strip once had a sentient machine-gunning computer for a hall monitor. So a talking, feeling chimp could be made to work. If nothing else, the attempt would have been entertaining. This just stopped with no resolution.

        They even cut off the word balloons! “It was a jealous… Butter was acquitted…” they don’t even TELL you what happened! Even the worst Scooby Doo episode tells you who did it, why they did it, and how. In ways that wrap up the story, not raise even more questions.

        What’s even more infuriating is that if you read the official FW blog (I know, I need help) he planned this Butter Brinkle story in advance. So it’s not like he improvised himself into a corner. And he cut off this story fof what? So this obnoxious couple can play lovey lovey goo for three days? Ugh.

        • Gerard Plourde

          You’re not the only one here who checks in on his blog. The fact that he assembles these stories months in advance is certainly no guarantee that he actually does any kind of in-depth work on them, as the result of several of these indicates. (not just “Butter Brinkel” – remember the Wally, Adeela, and Rana Kent State arc last fall?)

        • Charles

          What’s even more infuriating is that if you read the official FW blog (I know, I need help) he planned this Butter Brinkle story in advance. So it’s not like he improvised himself into a corner.

          I don’t know about that. I get the impression that even though Batiuk works a year in advance, once he finishes a strip it gets thrown into the pipe and stays there. If he realizes that he wrote himself into a corner or there are inconsistencies between what he’s writing and what he wrote, he simply won’t go back to finished strips to redo them to solve the problem, even if it’s eleven months before the strips in question are supposed to appear. He just lives with inconsistencies or screwups or bad conclusions. So he concedes the one main advantage to doing his work a year in advance.

          Also, it’s late, but the fact that he claimed that Butter “protected” Zanzibar in his trial also suggests that Butter was convicted. Count another Batiuk ignorance of the legal system: You don’t need to provide an alternate explanation for the crime you’re on trial for. You just have to cast doubt on the evidence the prosecution brings against you. The only way that would work is if Butter conceded some point that he could have refuted because it otherwise would have pointed at Zanzibar. And, well, that’s way too detailed for what Batiuk provided in his little mess of a story.

          Anyway, since he doesn’t go back to rework things after he’s finished them, we can expect some followup to this in a year when he realizes that he fucked this up so badly that he otherwise shouldn’t show Cliff in a positive light again.

  14. Count of Tower Grove

    Listerine strips start as $1.99.