Oh, yay.  The “did they/didn’t they” romantic drama of our time is finally over, after one whole day of tension.  Thank you, Batiuk.  I thought for sure the rest of the week would be filled with horrible misunderstood phrases like “Les bought an extra-large!” where Cayla would assume Cindy meant condoms and the Official Tom Batiuk Lame Photo Album Flashback Panel would show it was an extra-large root beer.

And what is Caylay’s sigh of relief about?  She once commented wryly on Les crying out Lisa’s name during “intimate moments” with her, so I would think she’d have zero problem with Les being with someone else.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

38 responses to “McArnolds=Hilarity

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Whew! Les didn’t hook up with WHS’ most popular girl forty years ago. Color everyone relieved. Given her history with Les, the idea that she’d even be slightly concerned about the probability of such an unlikely event is completely ridiculous. I mean they’re there to discuss who’s going to play his dead wife in a movie, thus she should have way bigger concerns.

  2. billytheskink

    I read the old strips, it was mostly just Cindy insulting Les for being unpopular… which was terribly misguided. She should have been insulting Les for being an utterly awful person.

    • spacemanspiff85

      I’m sure most of their conversation that night was Les talking about how nice it would be if some day he met someone nice, married her, and then she died slowly and painfully and he wrote a book about it and it was a huge success and then he danced with her ghost on New Year’s Eve. And how it’d be nice if Cindy’s met a guy who was a workaholic alcoholic who passed out in the snow in the gutter on New Year’s Eve. Dreams do come true!

    • William Thompson

      If Cindy had told Les how awful he is, he would have retaliated by saying how awful she was, and love would have taken root in their common ground. To think we came that close to making them into a couple! No Cindy-and-Funky crap, no Dead Fucking Lisa, just two of the vilest narcissists in history working together–oh. That’s why there are so many sci-fi stories that warn against changing the past, isn’t it?

      • spacemanspiff85

        Half the strips of their relationship would’ve had the third panel be Cindy’s hair-tusk knocking off Les’s glasses when they tried to make out.

  3. In the sidebar, someone named Tasmia Mallor thinks someone named Sean Kelley McKeever’s experiences working on “Funky Winkerbean” is worth a book.

    First of all, who is Sean Kelley McKeever? Did he actually work on “Funky Winkerbean”? And if his stint is worth a book, does this mean he died of cancer?

    • William Thompson

      I googled him. He has an extensive Wikipedia entry as a comic book writer. He did some uncredited work on CS and FW back in 2006. He’s also an Eisner Award winner (2005, for “Talent Deserving of Wider Recognition,”) which may explain the uncredited part.

  4. William Thompson

    Cayla is relieved because she feared Cindy would say “Nine months later I gave birth to Les’ baby. I gave him up for adoption and guess what? I found him and he’s a scriptwriter at CME Studios! Want to meet him tomorrow? He’s doctoring Les’ script!”

    • spacemanspiff85

      Knowing how deranged/lame Batiuk’s writing is I think it’d be far more likely he’d have Les’s bastard child turn out to be The Flash.

  5. Gerard Plourde

    Between the snail’s pace that this arc is moving and the possibility of additional detours into the past, it wouldn’t surprise me if this carried through to the FW 50th.

  6. Perfect Tommy

    The Lisa video advising future Less paramours of potential doink awkwardness still makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

    • AmigoLupus

      I’m sorry, the what video now?

      • William Thompson

        In the last, enfeebled year of her life, Lisa recorded a decade’s worth of video messages for posterity. Most of them were efforts to micromanage every step of Summer’s life by giving her advice on every decision she might make. One, however, had Not-Dead-Yet Lisa address any woman who might consider marrying Les that would never be able to get over their deep, perfect, insanely hot love, and he would cry out Lisa’s name in the throes of passion. Which I guess means her maiden name was Lisa Palm.

        • Count of Tower Grove

          Let’s not forget that this was a fucking Easter egg in a FUCKING VHS!

        • Banana Jr. 6000

          Come to think of it, isn’t this rather arrogant of Lisa? “He may be your husband and I may be dead, but he’ll call my name when you’re making love.” Get over yourself, Uncle Fester.

        • AmigoLupus

          Thanks for explaining all this. I’m still reeling at the sheer gall that not only is she presuming her daughter’s every decision and would never let her go, she’s also flexing on Les’ potential wife that he’ll NEVER get over her. Granted, she’s right, but it’s still an awful move by an awful person.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        The video in question can be seen here. And yes, it is exactly as described. Recommend not viewing on a full stomach.

        • Rusty Shackleford

          And yet, Cayla decided to stay with Les. What does that say about her?

          • Banana Jr. 6000

            She’s a woman in Funky Winkerbean. They exist only to be prizes for preferred characters, domestic servants, the butt of jokes, and the recipients of misfortune (so we can explore their man’s emotions about it).

        • Professor Fate

          1 ) One wonders if Les would yell out “Cindy” with Lisa? Seems his style.
          2) I’m sure Cayla is used to putting on the bald wig and lying still for Les.

          • William Thompson

            It’s the ice-baths and formaldehyde perfume that bother her. And she still won’t cooperate when Les says “Lisa was buried in these slacks and tank top. Put them on!”

        • CRM114

          Yup. I was at a restaurant and at the least felt like flipping every table in the joint. What a ghastly bunch of characters.

        • hitorque

          God damn that’s sick!

        • AmigoLupus

          Holy shit! Why is Cayla even smiling here?!

  7. erdmann

    Les called out Lisa’s name during an intimate moment? Must have been a mistake. No doubt he meant to call out his own.

    Flash Fact: Tasmia Mallor is the real name of Shadow Lass of the Legion of Super-Heroes.

  8. Doghouse Reilly

    “Yeah, I also had a cutaneous horn back then. It was surgically removed after high school.”

  9. Banana Jr. 6000

    I like Cayla’s expression in panel 3, as if she thinks the revelation is as stupid as we do. Especially since she had no face at all in panel 1.

    • Doghouse Reilly

      Cayla’s panel-three look is, I believe, her relief on behalf of Cindy, once she realized that Cindy did not have the bitter, joyless experience that is carnal knowledge of Les in her past. It’s like the old joke about the guy who comes home early from work to find his best friend in bed with his wife: “Bob, I have to, but you…?”

  10. Paul Jones

    Batiuk has to get back to what’s really important: spending weeks on end indulging Les’s tendency to whine about how hard it is getting undeserved attention.

  11. Rusty Shackleford

    McDonalds wasnt open 24 hrs back then. Even Montoni’s was closed.

  12. Hannibal's Lectern

    Panel two: the Unicorn meets the Eunuch.

  13. Meanwhile, in the Vintage Funky Winkerbean strips we have this 1974 take on the quality of Montoni’s Pizza:

    Crazy Harry watching TV. The announcer says: ‘Here we are in the woods with our world famous expert on natural foods! He’s eating his favorite food … a Montoni’s pizza!’ Expert: ‘Yes, it reminds me of the taste of wild hickory nuts!’ Announcer: ‘Uh … you’re eating the box!’

  14. Professor Fate

    And a pointless plot cul de sac comes to a quick end. well we can give thanks for small favors.

  15. hitorque

    I don’t give a rat’s ass how much of an inept unpopular loser spazz Les was with the girlies… When you hit the lottery and find yourself out with the hottest girl in school, YOU SHOOT YOUR GODDAMNED SHOT! Hell, it’s practically un-American to *not* do so… Did Batiuk never watch “Revenge of the Nerds” or “Lucas”? (Scratch that, because I remember TB completely ripped off “Lucas” when Chullo Kid won the rivalry game against Big Walnut by catching a Hail Mary with no time left while wearing a mascot outfit)