Haiku Dive

Today's strip still has
That chair jammed in the ladder
And also two shmucks

So what's with the chair?
Is that really going to
Keep folks off the dive?

Les can dish it out
"Memory lane is now closed"
But he can't take it

Not some great mem'ry
Les scared to jump off high dive
A weak Act I gag

More memorable
Was Les and the climbing rope
A low bar to clear

Les and the rope, though
Had the off chance that he might
Wind up hung to death

28 thoughts on “Haiku Dive”

  1. Does it even matter if he jumped off the diving board? You’re both in your 50s at this point! Can we move on, please? I see Lisa in the banner for next week, so clearly that’s a big NO.

    1. I’m pretty sure a normal middle-aged human would be able to laugh about his inability to jump off a diving board in high school. But not our Less. He can never be humorous in any way. He must remain dreary and hateful at all times. Nobody kids around with our hero!

      1. I like the idea that Les was afraid to dive off the “high” board in high school, but now we see it’s just an ordinary rec pool height.

        I wish it were smaller, like in a backyard pool.

      2. It’s amazing that even the comic strip itself kowtows to Les’ thin skin and ego. As if Tom Batiuk himself doesn’t dare cause Les even the slightest bit of discomfort.

    2. Oh dear G-d, I hadn’t noticed Lisa up there, on quick inspection I thought it was another annoying senior.

      1. Yes, the one-woman zombie apocalypse is back for her fourth story of 2022 (bird feeder, Oscar award, Harry’s time travel trip). And it’s not even time for the anniversary of her death or the Lisa’s Legacy Run yet!

  2. Funky had better watch his step, or he might find himself being forced to grovel for Les’ forgiveness again. See, it’s OK if Les makes condescending, wry remarks about how terribly his friends have aged since high school, but dare to mention Les’ dweebish past and he storms off in a fury, all full of rage. That’s all been expunged from the record, retconned away and negated when he met Lisa.

    Anyhow, yeah, I’d like to see him jump from that diving board right now, with the pool as-is. Preferably from an even higher platform. Maybe they could borrow the WHS scissor lift, if Becky’s mom is finished with it yet.

    1. I have felt a Funky suicide climax growing with each appearance of the pool.
      Les would be fine, too.

  3. Don’t get too smug, Les, next week Lisa and her breast cancer will chase you down Mammary Lane.

    1. Indeed. In Les’ worldview, I don’t think there is such a thing as “too” smug.

  6. The rope gag was more memorable, but the diving board gag was more prolific, there’s probably two weeks worth of it a summer every year for the first five years.

    1. Ian’sdrunkenbeard,
      I listened to every suggestion made yesterday. I was even pumped to ask my kids and their spouses for their selections. I added many songs to my phone’s playlist. I was in a daze, a delirium listening and enjoying to such great guitar music. Then you enter my life! Tokyo Groove Jyoshi! Wagakki Band!
      It’s like eating at a world class restaurant for the very first time. Thank you!

    1. All this music geeking out has me thinking of a really weird Vintage FW from a few weeks back.

      1. This strip is almost two haikus:

        Who cares what they write
        About you in Rolling Stone,
        Paul? I still love ya!

        So what it if your last
        Album got a lead record?
        I’m in for long haul!

    2. Well, if we’re posting videos of Japanese musicians, I’d like to repost the one Charles posted several months ago. The stubby arms crack me up.

      The character is a cat named Nyango Star and is in a mascot metal band. 😂

      1. That’s a Five Nights At Freddy’s mod that’s waiting to happ – scratch that, I’m sure it already exists.

  9. First the playground
    Then memory lane.
    What will be closed next?

    Not exactly (or even close to) a haiku, but why should I work any harder than Batty?

  10. be ware of eve hill
    August 11, 2022 at 1:57 am

    I thought it was a chair, but why would it be wedged into the diving board ladder?

    Yippee! It appears I won the “What the Hell is that Thing in the Diving Board” contest!

    So what’s my prize? I get to come back here and read all your snark again tomorrow! YaY!

Comments are closed.