And Not A Creature Was Stirring, Except In Mort’s Pants

Link To Today’s Strip

Good old horndog Morton, fully recovered from his advanced Alzheimer’s disease and as randy as ever. Gross. I honestly forgot all about Melinda, who apparently still lives with Funky and Holly in Pizza Mahal. And Cory and Rocky…apparently they’re still characters in the strip. Who knew? Other than the fact that they’re engaged we really know very, very little about Cory and Rocky. Comic books, pizza, the army, engaged…and that’s about it. They’ve had one or two arcs at most over the last six or seven years and those were when he first came marching home.

Where do they live? Where do they work? What do they do? Why are they even in the strip in the first place? Continuity? That’s, uh, “inconsistent”, let’s say. As far as Morton is concerned I don’t want to belabor the point as I’ve ranted about it many times, but his transformation from “advanced dementia patient” to “sassy and adorable old coot” is one of the more offensive things BatYarn’s done over the course of Act III. He milked that Alzheimer’s arc for a shitload of pathos, it really takes a lot of balls to just suddenly drop it and have Mort jamming with jazz combos and hitting on elderly women.

19 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

19 responses to “And Not A Creature Was Stirring, Except In Mort’s Pants

  1. J.J. O'Malley

    So, wait. Is this the same dark and snowy night as yesterday’s strip? Was Melinda going to be fending off Mort’s priapic propositions while Hunky and Folly were out a-wassailing with “the gang”? Were Cory and Rocky likewise going to be busy making out in one of Chateau Winkerbean’s brightly-lit rooms? Or did all these horny houseguests suddenly show up, despite the clunky first-panel exposition? Inquiring minds want to know.

    Oh…and at what point in Act III did Winkberbean fils actually become the same age as Winkerbean pere?

    • Mr. A

      Funky and Holly have changed clothes since yesterday’s strip, so I’m going to assume that this is indeed a different night.

  2. Banana Jr. 6000

    So we’re not at Bedside Manor? Where are we then? Who are all these new people? Why do they act like we should know them when we haven’t heard their names in months? Why did Funky want to go out caroling five minutes ago, if it’s now too dangerous to take Morton back to the retirement home? Who is Morton anyway? Why is he hitting on Melinda? Should we be rooting for him to succeed, or not? Why should he need to stay a several days over a common snowstorm? Who are these two young people? Did we skip a week of strips? Why doesn’t Tom Batiuk know what exposition is or when he should use it?

    • Epicus Doomus

      Morton is Funky’s father. Back in early Act III Morton developed Alzheimer’s and Funky struggled with the decision to place him in Bedside Manor, a struggle that nearly led him to start drinking again, which led to his near-fatal car crash, which led to the creation of Starbuck Jones, which led to the creation of Mason Jarre, which led to Lisa’s Story-The Movie 2.0. So it was a pretty significant arc at the time.

      Then, completely out of nowhere, Funky went to visit Mort, who had taken up smoking and appeared astonishingly lucid for an advanced dementia patient. Since then Mort has joined a band and become a sort of stalker-ish pervert, albeit an adorable one.

      • billytheskink

        Morton’s remarkable recovery is one of the key cogs in my dumb “Funky is still dreaming in that coma” theory. The Starbuck Jones-ification of this strip is another.

  3. billytheskink

    Poor Carla Rhodes. First Holly lied about wanting to be friends with her and now she’s holding her daughter hostage on Christmas Eve on account of a little snow…

    • Epicus Doomus

      Oh yes, Rocky’s bedraggled mom. That was part of the SJ collection arc, the very collection Cory later sold to buy Rocky’s engagement ring. Seemed kind of pathetic at the time, seems downright sad now.

  4. Gerard Plourde

    The complete lack of continuity and absence of a coherent plot is once again on display. And if this is a Winkerbean family gathering, where are Wally and Rachael?

  5. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    The holidays turn Mort on. I guess Cory and Rocky come over to watch the geriatric hormones flow every Christmas.

    • Hitorque

      At least Morton knows what to do with a woman as opposed to all the immature manbaby characters with way-too-hot wives that only serve as eye candy — Darrin, Pete, the Winkerbean army veteran at the pizzeria with the redhead wife, the Winkerbean army veteran at the pizzeria with the shorthair brunette tomboy wife, Jerome Bushka, Masone “Bi-polar” Jarre (although to be fair, his hotwife is emotionally unhinged), whoever Holly’s boyfriend was back in the day when she could still get it, and even Les who clearly loved Lisa too much to actually have dirty sex with her more than five times in their marriage…

  6. William Thompson

    Okay, it’s Funky Winkerbean and this is pointless, but I’m still trying to make sense of Cooty’s expression in the banner. Why does he look so stoked? “Hey, Rachel or Raquel or whatever you’re called, look! It’s those oil-filled Christmas lights I told you about! Break one open and we can get high for a week on the fumes!” or “Wow! Dad, the ceiling! You painted it just like the cover of Starbuck Jones Special #13, Starbuck Jones Saves Santa!”

  7. And over at Batiuk’s blog, he wishes his readers a Merry Christmas by showing a photo of lights, a couch, possibly part of a wreath…with no part of it in focus.

  8. Westview Radiology

    Flunky and Father look more like brothers. Jeez.

  9. Hitorque

    Between Mort and Cliff Angere, I guess the only way to get away with showing old school brazen horndog lechery on the comics page is to portray it from 90-something dudes??