Kitchen Nightmares

Link to today’s strip

Ooooh. Les’ Kent State shirt is back! He used to wear it on the regular but I looked and he hasn’t been seen in it since March 2017. At least, I assume it’s a Kent State shirt. The sloppy way it’s drawn, I had previously took it for some kind of tribal symbol, or a bad Stargate fan shirt.

Speaking of sloppy drawing, there’s a non-sequitur of art in every panel today. In panel one Les hand disappears into Funky’s chest like he’s coping a feel. Or attempting to reenact that famous scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. In panel two Les’ face has melted into a Bell’s Palsy grimace as he hunches over the inky blackness of Funky’s coat, looking for all the world like he’s just grabbed the head of a tiny Nazgul.

Panel three we get a tiny bowl of balls invading the speech bubble atop the fridge. Are they oranges? Who puts oranges on top of the fridge? Are they novelty clown noses, tucked away for some kinky kitchen roleplay? Also in panel three we have the return of our Theme Of The Week: Funky making a horrified shocked face. Today’s offering has the overtones of ‘electric prostrate exam’ we’ve enjoyed thus far, but follows it up with a hint of ‘trousers full of spiders’ for good measure.

30 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

30 responses to “Kitchen Nightmares

  1. William Thompson

    “Funky!” Les says, and cops a feel. “Nice moob!” Cayla smiles because for once Les isn’t groping her. Meanwhile Funky palpates himself for lumps.

  2. Panel Two is what’s really creepy here. “I have the Funky Winkerbean form, here, let me just smush it into a shape I can manipulate and torture.” Les smirks, and squeezes the black form. “So, Funky, you were popular and well-liked? I bet I can see to that…”

  3. billytheskink

    Oh I get it now! Funky’s doing the Westview male thing all wrong. He’s being decent and helpful, going to the kitchen to get hot chocolate and snacks for other folks, and the Batiukverse is punishing him for it.

  4. Gerard Plourde

    Panel 3 presents an interesting question. Is TomBa intentionally displaying Les’ nastiness? And since the game has been recorded, the only reason I can think of for Funky’s expression in that panel is that Cayla’s unseen left hand is holding a cattle prod and applying it to his posterior.

  5. Epicus Doomus

    As usual, Cayla’s first response is to make snacks for the boys. In some ways it’s like FW is set in some magical idyllic late 1950s-early 1960s sitcom fantasy universe. All she’s missing is a jaunty apron.

    • William Thompson

      And the elegant blouse with matching pearls. (How did my reply to your comment end up elsewhere?)

    • hitorque

      “make snacks”?

      I’d have thought Les+Kayla had already eaten since they were watching the game, too??

      • William Thompson

        They need more snacks so everyone can enjoy Funky’s freak-out. Maybe Les will goad his friend into finally dying from a heart attack.

  6. Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet

    Oh, dear. Les recorded the post game on Snapchat and now it’s gone forever.

  7. Doghouse Reilly

    Pardon me, I’m still out in the kitchen stirring the hot cocoa so that it doesn’t burn the pan. Did I miss anything funny?

  8. Paul Jones

    Again with the wrong kind of face. He should be irritated or angered, not horrified.

    • William Thompson

      Really. Is Batiuk starting another important Pulitzer-baiting arc here? Will Funky have caught PTSD from Wally, or has he got another deep-seated problem?

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        I wondered this myself, but the stupid hot chocolate angle pre-emptively kills any interesting possibility. If he missed the end of the game because he couldn’t stay away from the booze or the toilet for three seconds, that could have started an arc about a serious problem. I also considered gambling addiction, but Holly and now Les also being invested in the game rules that out. Also, gamblers don’t care about the highlights, just the final score.

        That’s right, folks: Funky announcing his need to pee would have actually improved this story.

    • hitorque

      His reaction shouldn’t be anger or horror… It should be, “Waddle your ass out to the den and watch it already!”

  9. Banana Jr. 6000

    What is even going on here? Funky went to Les’ house to watch the highlight he missed. He has to see it “on this big screen”, even though his own TV isn’t a big screen (see Monday panel 3). He thanked Les for recording the postgame, which would include the game-winning shot. And… Funky has somehow missed it again?

    Do these idiots know they can push rewind and re-watch things that happened in the past? Oh wait, they do: this is Les Moore’s entire life. I’m surprised he had a scrap of media in the house that didn’t already have Dead Lisa on it. Hell, that should be the joke: “Les, can you record the postgame so I can watch it later?” “I like to watch things later. Like my wife, Lisa, who died of cancer. Did I ever tell you that she…” (talks 20 minutes, misses postgame; Funky makes prostate exam face)“.

  10. Count of Those Grove

    BWAWHAWHAWHAW! It’s funny because tomorrow is leap day, and Todd can pinch this loaf one more time!

  11. Professor Fate

    None of this makes ANY sense – why the hell is Funky freaking out NOW — he knows it’s a great shot he came over to see said shot – for les to be saying he’s watching the shot now shouldn’t cause a freakout by Funky unless well Les watching the replay erases it or that Les doesn’t have a recording device -in which case funky will just have to watch it on youtube. In the end it’s not that big a deal. Even for a huge Sports fan – there are no emotional stakes here and therefore no reason for Funky to be acting like this.

    • hitorque

      Either Funkmeister really really REALLY loves the NBA All-Star game, or that last second shot was the stuff of legends… Full court no-look hook shot that came within a inch of scraping the ceiling at the United Center…

  12. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    “Funkman! Let the WOMAN prepare the feast! Let us have manly ghey buttsex to celebrate our glorious basketball victory! I’m going to double dribble my seed into your raging wind-hole!”

    “But I came to see the end of the game and the postgame, sweet Les!”

    “It’s the price of admission, Funkster. Drop ‘em and bend over this stack of VHS tapes.”

    “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

    “What, no reacharound?? Hmmff. Some children WERE left behind.”

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      I’m sorry if this hits too close to home for, um, several of you chaps. 😉

      • Batgirl

        Not a chap, but honestly, the obsession with characters you don’t like having detailed gay sex is really really boring and not funny. I’ve been skipping your posts because of that, which is a pity because occasionally you do have something interesting or amusing to say.