Moore Problems

I’m billytheskink and this is 2020’s first Les Moore story arc. There, you’ve been warned.

I tagged today’s strip with “first world problems”… but even that is far far far too broad a description of any problem that could result from “my friend the movie star is giving us both a free trip to Los Angeles next week.” Cayla seems to have some self-awareness about this, but this is the Act III Funky Winkerbean where Les is a saint, even when he’s whining. We’ll just have to wait a few days to find out what his “righteous” reasoning is.

Also, we will probably add this storyline to the long list of times people in this strip have flown across the country to conduct a meeting that could have been held over the telephone or a videoconference. This seems to happen multiple times a year.

34 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

34 responses to “Moore Problems

  1. Epicus Doomus

    We all knew this was coming, it was only a matter of when. Lisa is back, Dick Facey is front and center and 2020 is going to get really, really ugly. What are the odds that “next week” actually means next week? I say 50-50 at best. It’s already interesting how Cayla appears to be included this time around, unlike during the infamous “Lust For Lisa” debacle. I’d still really like to see that, by the way.

  2. William Thompson

    Oh, great. Mason Jarr will carry through on his threat to make the “Lisa’s Story” movie. Les is going to be shown as a hero–but will he look heroic enough? Will Mason dye his hair black and wear glasses, as he portrays Les battling tears and tumors with his mighty hands? Will parts of the book be rewritten or deleted to fit the two-and-a-half hour running time? How many Hollywood horrors will Les Morlock have to endure before he demands the kill fee?

    • spacemanspiff85

      You’re expecting too much. I think Mason is flying Les out there to spring the idea of making Lisa’s Story into a movie on him. And Les is going to be totally shocked and full of angst for some reason. And everyone will act like it didn’t just happen, because why bother with continuity or developing a story any more. And Batiuk is just going to repeat this storyline over and over every other month until he can retire.

      • William Thompson

        Why not expect too much? It’s always fun to see how Batiuk can respond with a major disappointment. But it’s even more fun to see how bizarre he can get. What if the studio has decided to film the story in China? What if they’ve hired Alper Mestçi to direct, and he wants Les to tone down the horror? (If you haven’t seen his Siccin films, do yourself a favor and watch them). What if they toss out Mason Jarre and hire Jackie Chan to play Les?

        • billytheskink

          Oh, I hope they’re filming in China so Cayla can finally get that Hong Kong printing press vacation she was promised over 5 years ago.

          And what a time to go to Hong Kong too, especially when written a year in advance…

      • Epicus Doomus

        The way I figure it, after all is said and done he’ll get a solid 15-20 weeks worth of strips out of this premise, no problem. It’ll be three or four weeks before Les actually meets with Mason about the stupid movie, maybe even more. Talk about trip, go to airport, get to Hollywood, be angsty, THEN if we’re lucky the meeting itself, followed by more angst and heavy premise rehashing. And that’s before filming even begins. Five weeks, right there.

        • William Thompson

          I’m hoping that when Les gets to the studio, an overworked casting director says “Sorry, we already have our Satan for ‘The Hell You Say.’ But I’ll keep you in mind for the sequel.”

  3. CRM114

    At least Les trying to be modern with the two tone hair, love the green with gray sides

  4. AmigoLupus

    Has Les EVER asked his wife for opinions, advice or anything of consequence? It just seems like she’s there to make us think Les has a hot trophy wife and has moved on from Lis- AHAHHAHAHAH I can’t even finish that.

    • spacemanspiff85

      Cayla exists because:
      1. Batiuk hoped someone would give him an award for having a white person marry a black person.
      2. Because he thought having Cayla stand silently in the background while Les talks to himself out loud about his problems and how hard is life is would be totally normal and not at all creepy.

      • Epicus Doomus

        Once he brought Cayla and Les together (2008-2009) he had to keep it that way lest he be accused of creating a one-trick gimmick character for cheap plaudits. Just like with Becky, once he lopped her arm off he had to find a spot for her, as there was no way he’d give his detractors the satisfaction. Cayla played second fiddle to Lisa for years, they didn’t actually get married until 2012. Believe me, that was a series of events we’d all prefer to forget.

        • William Thompson

          Except for the part where Les booped himself in the face with a softball. With a little effort that could be brought back for a “Les gave himself CTE” arc.

          • spacemanspiff85

            If that happened it would inevitably end up as a “Les heroically cures his own CTE” arc.

      • Charles

        I really don’t think Batiuk created Cayla with the intention of having her marry Les for praise that he has a mixed-race marriage in his strip. If he did, I think he’d give her more to do. As it is, he doesn’t seem to even like her. After he got over the novelty of making her an athlete, he’s at a loss for how to use her as a character, and doesn’t even seem to care all that much. I also think that if his intention was to receive praise, he’d mention the marriage more often in his interviews. As it is, he’s only mentioned it to use it as a shield when someone called him racist for having Les call Cayla an ape as a term of endearment.

        I really believe that he wrote himself into a corner without realizing it when he had Les hook up with her. He wanted Les to get married and I think that if Batiuk could have had Les split from Cayla without getting criticized for transparent racism, he would have done so. After all, Cayla switched to being racially ambiguous from being obviously black *the exact moment* Batiuk had Les commit to her. If it’s nothing, that’s one hell of an unfortunate coincidence.

    • billytheskink

      He asked her opinion once, nearly 10 years ago. They were not married at the time.

  5. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    “Okay…So far I’m not seeing where the problem is.”
    “That cheap bastard put us in business class instead of first class!”

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      “Okay…So far I’m not seeing where the problem is.”

      Cayla, it’s standing right in front of you. It’s the guy with the glasses and the goatee. Get rid of that, and most of the problem will be solved.

    • ian'sdrunkenbeard

      “Okay…So far I’m not seeing where the problem is.”
      “This flight is on the same day the new Flash comic comes out! The guys at Komic Korner are expecting me!”

  6. Johnny Culver

    Chester the Dog here: When will all his be a dream, and a giant pizza takes over the town and the post office is back? Click your heels, random Muslim character, and it will all be yours.

  7. Doghouse Reilly

    Maybe the problem Les is thinking of is that he’s currently employed as an English teacher (remember, those who can’t do…) at Westview High, Maybe ne’s aware that classes are currently in session, and he cannot just drop everything and tell school officials he’s got to fly out to Tinseltown for an indeterminate length of time to talk to a “big film star” about a project under development. Maybe Les sees that no employer would go for that is he fears losing his position. That’s what any sane, logical person in the real world would be contemplating at this time…which is why I’m probably 100 percent off the mark.

    • William Thompson

      “Go to Hollywood, make money and become a full-time script writer? I’d rather stay here and insult my lazy, ignorant students!”

  8. Gerard Plourde

    It seems that TomBa’s attention only becomes focused (and not in a positive way) when the Les/Lisa drama is involved.

    We’re in for a bumpy ride for as long as he’s fixated on this story arc.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      It’s a new year and Batty desperately wants his Pulitzer so gotta trot out my only popular story arc.

      It’s all he’s got

  9. Doghouse Reilly

    Panel Four Les: “Well, you silly goose, the problem is that doesn’t give me much time to get Lisa’s remains ready to make the trip to California, so that she and I can meet with Mason. I mean, who else would I take out there to discuss her movie?”

  10. Paul Jones

    Batiuk always wants it to be the first time that adapting Les’ real favourite child is brought up so that we can sanctify his brainlessly making so many pointless, stupid and self-defeating objections that George Kennedy walked away from the Crankshaft pilot in sheer frustration.

  11. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Oh… Jason Marre The Hollywood Movie Actor TEXTED Goatee Boy?? That’s weird. Normal procedure would be for Jarreee to show up at his front door with the tickets.

    But I take comfort in seeing that BatWit’s characters still don’t communicate like normal Earth Humans. In Batty’s pointy little bald head, if you’re a wealthy guy, you just buy a couple airline tickets and say, “Hey, I bought you two tickets.”

    Reason for visit? No reason to tell anyone until you see the whites of their eyes.

    Ask them if they are available? Haw, heck no! What in the world could be more important than meeting with the world’s most important komix actor?? Goatee has already shown he can leave his “teaching job” at the school whenever he wants, for as long as he wants.

    Whatever the reason for this audience with THE Starsuck Jones, you can bet on it being forced and contrived. It’s called writing. I’ll bet Lisa would have liked this.

  12. Rusty Shackleford

    And it’s done..My resolution was to be nicer, more patient and I already blew it.

    Nice going Masone, wait for school to be back in session before inviting them out to L.A to discuss something that could be easily discussed on the phone.

    Idiots.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Don’t beat yourself up. FW is an Olympic-level challenge of anyone’s patience. Mother Teresa would throw Les Moore down a flight of stairs.

  13. Hannibal's Lectern

    Try to parse the wall of run-on coming from Less’s mouth in Panel Two and remember:

    1) This guy has three books in print, and

    2) This guy teaches English for a living.

    Suddenly a scuba-diving cop, an animated pile of wet komix paper, and a time-traveling dog sound relatively plausible.

  14. Merry Pookster

    I miss Cayla….. BTW, who is this tanned Caucasian?
    What happened was tom back away from taking a sincere social stance by diluting Cayla from Black features to a white wimp nursemaid

    • William Thompson

      Caucayla’s story is a tragic one. Every time she listens to Creepy Les, she has to use brain bleach. It’s effective, but she uses too much, too often. It takes its toll.

  15. Mark Lasalandra

    Thank Goodness for this group. You all make a comic that’s so bad …. so good !