Lead Based Paint

Link To Today’s Strip

Good. I was worried I wouldn’t get to have any Les Moore action during my stint this time.

That was sarcasm, in case you were wondering. If I’m ever actually happy to see Les Moore, I’ll let you know so I can be transferred to the appropriate facilities.

At least he’s keeping his smug stupid mouth shut.

And Funky’s so unimpressed to see him, that he’s not even bothering to get his ass out of his chair.

In fact, this entire strip has a weird manic energy to it. Les just…smiles. While Funky, apropos of nothing, grimaces and waves his arms, and rants about seeing through walls. You could edit Les out of the strip entirely. He’s just a prop for Funky to use. He could have been anyone. Swap him with Harry, Holly, Corey, Garfield. It wouldn’t change a thing.

It’s almost like…like Les Moore isn’t there at all. And Funky is ranting at an imaginary Les he conjured up in his delirious need to have someone smirk beatifically at his stupid joke the very moment it entered his mind.

Maybe Funky fantasizes a silent Les Moore a lot.

It would be at least one thing we have in common.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

22 responses to “Lead Based Paint

  1. Lord Flatulence

    That would be a good comic. Instead of Garfield without Garfield, it would be Funky without anyone.

  2. William Thompson

    “But right now, I feel like I’m talking to a wall! A brick wall! You just going to stand there, Les?”

  3. billytheskink

    What a pal, that Les, showing up after Funky and Crazy finished watching literal days worth of Batman cartoons. Funky didn’t need cataract surgery to be able to see the utter darkness permeating Les’ soul.

  4. J.J. O'Malley

    I don’t suppose it’s possible that Les actually died in the California wildfire last year, and Funky is indeed just having a chat with his deceased pal, but it is indeed a fun thing to contemplate.

    Based on his “seeing through walls” comment, another cheery direction this storyline could take next week is the one first set up in Roger Corman’s 1963 sci-fil classic “X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes.” I for one would look forward to a hapless Funkster, his vision growing into the macrocosmic, winding up at an Ohio revival tent where the preacher tells him what to do “if thine eye offends thee.”

  5. Banana Jr. 6000

    He was in the masthead all week, showed up on the last possible day, contributed nothing, and shoves his high school experience in your face. That’s our Les!

  6. Epicus Doomus

    Too bad this didn’t happen twenty years ago, as Funky would have been able to see through Lisa and yadda yadda yadda FW is a radically different strip today. Then again, it probably wouldn’t be “better” and Lisa would still be around, so perhaps it all worked out for the best.

  7. saturnino

    “Maybe Funky fantasizes a silent Les Moore a lot. ”
    In Bathack’s mind, I imagine he thinks it’s doing more with Les.

  8. Rusty Shackleford

    Where is Funky sitting…it’s not his house, it looks like a 1950s bungalow.

    Funky lives in a McMansion.

  9. William Thompson

    This strip is a terrible eyesore.

  10. Count of Tower Grove

    Panel 3 Fungy looks like Quincy Magoo.

    • ComicBookHarriet

      Plottwist, Funky Winkerbean has been a Mr. Magoo prequel this whole time.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        You know… I can picture Leslie Nielsen playing the role of Funky. And George Kennedy really wanted to play Ed Crankshaft, to the extent he got makeup for the role. He’d be on board, if only for a cameo. Go back in time to 1997, get one good scriptwriter, deny Tom Batiuk any say in anything, and.. maybe it works? If goddam Marmaduke can be a movie as late as 2010, then pre-cancer, early Act II Funky Winkerbean, with an A-list star and Naked Gun nostalgia going for it, has a shot.

  11. Dood

    Go on, pull Funky’s finger, Les.

  12. sgtsaunders

    Wow, how shitty is Funky’s life that he has both a real and an imaginary Les.

  13. Jimmy

    Seeing Les wearing his WHS shirt, it gives me creepy vibes, like Funky wants to see through the locker room walls.

  14. Hitorque

    So seeing how upbeat Funkenstein has been, all the Doom and Gloom and knocking on death’s door and writing out a will seems even sillier in hindsight