53 responses to “They’re All Writing in “Lisa”

  1. Epicus Doomus

    It really is pretty funny in a 2020 context. This is Harriet’s first appearance in a long time. The last arc I can remember featuring Harriet was that unbearable honeymoon arc, which had to be at least seven or eight years ago. Man, what a shit-pile that thing was.

    Why can’t Crankshaft just already be dead in the FW timeline? It’d be so much better that way. Do it, Tom, pull a John Darling with “Crankshaft” and just kill the f*cker already. You know you want to.

    If that’s Chester and Ruby in the background I count eighteen characters in today’s strip, which is a lot. I wonder what the record is? Probably one of Les’ weddings, I’m guessing. I also assume that’s supposed to be Holly sitting at the table, although who can really tell?

    • spacemanspiff85

      Am I the only one who thinks “frog-person” every time I see Harriet? On a related note, I re-read The Shadow Over Innsmouth last week.

      • J.J. O'Malley

        I was thinking more Nien Nunb. You know, Lando’s weird little co-pilot in the orange flightsuit when the Millennium Falcon leads the attack on Death Star II in “Return of the Jedi.”

      • Epicus Doomus

        Everyone is paired off with their spouse (excluding Crankshaft who doesn’t count anyway) except Harry, whose wife (as you noted above) is absent for some inexplicable reason. I mean even f*cking HARRIET is there and Dinkle and Harriet are almost NEVER together. If he backed Crankshaft and John and Becky up a little he could have squeezed Donna in there no problem. I mean sure, she’s big but not like Holly big or anything.

        And Becky’s pinned-up sleeve is not visible today, which is exceedingly rare. And look how her shoes have laces…how does that work? If she can tie her shoes with one hand, THAT is an arc I want to see.

        • ComicBookHarriet

          Donna voted mail-in absentee. You couldn’t drag her to this cluster f**k of mismanaged volunteer bureaucracy for anything.

        • Banana Jr. 6000

          There is a one-handed technique for tying shoelaces. I tried doing it once when I had a broken shoulder. But I could never get it to work, and just wore shoes without ties until it healed.

      • billytheskink

        You are not the only one. Harriet looks like she wandered into FW from Disney’s animated series Amphibia.

      • Rusty Shackleford

        I love Cayla’s black stockings paired with white tennis shoes. It’s a hot look this fall.

    • Mr. A

      He’ll probably kill off Crankshaft in a prestige arc next year, when the COBRID-23 epidemic hits Westview. Doctors at the hospital will proclaim that they definitely could have saved him, but they didn’t have enough respirators. Les (who will be there for some reason) will vaguely criticize the government, and also point out that Lisa was much younger when she died.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        On the plus side, with “COBRID-23” at least we’d know what year it’s supposed to be in Funky Winkerbean. And can’t you just see Batiuk deciding that all these time skips add up to exactly a 4-year difference?

  2. Oh God, I’ve often thought that if, in real life, someone who looked like Snuffy Smith approached me, I’d have a seizure or something. Nothing that hideous can exist in the real world unless Cthulhu really has awakened, and in a really bad mood, too.

    Now you can add Dinkle’s wife. Gah. That’s just horrific.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Harriet Dinkle is one of those FW characters that’s so far on the periphery you have to wonder why he still acknowledges her existence at all.

      • spacemanspiff85

        It’s so weird. I think Harry’s wife had a much bigger role in this strip back in the day, but Batiuk has been very consistent about having Harriet Dinkle standing around in scenes like this, like she’s a beloved fan-favorite.

        • Epicus Doomus

          If there is a single Harriet Dinkle fan anywhere in the world I very much want to speak to that person. Just imagine you have a chance encounter with a real, no-fooling FW fan and you ask them who their favorite character is and they say “Harriet”. I mean it’d be totally jaw-dropping. The odds on finding a real no-fooling FW fan whose favorite character is Harriet must be a trillion to one, if not higher.

        • billytheskink

          Harriet was an unseen character for many years, henpecking Harry from off-panel via word balloons. I don’t think we ever actually saw her face until an arc where she threatened, via e-mail, to leave Harry.

          • Epicus Doomus

            Whoa, that one I do not remember, although I do sort of remember the henpecking. The only Harriet arc I remember well was the honeymoon one I mentioned above. All kinds of somewhat disturbing overtones, if I remember it correctly.

          • spacemanspiff85

            Literally all I remember about Harriet is Harry boasting about how she had to put out now that he got her a birthday cake, basically.

  3. Mr. A

    Haiku of the Day:

    Don’t forget to vote!
    You want to be like them, right?
    [All of us stay home]

  4. Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet

    Dinkle looks like a priest.

  5. William Thompson

    When he got dressed that morning Harriet must have told him to go frock himself.

  6. William Thompson

    Now for the real question: why is there no mention of Montoni’s?

  7. J.J. O'Malley

    Well, I said, based on Monday’s topic, that Tuesday would involve Les and voting, but I couldn’t begin to imagine it would be this loopy.

    I didn’t even think all these caricatures (they’re not well-rounded enough to be called characters) lived in the same city in Ohio, let alone the same voting precinct (just how small is Westview?). And what are the chances that everyone within this Dead St. Lisa-linked social circle would show up at the same time in the afternoon (I assume school was open, not that that ever stops Les or Becky) at the polling place, with no strangers between them?

    Frankly, I think both Les and Cayla are checking out Funky’s running-toned rump and wondering what might have been.

    In spite of this, I hope everyone has either voted or plans to do so on Tuesday.

  8. Count of Tower Grove

    So Worstview has only one electoral precinct, and the only eligible voter from Bedside Manor is the one we thought had died.

  9. billytheskink

    How do the school levies keep failing when half of these voters either work for the school system or are married to someone who does?

    • Epicus Doomus

      There are very few dissenters in Westview. Almost everyone more or less thinks in lockstep with one another. Look at the wry side, life sucks and there’s nothing you can do about it, pizza, comic books and so forth. The only Westviewian I can think of who deviates from that outlook is Roberta, Becky’s mom, who was always a mean contrarian dick just for the sake of it. But who knows if she’s even alive anymore, as I have to assume she’s died from exposure by now.

      Cory used to be an outlier but not anymore. They’re all the same. So to answer your question, I don’t see how it’s possible either. especially given Funky’s powerful political connections.

    • William Thompson

      They learned about politics, taxes and elections when they took civics at Westview High. It’s astonishing that they know they live in a democracy. Understanding elections is too much for them.

    • Don

      Who said they fail? It’s just that the school has to spend the money on things like (a) increased liability insurance for football, to allow things like letting somebody in a mascot costume play varsity football (cancelling football is out of the question – what would the band do?), and (b) having to spend more on girls’ sports as a result because of Title IX.

      • billytheskink

        Well, they didn’t fail when Bill Clinton came to town in support of the 1993 one and in that late Act II arc where they built the new high school. Other than that?


        Followed by:

        • Banana Jr. 6000

          If Westview High School had ten teachers that were worse than Les, Poodle Head, and Kablichnik, I say they should have laid off more.

  10. Rusty Shackleford

    Ugh what a motley crew. Not a looker in the bunch. What terrible artwork. It’s just so… agh I give up. Peace to everyone here.

    • Margaret

      You can barely see her face, but I think Cayla looks nice. Very good posture, too! True about the rest, especially Harriet, who doesn’t really look human.

  11. Rob

    Just to pick a few that haven’t been mentioned yet: Pete looks like he hasn’t slept in a month, a situation he finds wryly amusing, while Mindy continues to raise the question “is it possible for a comics character to exclusively be drawn off-model?”

  12. ComicBookHarriet

    So this confirms that both Chester and Ruby actually LIVE in Westview? Despite it being implied that Atomic Comics is in a large city? And Chester living on a palatial estate in the country?

    • William Thompson

      Chester probably rents a place in Worstview so he can claim to live there and pay lower taxes. Is that how it works? No? Then that’s Batiuk’s explanation

  13. Banana Jr. 6000

    Yesterday I said if I were editor of Funky WInkerbean, I would impose a rule of “no more sideways strips.” Well, today’s new rule is “no more 11-month lead times.” And this monument to laziness is why.

    In one of the most unique elections in American history, Tom Batiuk can’t be bothered to make one concession to reality. Everyone’s standing in line at the high school gym breathing on each other like it’s 1988. There are no masks, no social distancing, no absentee voting, no mail ballots, no tension, and no reference to anything that’s happened this year.

    Everyone is old and white, except for Cayla, who is such a poorly developed character that she might as well be. There’s no Rana, Khan, or anyone else. (Or Adeela, but we know she isn’t a citizen, so that’s justified.) But hey, there’s 110-year-old vegetable Ed Crankshaft! There’s Ruby Lith and Chester Hagglemore! There’s Dinkle’s wife who we haven’t seen in years! The line to vote in Dixville Notch, New Hampshire isn’t this white.

    There’s no excuse for something this out-of-date to exist. When the 2000 election fiasco happened, South Park had a half-hour animated episode on the air in eight days. After the 9/11 attacks, it had one in two months. Like the sideways panels, the 11-month lead time is a crutch that enables bad writing. It’s time Batiuk learned to walk without it. Or retire.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      But he showed Montoni’s Pizza putting up a virtue signaling sign yesterday, so that makes it ok.

      Batty is on the horn with the NYT now talking about diversity in his strip.

  14. Gerard Plourde

    So have Darren and Jessica entered the Limbo of the Lost Characters where Summer, Keisha, Jinx, Maddie, etc. reside?

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Really. This lazy strip dragged Dinkle’s wife out of mothballs, but no Westview graduate from this millennium could be depicted in the voting line?

  15. Dood

    We’ll have to check the final polling, but it looks like Funky’s ass is drawing a lot of voter enthusiasm.

  16. PrezGAR

    So, who’s not there? Darrin and Jessica, Wally and Rachel. Cory and Rocky. Linda. Nate.

    • batgirl

      Wally and Rachel are standing in the back right by the booths. Darrin & Jessica missing is surprising, since Boy Lisa is one of TB’s pets.
      Hey! Crankshaft is voting twice! Once here and once leaving a busful of children completely unattended.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        And Crankshaft isn’t even voting for president, because his world is 10 years behind the world of Funky Winkerbean.

    • Margaret

      Also not there – Summer and Keisha, but maybe they don’t live in Westview now?

  17. sgtsaunders

    Everyone looks about 3/4 size.

  18. Banana Jr. 6000

    Crankshaft’s presence in this line really bothers me. He’s obviously a complete invalid, who probably can’t even mark a box without assistance. He should be voting by mail and/or by representative, whatever Ohio law allows. Just moving someone in his condition is a serious challenge that requires multiple people and probably a specialized vehicle. I guess Batiuk wants to show that even the oldest and weakest among us can, and should, still vote. But by forcing him to perform the unnecessary task of going to the voting place, it really has the opposite effect.

  19. Perfect Tommy

    Bull’s funeral didn’t have this many people.

  20. Gerard Plourde

    So will Jfff’s write in vote be for Starbuck Jones or the Queen of Murania?

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      I want to hear Marcie read off the Westview voting results. “That’s one vote for Lisa. That’s one vote for Tika, Queen of Murania, That’s one vote for The Flash. And I know my vote, sir: I voted for Montoni’s Pizza.”

  21. Westview Radiology

    Heyyyy where’s Linda holding Bulls football helmet in her hand?