Chester M’Boy

February 21, 2020 at 2:13 pm
…I FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT!! Chester the Molester is supposed to be Bruce Wayne, but instead of fighting crime through an alter ego, his mission is to right all of the wrongs of the comics industry while saving the entire genre for posterity singlehanded…

Well that would make at least as much sense as whatever has gone on around here this week! Bought off his conscience? Chester’s really not guilty of anything, aside from being a rich nerd. Unless the guilt he feels is over having built his entire fortune on all those comics he stole from the drugstore as a kid. In which case it’s going to take more than selling off one rare comic–which he owns in triplicate–to truly fix his karma.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

20 responses to “Chester M’Boy

  1. Doghouse Reilly

    Say, Chester m’boy, as long as you’re apparently up for conversing:
    1. How did buying Rubella’s “Miss American” cover art and giving it back to her assuage your conscience? Chances are the work would’ve sold, either at the gallery show or if it was put up on Fleabay or taken around the convention circuit, where she could have also made some money doing more commissioned sketches. And you never defrauded Ms. Lith. If anything, you owe money to old Danford the druggist’s family.
    2. Why did you only have the “near-mint” copy of Amazing Mister Sponge No. 10 graded and slabbed instead of one or both of the “gem mint” issues already in your grasp?
    3. Did you really have to mention to yourself that AMS 10 was the debut of Absorbing Jr.? Didn’t you already know that? For that matter, why are you talking out loud to yourself in the solitude of your Fanboycave and saying things of which you’re already aware?
    4. Does this mean that our three-week-long national nightmare is FINALLY over and, come Monday morning, we can at last get back to what kind of flowers the widow Linda Bushka planted in Bull’s Westview football helmet?

  2. Of course Chester is guilty. If Batiuk has pounded anything in this strip, it’s the idea that creators should ALWAYS own the rights to their characters. Remember when the 50’s version of Peeve and Dullard lamented that the Starbuck Jones toys were great, but they weren’t enriching them at all? I don’t remember specifics when this happened, but it was another in a series of long moans. They blend together (but never produce harmonies).

    Chester owns a bunch of characters that he did not create. He’s not an artist; he has created nothing, but he profits from what he owns. Therefor, he can never be cleansed of guilt. He must seek out the moldy old creators of the characters he loved, and reward them endlessly, or he will continue, like Prometheus, to watch as a bunch of mom-things tear the covers off his slabbed first editions while he’s chained to a rock.

    A rock of solid gold, but still a rock.

  3. Gerard Plourde

    The cost of living in Northeast Ohio must be an incredible bargain if Chester can afford the lifestyle TomBa has given him exclusively by buying and selling rare comic books.

    Of course we are dealing in fantasy here, so the near-mint copy of The Incredible Mister Sponge that introduces Absorbing Junior could be equal to the $126,500 that Detective Comics #38 introducing Robin is apparently valued at. But it’s probably a better idea for Chester to diversify and have investments that pay periodic interest or dividends so that he can replenish his supply of rare comics.

  4. Epicus Doomus

    It’s like he suddenly realized Chester was acting way too normal and decided to comic book up the ending by 1000% or so to compensate for the lack of comic bookedness up to that point. Having Chester suddenly revert back to his comic book hoarding weirdo roots out of nowhere kind of undermines the entire point of the story, or so it would seem. But honestly, it’s almost kind of refreshing to see a FW character go completely off the rails behind closed doors on a Saturday like this as opposed to the usual polite smirking and wry wrap-up banter you usually see on day six.

    Here’s what I never got about Chester. Is Chester BatYap’s comic book fantasy version of what a big time wealthy comic book high roller would be like or is he just a hobby-ruining scumbag who’s cashing in on sacred childhood comic book memories? At first he was obviously the latter, but then he opened AK and appeared to become a comic book savior of sorts, handing out comic book jobs and comic book art like some sort of comic book Pied Piper. Now today he’s snidely manipulating the comic book market with his comic book chicanery, using his selfishly acquired comic book hoard to finance his comic book art giveaways like some sort of comic book Bernie Madoff, but with comic books.

    Or is he a new sort of FW “anti-hero”, like Tony Soprano or Walter White, a complex and dark comic book figure with deeply nuanced comic book motives behind his comic book actions? Perhaps BatBore is using Chester to tell a different kind of story here, one that isn’t so much about comic books as it is about the life of a comic book-obsessed comic book collector whose life revolves entirely around comic books. Maybe the two different Chesters we saw this week were indicative of a kind of comic book duality, the idea that comic books and “comic books” can co-exist as separate comic book entities, both free from and tethered to comic books as a whole. Not a man and his comic books but the comic books behind the man and the man behind the comic books.

    • Doghouse Reilly

      Nah, he’s just a “hobby-ruining scumbag”!

      • Epicus Doomus

        Ruining it for everyone else by collecting and preserving mint condition comic books and original art…such a person could very well be Batom’s best friend AND his worst enemy! Someone should base a comic book on that premise.

  5. William Thompson

    Chester just bribed his own conscience? And so ends another day at stately Whine Manor.

  6. billytheskink

    “M’boy”? Chester is… South African?

    And he has a $26 bill to pay?

    • Epicus Doomus

      It took me a long second to get it…well done, sir. It’s funny how Batiuk didn’t even name drop a real old-timey classic comic, opting to go with Pete’s moronic sponge one instead.

  7. William Thompson

    Staying solvent by selling another valuable chunk of your collection? Wow, those new Atomik Komix ishes must be selling like Edsels!

  8. Paul Jones

    Yet again, Batiuk doesn’t understand who people who collect comics are and why they do what they do. Chester looks like Central Casting’s idea of what a mildly aggressive dealer is.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      The whole story reads like the writer did absolutely no research into comic book collecting. Chester’s “CGC 9.8”, from a vintage that he could have stolen in his youth, might be worth a couple hundred bucks. And he wouldn’t have two “gem mint” (CGC 10) of anything. In most cases, two examples the of same comic in CGC 10 condition don’t even exist. Or, they’re so common that they’re not especially valuable. Even if it is the first appearance of Absorbing Junior (ugh).

      • Gerard Plourde

        So we can add comic book collecting to the list of things he doesn’t understand. Though, given his aversion to anything beyond the most cursory research, it makes perfect sense that this would be the case, it’s still a little surprising.

  9. Count of Tower Grove

    How anti-climatic. Yesterday was the real kicker when Todd introduced “pantload” for us to bandy about.

  10. The whole point seems to be that comic books are NOT to be read and enjoyed; they’re to be preserved and traded and sold (but only if one has backup copies).

    Hence, they’re could be anything in this world–stamps, stocks, baseball cards, classic cars.

    For a bi comic book fan like Batiuk, this seems a little telling.

    • Batgirl

      If there were any consistent worldview in this strip, I’d guess that Chester hoarding comics rather than reading them with a cup of cocoa and a plate of cookies means that he is the Wrong Kind of Comics Fan. And maybe that itself is the sin he needs to endlessly atone for. But yeah, that would be putting in more thought than the creator did.

      • Gerard Plourde

        But as Emerson said: “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds”. I’m sure that it’s been stated that DSH John and Crazy Harry have “graded and slabbed” items in the Comix Korner.

      • And yet, I very clearly recall an image of Chester happily reading a comic book while (and I suspect Batiuk thought we’d be horrified) eating an ice cream sundae. In other words, simply enjoying rather than rating.

  11. Don

    Absorbing Jr.? Somebody call Stephen Pastis’s lawyer – TB is infringing on his “bad comic strip puns” trademark